# I Found Jesus On A Roll Of Toilet Paper In A Casino Men’s Room **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 4, 2007, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus-on-a-roll-of-toilet-paper-in-a-casino-men-s-room/418040 "2007-09-04T20:01:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2007, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus-on-a-roll-of-toilet-paper-in-a-casino-men-s-room/418040/1 "2007-09-04T20:01:09Z")
Ya know, you can’t make up stuff like this. So I was at my local casino and had just finished a nice buffet lunch, went to the restroom and – well, let’s not digress into TMI here – but then it came time to reach for the toilet paper. I pulled and about 5 sheets down (sorry Sheryl Crow, I am a wasteful person) there was a little post-it note with small writing on it. I got out my glasses and, considering I was already seated comfortably, proceeded to read the post-it note. Now, to be honest, I seriously expected this to be a note from Larry Craig or someone like him, offering me a wild sexual escapade if I tapped my foot to the tune of “Clang Clang Clang Went The Trolley”. No – that was not the case. Someone had actually written, in teeny-tiny script, some quote from the Bible and suggested this could be my path to redemption. Hmm…this person’s mind must truly work in mysterious ways if they think that a good time for spiritual conversion is when I am sitting, with my pants off, in a stall, in a men’s room, in a casino. I did, however, peek through the crack in the stall door to make sure two smiling guys in white shirts were not waiting to present me with a copy of The Watchtower. It was safe. I quickly washed my hands and fled the Christian science lavatory reading room. I just feel it is my civic duty to warn you all of a cult of strange men who hang out in public restrooms, preying on men with their pants down and trying to convert them. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2007, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus-on-a-roll-of-toilet-paper-in-a-casino-men-s-room/418040/2 "2007-09-04T20:08:03Z")
[QUOTE=DMark] Someone had actually written, in teeny-tiny script, some quote from the Bible [/QUOTE] Well? What was the quote? Was it, perhaps, Lamentations 1:20? > [@](#): > > Behold, O LORD; for I am in distress: my bowels are troubled Or maybe Jeremiah 4:19? > [@](#): > > My bowels, my bowels! I am pained at my very heart; my heart maketh a noise in me; I cannot hold my peace, because thou hast heard, O my soul, the sound of the trumpet ---
**Author:** ![PaulParkhead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@PaulParkhead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PaulParkhead)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2007, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus-on-a-roll-of-toilet-paper-in-a-casino-men-s-room/418040/3 "2007-09-04T20:14:20Z")
It’s Larry Craig, seeking redemption 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2007, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus-on-a-roll-of-toilet-paper-in-a-casino-men-s-room/418040/4 "2007-09-04T20:21:34Z")
Life imitates art: [Men’s Room LA](http://www.lyricstime.com/kinky-friedman-men-s-room-l-a-lyrics.html) sung by Kinky Friedman. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2007, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus-on-a-roll-of-toilet-paper-in-a-casino-men-s-room/418040/5 "2007-09-04T20:28:19Z")
[QUOTE=DMark] … and had just finished a nice buffet lunch, went to the restroom and … [/QUOTE] I’d figured, mistakenly as it turns out, that any forthcoming quotes would be from Newton’s Third. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2007, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus-on-a-roll-of-toilet-paper-in-a-casino-men-s-room/418040/6 "2007-09-04T20:34:29Z")
Let me get this straight, someone wrote passages from their holy book and put them in a place that would allow them to be used to wipe someone’s ass? He should have just saved time and written it on the toilet paper. [QUOTE=Thudlow Boink] Well? What was the quote? Was it, perhaps, Lamentations 1:20? Or maybe Jeremiah 4:19? [/QUOTE] LOL thats beautiful. Now there’s some classy graffiti. ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2007, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus-on-a-roll-of-toilet-paper-in-a-casino-men-s-room/418040/7 "2007-09-04T21:02:27Z")
[QUOTE=Thudlow Boink] Well? What was the quote? [/QUOTE] The quote was from **Revelation 13:18** and it recommends the finder to place a bet of $660 on No.6. _Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six._ ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2007, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus-on-a-roll-of-toilet-paper-in-a-casino-men-s-room/418040/8 "2007-09-04T22:38:23Z")
Bible verses is one thing, but if they urge following that up with baptism by immersion in the blessed waters, I’d try to find a different venue. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2007, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus-on-a-roll-of-toilet-paper-in-a-casino-men-s-room/418040/9 "2007-09-04T23:16:14Z")
This is really not what I expected. You don’t want to know what I expected. But it involved an image of Jesus on the toilet paper. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus-on-a-roll-of-toilet-paper-in-a-casino-men-s-room/418040/10 "2007-09-05T00:33:13Z")
[QUOTE=hotflungwok] LOL thats beautiful. Now there’s some classy graffiti. [/QUOTE] Okay, I just need some post-it notes and those two quotes and I’ll start posting those verses in various restrooms. ---
**Author:** ![PaulParkhead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@PaulParkhead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PaulParkhead)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus-on-a-roll-of-toilet-paper-in-a-casino-men-s-room/418040/11 "2007-09-05T01:21:12Z")
[QUOTE=Johnny L.A.] This is really not what I expected. You don’t want to know what I expected. But it involved an image of Jesus on the toilet paper. [/QUOTE] Well, suppose that happened. Um, whatever it was. Er. Well, we had a casino that paid thousands of dollars for a grilled cheese sandwich that apparently had the Virgin Mary on it. What would they pay for a piece of toilet paper that…um, I’ll get my coat. ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus-on-a-roll-of-toilet-paper-in-a-casino-men-s-room/418040/12 "2007-09-05T02:25:02Z")
[QUOTE=DMark] I seriously expected this to be a note from Larry Craig or someone like him, offering me a wild sexual escapade if I tapped my foot to the tune of “Clang Clang Clang Went The Trolley”. [/QUOTE] It was going to be, but he changed his mind… ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus-on-a-roll-of-toilet-paper-in-a-casino-men-s-room/418040/13 "2007-09-05T02:34:15Z")
So, was Jesus gentle on your butt crack? Or was it more like Old Testament TP, running roughshod over your ass? ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus-on-a-roll-of-toilet-paper-in-a-casino-men-s-room/418040/14 "2007-09-05T03:47:11Z")
[QUOTE=DMark] . . . a cult of strange men who hang out in public restrooms, preying on men with their pants down and trying to convert them. [/QUOTE] At least they weren’t praying on men with their pants down. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus-on-a-roll-of-toilet-paper-in-a-casino-men-s-room/418040/15 "2007-09-05T04:21:49Z")
You found Jesus in a casino Men’s Room? That’s odd, he usually hangs around in jails, that’s where everyone else finds him. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus-on-a-roll-of-toilet-paper-in-a-casino-men-s-room/418040/16 "2007-09-05T11:24:46Z")
Jesus was cruising. Even dieties need love. ---
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus-on-a-roll-of-toilet-paper-in-a-casino-men-s-room/418040/17 "2007-09-05T13:16:12Z")
[QUOTE=Johnny L.A.] This is really not what I expected. You don’t want to know what I expected. But it involved an image of Jesus on the toilet paper. [/QUOTE] Did you also come into this thread, hoping for a pic? Or dreading a pic… ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus-on-a-roll-of-toilet-paper-in-a-casino-men-s-room/418040/18 "2007-09-05T13:35:30Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] Jesus was cruising. Even dieties need love. [/QUOTE] Gay lovin’, it seems. I shall never look at a Christian Science Reading Room the same way again.