# I Found Jesus! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 7, 2002, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/117741 "2002-07-07T03:56:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2002, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/117741/21 "2002-07-08T13:07:13Z")
One of my favourite jokes: Easter has been cancelled. They found the body. ---
**Author:** ![Banger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@Banger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banger)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2002, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/117741/22 "2002-07-08T17:00:13Z")
It’s always the last place you look. ---
**Author:** ![RalfCoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@RalfCoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RalfCoder)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2002, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/117741/23 "2002-07-08T17:58:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OpalCat \* > **"…the mouldering corpse of Christ"** Band name!!! ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2002, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/117741/24 "2002-07-08T23:41:10Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally posted by FNRFR:_ > It’s always the last place you look. Well, I’d hope so…😛 ---
**Author:** ![Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/2bfe46/32.png) [@Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xavier)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/117741/25 "2002-07-09T00:27:47Z")
> [@](#): > > **Osiris** : (We had farm fresh chickens from a neighbor down the road, not the sterile store kind.) I’ve read every other post here, and this is the only piece that’s got to be sacreligious. ---
**Author:** ![WSLer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a6a055/32.png) [@WSLer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WSLer)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/117741/26 "2002-07-09T00:34:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OpalCat \* > \*\*[I’m so very happy now!](http://gallery.opalcat.com/index.cgi?mode=image&album=/Art/ShirtDesigns&image=couch.jpg) > _chortle_😉 \*\* Oh, you’re going straight to Hell, none of this being judged by St. Peter bullshit.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Squish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Squish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squish)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/117741/27 "2002-07-09T01:49:53Z")
I found Jesus once… He was hiding in my trunk on the way back from Nogales. ---
**Author:** ![Billy\_Rubin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billy_rubin/32/3622_2.png) [@Billy\_Rubin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billy_Rubin)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/117741/28 "2002-07-09T01:52:38Z")
_I don’t care if it rains or freezes, long as I got a sleeping Jesus laying in the dust behind my couch_ God is gonna get me now for sure. b. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/117741/29 "2002-07-09T02:11:26Z")
Did you at least stop and get him something to eat at the huge McDonalds at the border by Nogales? ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/117741/30 "2002-07-09T02:51:17Z")
Yeah, we were discussing this over [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=124320) too. “How’s the weather there in New England?” my friend asked the other day. “Yellow.” I replied. Well, it was! ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/117741/31 "2002-07-09T02:52:47Z")
Um, oops! This was supposed to go in [a totally different thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=124428). My humblest apologies! ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/117741/32 "2002-07-09T04:29:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kallessa \*\*\* > Now that you’ve found him, what are you going to do with him? \*\* Personally, I’d stick him in an oversized mason jar and charge $5 a gander. $3 for kids and seniors. Ranchoth ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/117741/33 "2002-07-09T05:28:45Z")
There’s cookies missing again. Where’s Jesus now? ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/117741/34 "2002-07-09T14:19:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SkipMagic \* > \*\* > > I say put him in a barcalounger for the next 2000 years and see what happens.\*\* Don’t. Stomata stains are a bitch to get out of the upholstery. For what it’s worth, Kinky Friedman found Jesus in a [men’s room near L.A…](http://www.kinkyfriedman.com/ly-lasso.htm#mensroomlasso) He helped Kinky there and might help someone else if you put him back. [sub]_Oh God, I am going to hell…_[/sub] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/117741.md?page=1)