# I Found Jesus **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 1, 2013, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/667730 "2013-09-01T15:04:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/667730/1 "2013-09-01T15:04:51Z")
[He was under our refrigerator.](http://i681.photobucket.com/albums/vv174/kayaker01/20130901_084905_zps8b2124dd.jpg) How he got there I haven’t a clue. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/667730/2 "2013-09-01T15:11:37Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > [He was under our refrigerator.](http://i681.photobucket.com/albums/vv174/kayaker01/20130901_084905_zps8b2124dd.jpg) How he got there I haven’t a clue. Did you have to roll a boulder away from the front of your fridge? ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/667730/3 "2013-09-01T15:17:56Z")
Couldn’t have. I was in an antique store in central MN this week and found a plastic bag full of a whole bunch of baby Jesuses. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/667730/4 "2013-09-01T15:20:49Z")
No! I saw water on the floor in front of the refrigerator. I thought maybe the water came from the refrigerator, so I looked under it. I found Jesus along with a cubic shitload of dog hair, a dedicated carrot peel, and a 1969 penny. At first I thought the puddle was Jesus’ tears and was quite excited, but the gf remembered dropping an ice cube and not retrieving it last night. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/667730/5 "2013-09-01T15:21:51Z")
This Jesus is all grown up AND HE GLOWS IN THE DARK!!! ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/667730/6 "2013-09-01T15:23:09Z")
It’s Nuclear Jesus! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/667730/7 "2013-09-01T15:26:30Z")
OK, gotta go. Kathryn Kuhlman’s foundation is interested in my Jesus!! Oh, and I woke up with a mild hangover THAT IS NOW GONE!! Praise glowing Jesus!! (Miller: I think you misspelled “nucular”) ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/667730/8 "2013-09-01T15:31:57Z")
put him back. you will get free fish, bread and wine. ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/667730/9 "2013-09-01T15:33:00Z")
**I Found Jesus** Oh thank god. I can finally throw out that damn milk carton. ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/667730/10 "2013-09-01T15:51:48Z")
Nice Jesus, kayaker. He belongs on your dashboard, not under the fridge. ---
**Author:** ![RobDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@RobDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobDog)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/667730/11 "2013-09-01T15:59:53Z")
Forget the Jesus, I want to hear about the dedicated carrot peel. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/667730/12 "2013-09-01T16:01:56Z")
> [@RobDog](#): > > Forget the Jesus, I want to hear about the dedicated carrot peel. Shit. Jesus let me down! The peel was _desiccated_, but either Satan or Autocorrect got past Jesus. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/667730/13 "2013-09-01T16:02:57Z")
> [@Aquadementia](#): > > Nice Jesus, kayaker. > He belongs on your dashboard, not under the fridge. His head doesn’t bobble, else he’d be dashboard material for sure. ---
**Author:** ![RobDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@RobDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobDog)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/667730/14 "2013-09-01T16:06:36Z")
Shame. I was hoping for a biblical tale of various vegetable cast-offs keeping vigil over our Lord and Saviour of the Domestic Appliances. ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/667730/15 "2013-09-01T16:10:53Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > His head doesn’t bobble, else he’d be dashboard material for sure. That’s not necessary. You might be thinking of John the Baptist. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/667730/16 "2013-09-01T16:42:32Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > His head doesn’t bobble, else he’d be dashboard material for sure. I had a Buddy Christ as a dashboard idol. Currently he’s protecting my roommate’s computer from viruses and malware. _Get yourself a sweet Madonna, Clad in rhinestones sitting on a Pedestal of abalone shell. Going ninety I ain’t scary Cause I got the Virgin Mary Assuring me that I won’t go to Hell._ ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/667730/17 "2013-09-01T16:45:28Z")
That’s not Jesus. It’s a novice wizard from an unpublished Tolkien novel. Gandalf the Green. ---
**Author:** ![mandala](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mandala/32/95_2.png) [@mandala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mandala)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/667730/18 "2013-09-01T17:44:24Z")
Dog hair under the fridge? Hmm. Are you sure it wasnt Jesus shedding his hair? If the hair is blonde, I guess that’s His. Jesus has blonde hair and blue eyes. ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/667730/19 "2013-09-01T17:50:11Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Did you have to roll a boulder away from the front of your fridge? Next time be careful where you roll that thing [TO](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5ogSmH8M84)! (Starts at about the :20 mark.) ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/667730/20 "2013-09-01T20:31:56Z")
> [@SiXSwordS](#): > > Next time be careful where you roll that thing [TO](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5ogSmH8M84)! (Starts at about the :20 mark.) holy crap! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-jesus/667730.md?page=2)