# I Found My Epitaph **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 31, 2013, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773 "2013-05-31T05:43:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/1 "2013-05-31T05:43:24Z")
Tonight I was indexing death certificates for the FamilySearch website. I came across a woman who died in 1934 at the age of 85. Her cause of death? “No discernible defect: Just worn out” I now want “Just Worn Out” as my epitaph. ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/2 "2013-05-31T05:51:57Z")
Love it. I want mine to read “Well, THAT didn’t work.” Just so people will scratch their heads and wonder What? WHAT? so they won’t try “it” too. ---
**Author:** ![movingfinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@movingfinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/movingfinger)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/3 "2013-05-31T06:58:55Z")
How about “I’m going to try it. What could go wrong?” ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/4 "2013-05-31T07:30:16Z")
I’m sticking with “When there’s no more room in hell, the dead shall walk the earth” ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/5 "2013-05-31T07:30:57Z")
“It seemed like a good idea at the time” ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/6 "2013-05-31T10:13:11Z")
I live in Georgia. “Hey, ya’ll watch this” Pretty much the state motto ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Knig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/7 "2013-05-31T10:17:49Z")
“I wish I spent more time at work” because I hate platitudes. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/8 "2013-05-31T11:36:38Z")
Mine was written by a student on an evaluation, geez, back in the '80s sometime: “She drinks a lot of Diet Coke and sometimes her jokes are really weird.” Put it in the past tense, change Diet Coke to Diet Dr Pepper, and we’re good to go (sic). ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/9 "2013-05-31T12:21:06Z")
“Well, bugger.” ---
**Author:** ![NotMyselfOfLate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/df705f/32.png) [@NotMyselfOfLate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NotMyselfOfLate)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/10 "2013-05-31T12:27:57Z")
_She tried and she tried and she finally died._ ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/11 "2013-05-31T12:33:44Z")
“Whatever” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/12 "2013-05-31T12:52:54Z")
“and now, for my next trick…” ---
**Author:** ![AaronX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7bcc69/32.png) [@AaronX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AaronX)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/13 "2013-05-31T12:55:01Z")
Can you make a broken tombstone that says: “The secret to life is \_\_\_”? ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/14 "2013-05-31T13:57:15Z")
> [@MissTake](#): > > “No discernible defect: Just worn out” > > I now want “Just Worn Out” as my epitaph. OK, you can have that. I’ll take “No discernible defect.” ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/15 "2013-05-31T14:05:58Z")
“I’m not dead yet!” ---
**Author:** ![Recusant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/838e76/32.png) [@Recusant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Recusant)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/16 "2013-05-31T14:16:53Z")
“Wish you were here.” ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/17 "2013-05-31T14:33:22Z")
What? Life DOESN’T begin at fifty? ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/18 "2013-05-31T14:43:41Z")
I remember finding a book of collected odd epitaphs on tombstones in, I think, the Vacaville library. It was a big disappointment over all. The author’s idea of odd didn’t do much for me. The only one I remember is “Died Through Wearing Thin Shoes” on the grave of a twenty year old woman who had died in the middle ages. I immediately thought: This is what happens when a parent with an obsession gets to have the last word. A more modern one would be “Went Outside With Wet Hair.” I just want mine to be a ceramic statue of a dropped ice cream cone . . . soft serve. ---
**Author:** ![RobDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@RobDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobDog)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/19 "2013-05-31T14:46:36Z")
I told you I wasn’t well ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/20 "2013-05-31T15:32:38Z")
Studmuffin [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773.md?page=2)