# I Found My Epitaph **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 31, 2013, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773 "2013-05-31T05:43:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/21 "2013-05-31T15:41:45Z")
“The money is buried by the big oak tree in farmer Johns’ cow pasture.” Surely there can’t be more than one farmer John. ---
**Author:** ![Disheavel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@Disheavel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Disheavel)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/22 "2013-05-31T15:54:40Z")
“Not again.” I’m hoping to say that as my last words too. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/23 "2013-05-31T16:11:40Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > The only one I remember is “Died Through Wearing Thin Shoes” on the grave of a twenty year old woman who had died in the middle ages. I immediately thought: This is what happens when a parent with an obsession gets to have the last word. A more modern one would be “Went Outside With Wet Hair.” I found this interesting enough to look up. Really, died from shoes? It was actually 1839. Apparently, it was all the rage at the time to decry the rise in fashionable “thin shoes” as opposed to sturdy and warm “thick shoes”, which would prevent the woman from catching cold and dying of consumption. I had no idea shoes were so devastatingly important. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/24 "2013-05-31T16:49:23Z")
I’ve avoided finding my ideal epitaph, cause once you have it. . .well, you know. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/25 "2013-05-31T17:14:45Z")
See ya real soon! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/26 "2013-05-31T17:17:02Z")
May I please be excused? ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/27 "2013-05-31T17:44:05Z")
I saw something cool on the AIDS quilt. One quilt had the years of the person’s life, but instead of saying Born/Died it said Born/Reborn. I want that, and have it in my funeral instructions that that’s how it’s to be on my tombstone. But I love some of the ones upthread here, especially _“I’m going to try it. What could go wrong?”_ ---
**Author:** ![Zyanthia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Zyanthia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyanthia)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/28 "2013-05-31T18:16:32Z")
I’d like to quote Erkle, “Did I do that?” ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/29 "2013-05-31T18:19:10Z")
I can’t breathe down here, dig faster! ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/30 "2013-05-31T18:49:52Z")
“Died in distant land, of misadventure and folly.” I’m hoping this will be mine! ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/31 "2013-05-31T18:56:43Z")
> [@Cheesesteak](#): > > I found this interesting enough to look up. Really, died from shoes? > > It was actually 1839. Apparently, it was all the rage at the time to decry the rise in fashionable “thin shoes” as opposed to sturdy and warm “thick shoes”, which would prevent the woman from catching cold and dying of consumption. I had no idea shoes were so devastatingly important. That is cool! I was certainly off on the year, though. Mind like a steel sieve. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/32 "2013-05-31T20:28:42Z")
“I guess we didn’t think that through…” ---
**Author:** ![movingfinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@movingfinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/movingfinger)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/33 "2013-06-01T07:08:59Z")
An author whose name I cannot recall wanted to have his epitaph read: “I know everyone dies, but somehow I thought an exception would be made for me. Now what?” ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/34 "2013-06-01T08:42:06Z")
cannot recall where i read this: oh loosen up! you do not want to end up like your Aunt Mary, whose tombstone read, “Returned unopened.” ---
**Author:** ![Foggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foggy/32/1082_2.png) [@Foggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foggy)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/35 "2013-06-01T09:59:06Z")
I won’t have a tombstone, but if I did it would be my signature. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/36 "2013-06-01T10:55:07Z")
> [@RobDog](#): > > I told you I wasn’t well Dead man rips off famous comedian. Film at 11. ---
**Author:** ![RobDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@RobDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobDog)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/37 "2013-06-01T11:35:41Z")
Hey, I never said I invented it. …and I’m not dead yet. ---
**Author:** ![RobDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@RobDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobDog)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/38 "2013-06-01T11:39:10Z")
…in fact, I’m feeling a lot better. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/39 "2013-06-01T16:27:09Z")
Off the top,of my head , I’d have to choose “Off on her next adventure” ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773/40 "2013-06-01T22:18:59Z")
Mine should read Why are you walking around a cemetery reading tombstones? Don’t you have anything better to do? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-found-my-epitaph/659773.md?page=3)