# I fucking HATE email disclaimers **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 22, 2002, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-email-disclaimers/110317 "2002-05-22T15:44:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-email-disclaimers/110317/1 "2002-05-22T15:44:52Z")
You know when you get a one line email from someone, and beneath it several thousand automatically generated words of pseudo-legal bullshit? > [@](#): > > \*\*The information in this E-mail (which includes any files transmitted with it), is confidential and may also be legally privileged. It is intended for the addressee only. Access to this E-mail by anyone else is unauthorised. \*\* > _yeah that’s right, send it to someone whose company may or may not monitor all email traffic, how will you fucking know?_ > > **If you have received it in error, please destroy any copies and delete it from your system notifying the sender immediately.** > _Yeah, like I’m going to bother wasting MY time over YOUR stupidity_ > > **Any unauthorised use, dissemination, forwarding, printing or copying of this E-mail is prohibited.** > _Like I would want to - all your company’s missives are so fucking uninteresting_ > > \*\*E-mail communications are not secure \*\* > _so why the flying bejeezus fuck are you so slack as to risk the confidentiality and security of your business information on the honesty of strangers?_ > > \*\* and therefore [FUCKWIT COMPANY] does not accept legal responsibility for the contents of this message. Any views or opinions presented are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of [FUCKWIT COMPANY]. All messages may be monitored by [FUCKWIT COMPANY] \*\* > _so why bother with all this shit if you’re supposed to be checking your outgoing mail yourself?_ And here’s another piece of bandwidth-chugging server-cramming spam-text: > [@](#): > > **This e-mail is sent by the above named in their individual, non-business capacity and is not on behalf of [MultiNameFinancialConsultants]** > _Ah! thank you for enlightening me. I genuinely thought “I shagged him!” and “I was so wasted last night” was a new part of YourCompanysCorporateStrategy. Thank you for revealing to me it was a personal missive, not an official one from your CEO._ > > **[MultiNameFinancialConsultants] may monitor outgoing and incoming e-mails and other telecommunications on its e-mail and telecommunications systems.** > \*Eavesdroppers never hear any good. Besides which, where the hell else would you monitor “email and telecommunications” other than on “email and telecommunications sytems”? If you’re going to deliberately waste cyber-ink, at least do it with some finesse and subtlety. Poor show. \* > > * * * > > \*\*The information transmitted is intended only for the person or entity to which it is addressed and may contain confidential and/or privileged material. Any review, retransmission, dissemination or other use of, or taking of any action in reliance upon, this information by persons or entities other than the intended recipient is prohibited. \*\* > _Sorry - no speekee legal bollox_ > > **If you received this in error, please contact the sender and delete the material from any computer.** > _Actually, you know what? I WON’T. I think I will keep your confidential takeover plans to myself, mull over them for a while, maybe email them to [FuckedCompany.com](http://FuckedCompany.com), maybe just send them round to my email joke-group for a laugh._ Fuck I so hate this. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-email-disclaimers/110317/2 "2002-05-22T15:51:48Z")
* * * ## The information contained in this communication may be privileged and/or confidential and is intended only for the individual to whom it is addressed or agent responsible to deliver it to the intended recipient. If you have received this communication in error, please immediately notify us by telephone. I work for a law firm. I suspect they know what they are doing. Remind me not to send you any emails. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![stofsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@stofsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stofsky)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-email-disclaimers/110317/3 "2002-05-22T16:15:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by istara \* > \*\*You know when you get a one line email from someone, and beneath it several thousand automatically generated words of pseudo-legal bullshit? > \ \*\* My wife works for a health insurance company, and emails back and forth with providers several times a day, including potentially privileged information about the insured. The so-called bandwidth waste is something that keeps her company from being sued just in case she typos an email address…say, [jsmith@msn.com](mailto:jsmith@msn.com) as opposed to [jsmyth@msn.com](mailto:jsmyth@msn.com). Sorry it inconveniences you to have a bit extra added to the sig. I’ll have her quit her job immediately so that we don’t waste your bandwidth:rolleyes: Or then again, they could raise your health insurance premiums in order to settle law suits rather than make your hotmail load slower. Aww, hell, on preview I want to add this–those email addenda (pudenda, sex offenda?) wasted less internet bandwidth than your rant and the ensuing replies (including mine). ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-email-disclaimers/110317/4 "2002-05-22T16:30:03Z")
I too detest the vague threat that if you receive the mail in error, then you’re guilty of something. Bullshit - if you send me something in error I’m going to read it and enjoy. **Disclaimers are bandwidth theft!** [sub]Disclaimer: I was going to write a comedy disclaimer here, but I couldn’t be arsed.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Riboflavin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Riboflavin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riboflavin)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-email-disclaimers/110317/5 "2002-05-22T19:58:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by stofsky \* > My wife works for a health insurance company, and emails back and forth with providers several times a day, including potentially privileged information about the insured. The so-called bandwidth waste is something that keeps her company from being sued just in case she typos an email address…say, [jsmith@msn.com](mailto:jsmith@msn.com) as opposed to [jsmyth@msn.com](mailto:jsmyth@msn.com). I somehow doubt that a little disclaimer at the bottom (where it won’t even be read until the person has already read the rest) of an email would actually prevent the insurance company from being sued if they went and sent someone’s medical records off to unauthorized people. Can anyone provide any cites of cases where someone **actually** successfully defended against a lawsuit for releasing PII on the basis that they had a little disclaimer at the bottom of the information they were supposed to keep private? It sounds like those ‘not responsible for damages’ signs - it may prompt someone who doesn’t know about the law not to file a suit in the first place, but they don’t actually provide protection in court. Really, I find this kind of attitude from insurance companies pretty sickening but not suprising. ‘Oh, we don’t care about preventing some random Joe from seeing your medical records, but if we stick some magic words at the end we won’t get sued’. ---
**Author:** ![stofsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@stofsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stofsky)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-email-disclaimers/110317/6 "2002-05-22T20:54:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Riboflavin \* > \*\* > it may prompt someone who doesn’t know about the law not to file a suit in the first place, but they don’t actually provide protection in court. \*\* Well, then, it’s working, isn’t it? \*\* > [@](#): > > Really, I find this kind of attitude from insurance companies pretty sickening but not suprising. ‘Oh, we don’t care about preventing some random Joe from seeing your medical records, but if we stick some magic words at the end we won’t get sued’. \*\* But, Skippy, they do care about it. The “magic words” are to cover their asses from human error. I can’t speak for the bigwigs, but my wife and her colleagues are very aware of the confidentiality of patient records–but even the most careful person in the world fucks up now and then, as you should be able to witness to. But, really, let me know what company you work for, and I’ll be sure to attribute every fuck-up they make to you, and every corporate policy will be your doing. And G\_d help you if you were a security guard at Enron’s Denver office, because it’s all your fault. Oh, yeah, and Dubya and Cheney. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2002, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-email-disclaimers/110317/7 "2002-05-23T00:35:31Z")
It is rather stupid on my email lists, though, especially when arguing whether or not to plant Sarracenia oreophila in a cow pasture. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2002, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-email-disclaimers/110317/8 "2002-05-23T00:40:47Z")
My law firm puts a disclaimer on its e-mails not to threaten your ass but to cover ours. Then if we accidentally send you incriminating or sensitive materials, and you publish them in the paper, we can at least say we did our best to alert you that what you were doing was wrong and to ask you not to do it. Would that provide a 100% defense in the event of hugely stupid or negligent conduct? No. But it’s better than nothing. That said, our disclaimer is two or three sentences long. (Paraphrased: “This may be privileged. If it’s not intended for you, please tell us you got it by error and delete it.”) The sixty paragraph ones _are_ annoying, I agree. ---
**Author:** ![robinc308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@robinc308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robinc308)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2002, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-email-disclaimers/110317/9 "2002-05-23T00:50:59Z")
The best kind are the ones that are something along the lines of: > [@](#): > > The information contained in this email is confidential and only intended for the above named recipient. If have received this email in error, you might as well kill yourself now because we are going to do all sorts of creative and horrible things to you. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2002, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-email-disclaimers/110317/10 "2002-05-23T01:15:33Z")
**robin** - I’ve never bothered with a sig on my emails before, but may I use that? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2002, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-email-disclaimers/110317/11 "2002-05-23T01:28:22Z")
This e-mail cannot be reproduced without the expressed written consent of the National Football League. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2002, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-email-disclaimers/110317/12 "2002-05-23T01:34:37Z")
> [@](#): > > _I genuinely thought “I shagged him!” and “I was so wasted last night” was a new part of YourCompanysCorporateStrategy._ Well now, had this email come from my previous company, you would have been correct. ---
**Author:** ![RainbowDragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6a8cbe/32.png) [@RainbowDragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RainbowDragon)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2002, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-email-disclaimers/110317/13 "2002-05-23T14:14:40Z")
Email communications are by their very nature insecure. Basically it bounces from server to server and you have absolutely no idea where it may eventually end up. If an insurance company, law firm, or medical provider ever emailed me with what I deemed to be my personal and confidential information you better believe they would receive a complaint and loss of my business. When you consider how much we pay in insurance premiums, legal fees, and medical fees it definitely reflects poorly on companies that feel the need to avoid a 34-cent stamp and send out an email instead. HIPAA is definitely poised to destroy medical providers that leak private and confidential medical records (even unintentionally), so we can definitely expect a lot of tightening up in that regard. I would suspect that emailing medical information is a definite “NO NO” when it comes to HIPPA. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2002, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-email-disclaimers/110317/14 "2002-05-23T17:14:22Z")
I reckon the amount of money you save on stamps envelopes and a mail room is determined by the size of your mailing list. It does seem that it would be merely courteous to snail mail personal information, though. ---
**Author:** ![Riboflavin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Riboflavin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riboflavin)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-email-disclaimers/110317/15 "2002-05-24T10:27:26Z")
> [@](#): > > But, Skippy, they do care about it. Oh, BS. I work with companies on privacy issues, I’ve read through surveys with them on what they want from software to handle privacy issues, I’ve seen their desires put into the specs for software. What they care about is whether they can get sued, not whether they keep people’s personal information personal. I’d love to find a single publicly traded corporation that had ‘we’d like to avoid releasing information we shouldn’t’ as a goal instead of ‘we don’t want to get our asses sued off’ (I don’t doubt that there are small companies that actually have privacy concerns instead of lawsuit concrens). > [@](#): > > “The magic words” are to cover their asses from human error. Going to turn up a case of ‘the magic words’ helping win a lawsuit, or are you just going to keep asserting it? > [@](#): > > I can’t speak for the bigwigs, but my wife and her colleagues are very aware of the confidentiality of patient records- > -but even the most careful person in the world fucks up now and then, as you should be able to witness to. Then their procedures are broken and need to be fixed. If a company is tossing around personal information on unecrypted internet email without any checking on the recipient, they may be ‘aware’ of the confidentiality of patient records, but they’re obviously not concerned about it in the least. If they just did something as basic as encrypt the information in their emails, then the wrong person couldn’t even read the email! > [@](#): > > But, really, let me know what company you work for, and I’ll be sure to attribute every fuck-up they make to you, and every corporate policy will be your doing. And G\_d help you if you were a security guard at Enron’s Denver office, because it’s all your fault. Oh, yeah, and Dubya and Cheney. What prompted this bit? I didn’t say a word about your wife, I talked about ‘insurance companies’, and it should be clear to anyone with half a brain that I was talking about company policies in general and not your wife in particular. If you’re going to take something directed at gigantic companies personally, you should make use of your insurance company.