# I fucking hate Halloween Parties because I have to dress up **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 19, 2014, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776 "2014-10-19T06:35:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/1 "2014-10-19T06:35:29Z")
What can I go as? I hate this shit. Am I the only one? I am very comfortable being myself. I am not comfortable dressing up in a costume. I’ve never liked this shit. Thankfully I have two weeks to come up with something. Help? ---
**Author:** ![Boogly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Boogly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boogly)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/2 "2014-10-19T07:21:11Z")
sheet = ghost sheet and conical hat does NOT equal a ghost. Dress yourself as ebola to scare the hell outta everyone. ---
**Author:** ![Boogly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Boogly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boogly)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/3 "2014-10-19T07:25:22Z")
sheet = ghost sheet and conical hat does NOT equal a ghost. Dress yourself as ebola to scare the hell outta everyone. ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/4 "2014-10-19T08:27:52Z")
Simple Costumes for Guys who hate Dress Up. 1. Go to a Value Village /Sally Ann or better yet some hole in the wall thrift/charity shop. Buy a loud plaid jacket and a wide tie. Voila! You are Don Cherry. 2. Hockey Jersey, tape on glasses, black out some teeth. Fake bruises. Hanson Brother (Slapshot). 3. Charlie Brown Ghost. A bunch of holes in a bed sheet, a bag, and a rock inside it. 4. Take a black marker and a white t-shirt. “Write 404: Costume not Found” on it.a 5. Suit, tie, glasses. superman t-shirt underneath. Open to reveal superman crest when asked. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/5 "2014-10-19T08:31:26Z")
How about not going to the party at all and then afterwords tell everybody you went as the Invisible Man. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/6 "2014-10-19T09:23:14Z")
You say you have to dress up? So, dress up! A tux, tails, whatever is the fanciest suit you can find, put it on and wear it to the party. When you’re asked who you’re supposed to be, tell 'em you’re a seat filler at the Oscars. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/7 "2014-10-19T11:36:53Z")
We are expected to explain we are going as? Oops ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/8 "2014-10-19T12:17:09Z")
Have your gallbladder removed, or suffer a mild heart attack. While hospitalized, swipe a pair of scrubs. Worked for me. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/9 "2014-10-19T12:22:21Z")
Dress as you would normally but add sunglasses and hat pulled down low. When asked about your costume, explain you’re in a witness protection program. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/10 "2014-10-19T12:43:37Z")
If you can pull it off, [be Uncle Junior.](http://www.lifeinalliston.com/bejunior2.jpg) There is a guy who hangs out at a local Italian restaurant who is a spitting image of Corrado Soprano. He must be related to the owner, he’s always there. I’ve tried to work up the nerve to ask him to pose for a pic with us, but I’d feel awful if he didn’t realize and was embarrassed. ---
**Author:** ![brainstall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@brainstall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brainstall)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/11 "2014-10-19T12:47:02Z")
Dress entirely in grey. Introduce yourself as Earl. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/12 "2014-10-19T13:04:41Z")
Part your hair the other way and tell people you’re your evil twin from the mirror universe. A friend of mine has a naturally-occurring bleached streak in his mustache, just below his right nostril. He blackened it with a Sharpie and bleached a streak on the other side one year, and _nobody noticed._ Get a “Hi, my name is…” sticker and fill in the blank with: “Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” Grow your beard for a few days, then wear a hoodie with the hood up. Tell people you’re a movie star, between movies. Make up some fake movie titles. “Perhaps you’ve seen me in Tusker Rampage?” ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/13 "2014-10-19T13:07:26Z")
I really like some of these. The 404 not costume not found is clever, the Earl Grey is too. And I like the idea of renting a tux and saying that you where told to ‘dress up’. The easiest would be to put on a name tag. Just not with your name. You could go as ‘George’ (provide your name isn’t George) ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/14 "2014-10-19T13:14:46Z")
> [@brainstall](#): > > Dress entirely in grey. Introduce yourself as Earl. That only works if you’re hot. ---
**Author:** ![Chicago\_Faucet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chicago_faucet/32/13910_2.png) [@Chicago\_Faucet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chicago_Faucet)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/15 "2014-10-19T13:32:29Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > What can I go as? I hate this shit. Am I the only one? > > I am very comfortable being myself. I am not comfortable dressing up in a costume. I’ve never liked this shit. Thankfully I have two weeks to come up with something. > > Help? I’m exactly the same way. I hate wigs, and face paint, and the large sizes that some costumes take up - making me too uncomfortable and awkward to even have a good time. So, I’ve always figured out ways to dress simply. This year I’m wearing a slightly modified suit to go as The Joker as in the Alex Ross picture [here](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/12/HarleyqLG.jpg). I’m not even going to put anything in my hair. Previous years, I wore the same suit and went as other things, like a hit man, etc. ---
**Author:** ![breezman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4491bb/32.png) [@breezman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/breezman)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/16 "2014-10-19T14:05:35Z")
I don’t like dressing up for halloween for the same reasons that you mentioned. I have a charlie brown t-shirt, yellow with a black zig-zig, that I’ll wear so I can be charlie brown. It’s recognizable and it’s not far off from what I usually wear. I’m sure there are similar t-shirts or shirt/hat combinations that would work for other characters. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/17 "2014-10-19T14:17:21Z")
> [@Boogly](#): > > sheet = ghost > sheet and conical hat does NOT equal a ghost. > > Dress yourself as ebola to scare the hell outta everyone. > [@Boogly](#): > > sheet = ghost > sheet and conical hat does NOT equal a ghost. > > Dress yourself as ebola to scare the hell outta everyone. …or go as a temporal distortion… ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/18 "2014-10-19T14:30:41Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > What can I go as? I hate this shit. Am I the only one? > > I am very comfortable being myself. I am not comfortable dressing up in a costume. I’ve never liked this shit. Thankfully I have two weeks to come up with something. > > Help? the other option is to not go. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/19 "2014-10-19T14:32:29Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > You say you have to dress up? So, dress up! A tux, tails, whatever is the fanciest suit you can find, put it on and wear it to the party. When you’re asked who you’re supposed to be, tell 'em you’re a seat filler at the Oscars. Hold a sign with “sorry” on it. You’re a formal apology. I saw a t-shirt with grey paint swatches taped on it - 50 shades of grey. ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/20 "2014-10-19T14:36:01Z")
I’m with the OP here…I tend to go with very minimalist costumes. The New Years party I go to every year is a theme party. One year, it was your favorite TV/movie star. Knowing the hosts were big fans of the Cleveland Browns, I got a Browns shirt and a fake pair of Drew Carey style eye glasses. (I normally wear glasses anyway, so I just put my contacts in this time.) > [@kaylasdad99](#): > > You say you have to dress up? So, dress up! A tux, tails, whatever is the fanciest suit you can find, put it on and wear it to the party. When you’re asked who you’re supposed to be, tell 'em you’re a seat filler at the Oscars. One time, at a Pimps and Ho’s party, a friend of mine showed up as Fred Flinstone. Full costume, giant head, etc. It was great. He just didn’t care for the actual theme. 🙂 > [@brainstall](#): > > Dress entirely in grey. Introduce yourself as Earl. I like this…and since a lot of my friends like bad puns, I might actually use it one day. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776.md?page=2)