# I fucking hate Halloween Parties because I have to dress up **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 19, 2014, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776 "2014-10-19T06:35:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/21 "2014-10-19T14:37:12Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > the other option is to not go. Bingo. By the time I hit 30 I realized I didn’t enjoy this type of event and simply stopped going. 20 years later, I can’t tell you how much happiness that has brought me. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/22 "2014-10-19T14:45:30Z")
You could tape a bunch of leaves to your shirt and say you’re a big Leaf fan… ---
**Author:** ![MoonMoon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moonmoon/32/2959_2.png) [@MoonMoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoonMoon)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/23 "2014-10-19T14:52:17Z")
When I went to Halloween parties/events I would just dress in regular clothes and when asked what I was supposed to be I would reply, “A grown up.” I’m no fun hater, but I hate Halloween for the over 10 set. ---
**Author:** ![A\_Typical\_Moper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@A\_Typical\_Moper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A_Typical_Moper)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/24 "2014-10-19T15:09:09Z")
No you don’t. I often times show up with a name tag, and tell people I’m being myself for Halloween. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/25 "2014-10-19T15:43:16Z")
Dress all in black. “Hello. I’m Johnny Cash.” That said, I don’t dress up. If I’m invited to something where costumes are required, I find it easy enough to say “No, thank you.” ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/26 "2014-10-19T15:52:11Z")
> [@Boogly](#): > > Dress yourself as ebola to scare the hell outta everyone. I actually figured out how to do that this year. You can just wear white and draw the squigglies on with a sharpie. Hang a copy of the Ebola pic shown on the news around your neck. Easy. Or you can be one ebola microbe and make a tube of brown fabric, stuff with polyfill, and twist/sew as appropriate. It would be easy enough – you could use fabric glue if you can’t sew. You can attach the tube to a hoodie, or attach ties to tie around your waist and chest or neck. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/27 "2014-10-19T16:26:03Z")
On one halloween episode of The Office (US), Jim pinned three 3" black circles onto his white shirt and said he was “Three Hole Punch Jim”. Or you can just go in your usual garb and when asked, say “I’m a serial murderer. We look like regular people.” ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/28 "2014-10-19T16:43:13Z")
Hang a pan in front of your crotch: Peter Pan Hang 2 potatoes in front of your crotch: Meat and Potatoes ---
**Author:** ![LC\_Strawhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@LC\_Strawhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LC_Strawhouse)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/29 "2014-10-19T16:53:29Z")
Rob Ford? Thomas Mulcair? Luka Magnotta? Kathleen Wynne? Erik Karlsson? Justin Trudeau? Patrick Brazeau? PK Subban? ---
**Author:** ![LC\_Strawhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@LC\_Strawhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LC_Strawhouse)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/30 "2014-10-19T17:01:34Z")
Chris Hadfield ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/31 "2014-10-19T17:03:38Z")
> [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](#): > > Hold a sign with “sorry” on it. > > You’re a formal apology. > > I saw a t-shirt with grey paint swatches taped on it - 50 shades of grey. Draw a picture of a stamp on a piece of poster board. Hang around your neck. You are first class male. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/32 "2014-10-19T17:23:27Z")
Leaffan, don’t dress up. When you arrive, just say that you didn’t have time to put together a costume because you just got home from work. Be sure to act sincerely repentant and shake everyone’s hands. (But before doing that, rub some glow in the dark makeup into your palms.) ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/33 "2014-10-19T17:27:11Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > Dress all in black. “Hello. I’m Johnny Cash.” Probably better to pick someone who’s alive, if he’s to have any hope of fooling them. Richard Lewis, maybe, or Ricky Gervais. ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/34 "2014-10-19T18:02:55Z")
> [@RaftPeople](#): > > Hang 2 potatoes in front of your crotch: Meat and Potatoes Hang one potato in front of your crotch: a Dick-Tater ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/35 "2014-10-19T18:38:55Z")
> [@A\_Typical\_Moper](#): > > No you don’t. I often times show up with a name tag, and tell people I’m being myself for Halloween. Just saw this in one of the Addams Family movie: Morticia: Wednesday, where’s your costume? Wednesday: This is it. I’m a homicidal maniac - they look just like everyone else. Perhaps you could write that on one of those “Hello, my name is” badges from conventions. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/36 "2014-10-19T20:46:51Z")
Dress normal. When greeting folks, lean in quickly & either kiss them or lick their cheek depending on your bravery & gender preference(s). Then mention how nice it is to get back to the US from your recent Liberia trip. That’ll scare 'em a lot more than any stupid pirate or skeleton thingy. Genius. Sheer Genius I say. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/37 "2014-10-19T20:55:46Z")
The last time I wore a Hallowe’en costume, I went to the dollar store and bought some cheap-o plastic baby dolls. I dismembered the dolls and pinned the parts to an old shirt. Voila! I’m a pile of dead babies. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2014, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/38 "2014-10-20T02:30:54Z")
Some good suggestions guys! Keep 'em coming! ---
**Author:** ![as\_u\_wish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@as\_u\_wish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/as_u_wish)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2014, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/39 "2014-10-20T14:27:03Z")
My basic rule is any costume that takes no time, no money, isn’t cumbersome to wear, and involves a bad pun. For example, get some red construction paper. Cut out an S and two E’s. Get a friend to pin the two E’s to their shirt. Pin the S to yours. Then you can be the “Parting of the Red SEE…” Then all night other people are groaning as much about my costume as I am about the whole concept of costumes… ---
**Author:** ![oliviamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ee59a6/32.png) [@oliviamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oliviamia)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2014, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/40 "2014-10-20T15:29:08Z")
Go to a used clothing store and Grandma clothes along with giant panties and lipstick smeared all over your face - a cross between Phyliss diller and Ben Stiller = Ben Diller ! Fun Fun Fun ! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776.md?page=3)