# I fucking hate Halloween Parties because I have to dress up **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 19, 2014, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776 "2014-10-19T06:35:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2014, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/61 "2014-10-21T09:28:14Z")
> [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](#): > > One time, at a Pimps and Ho’s party Worst. Theme. Ever. I would have skipped this out of protest. If I couldn’t for some reason, I would have gone as a Hostess Ho-Ho. When I need a costume on the fly, I wear an old Army uniform. Not a dress uniform, BDUs. They are really comfortable, and I still have an old pair of boots. ---
**Author:** ![Double\_Foolscap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85e7bf/32.png) [@Double\_Foolscap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Double_Foolscap)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2014, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/62 "2014-10-21T09:43:20Z")
I’ve suddenly found myself invited to a costume-optional party on the 31st. My fiancée doesn’t like dressing up and I’m ambivalent as there’s no theme (the host has said that everybody could come dressed normally and be Sixth Sense ghosts if they wanted), but my suggestion if the mood takes us to dress up is that we go as each other. Pretty simple - fiancée wears one of my shirts, ties and waistcoats, and I wear her work clothes (high-vis vest, boots, muddy trousers). ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2014, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/63 "2014-10-21T12:16:41Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > When I saw this thread, I thought I had deja vu… I was right. **Leaffan** had a [thread about this last year too.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=703123) Thought it looked familiar. > > Myself, I love Halloween. Candy! Disguises! Candy! Parties with my friends! Candy! More candy! So, an anti-zombie thread. An anti-zombie _Halloween_ thread. Well played, **Leaffan.** Well played. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbershoot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbershoot/32/3428_2.png) [@Bumbershoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbershoot)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2014, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/64 "2014-10-21T12:26:25Z")
Several years ago my brother went to the women’s clothing dept. of a department store and bought a slip. He put it on and then attached a large label that said “Freud”. I think he said only one person got it. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2014, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/65 "2014-10-21T12:29:10Z")
> [@johnpost](#): > > go naked. keep asking people to guess who you are. > > you won’t have the same trouble next year. I know, your Adam and looking for Eve. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2014, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/66 "2014-10-21T12:30:18Z")
But really, put together a costume, stick it in the back of your closet, and take it out once a year. I did a magicians outfit that way. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2014, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/67 "2014-10-21T21:07:25Z")
> [@MoonMoon](#): > > When I went to Halloween parties/events I would just dress in regular clothes and when asked what I was supposed to be I would reply, “A grown up.” Not that I’ve actually done this… wear whatever you normally wear, plus a beret, say you’re an existentialist. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2014, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/68 "2014-10-21T22:49:11Z")
Do you have short, dark hair? Black Leather Jacket. Black T-Shirt. Black Pants. Black Boots. Sunglasses. Toy Gun. You’re The Terminator. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2014, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/69 "2014-10-21T22:56:09Z")
Do you have jeans and a plaid shirt? Buy a cowboy hat at the dollar store and you’re a cowboy. Or tape candy wrappers and a few popcorn kernels to your shirt, and go as a movie theater carpet. Or my husband once wore Groucho glasses, a jester hat, and a few other parts of costumes and a sign saying there’d been a mix up at the costume factory. (Yes, dear, some of the details are wrong, but you know what I mean.) ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2014, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/70 "2014-10-21T23:07:54Z")
That’s easy. Go as a clone of yourself. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2014, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/71 "2014-10-22T00:06:45Z")
Do what my friend did many years ago, although he did it out of necessity. He and other friends came here for a visit, and it happened it was at Halloween at a time I was invited to a party. The hosts said “No problem” when I asked if they could come along. Unfortunately, my friend flew in from a couple of states away, and the airlines lost his luggage, which included his very carefully planned costume. There was no way it would arrive in time for the party, so… He got a couple of sheets of white poster board and connected them with lengths of rope tied together to form a “sandwich board.” Using a thick magic marker, on the front he put two straight horizontal lines, separated by “Generic Costume” in large letters. On the back, he wrote an explanation of why he was wearing it. He then draped the assemblage over his shoulders and wore it, with no mask or any other costume element. You could substitute an “I hate fucking Halloween costumes” rant on the back. Admittedly, unless the population of your party is older, some may not get the Generic Costume reference. I don’t know if the white with black lines labeling is still done anymore on canned goods and other foods. But it was big at the time my friend came up with the idea. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2014, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/72 "2014-10-22T00:24:22Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > Not that I’ve actually done this… wear whatever you normally wear, plus a beret, say you’re an existentialist. A friend of mine wore a beret one year. He was French. He used his costume as an excuse to be amazingly rude (he doesn’t like French folks). He tasted the dip with his finger, grabbed ass, interrupted people who were talking, \*arrived \* pretty drunk and got worse. Yet it was funny on a performance art level. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2014, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/73 "2014-10-22T18:50:27Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > Not that I’ve actually done this… wear whatever you normally wear, plus a beret, say you’re an existentialist. Or if you make it a red beret, you can say you’re Walter Plinge. (may require that the party has a lot of Pratchett fans) ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2014, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/74 "2014-10-30T20:19:54Z")
You know what? I LOVE to dress up. But I never can think of anything. And also I just found out that I’m going. I also found out that there are people who have threatened to throw eggs at people who show up without a costume (bummer). I’m going as a utility pole. So here’s my plan. Black shoes, black tights, black leather skirt, black leather jacket. If I can find it, black leather hat (it is one of those slouch things). Lots more makeup than usual. Taped to my back with black duct tape, my tear-able puns list. (Like those things for diets and jobs you see on telephone poles.) Maybe a garage sale sign and a lost cat or two. Pretty lame, huh? Best I can do at short notice. at least it’s a costume that won’t look too bad with egg on it. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2014, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/75 "2014-10-30T21:43:01Z")
> [@johnpost](#): > > go naked. keep asking people to guess who you are. That’d be [The Emperor](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Emperor%27s_New_Clothes), of course. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/76 "2014-10-31T11:49:02Z")
I decided on my costume for tonight’s party. I have a Santa outfit. I bought it used to wear for Santarchy years ago. So I’m going as Bad Santa. I will use foul language and grab ass all night. Win/win! ---
**Author:** ![jacksparrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b9e5f3/32.png) [@jacksparrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jacksparrow)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2014, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/77 "2014-11-01T00:10:49Z")
ditto!! stupid freaking parties where people dress up? I don’t get it. It’s just an excuse for girls, who secretly want to be complete sluts, to dress up as some form of slut…be it “slutty butterfly” …or “slutty pirate”…or “slutty nurse”…or “slutty witch”. So annoyed with these stupid parties. I go without a costume. ---
**Author:** ![jacksparrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b9e5f3/32.png) [@jacksparrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jacksparrow)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2014, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/78 "2014-11-01T00:12:28Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > A friend of mine wore a beret one year. He was French. He used his costume as an excuse to be amazingly rude (he doesn’t like French folks). He tasted the dip with his finger, grabbed ass, interrupted people who were talking, \*arrived \* pretty drunk and got worse. Yet it was funny on a performance art level. Now this I would do!! In fact…no, I don’t own a beret. Damn! ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2014, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/79 "2014-11-01T00:55:50Z")
Not sure if this works in your locale. Sharpie + piece of paper + will work for food done ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2014, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776/80 "2014-11-01T01:41:16Z")
> [@jacksparrow](#): > > ditto!! stupid freaking parties where people dress up? I don’t get it. It’s just an excuse for girls, who secretly want to be complete sluts, to dress up as some form of slut…be it “slutty butterfly” …or “slutty pirate”…or “slutty nurse”…or “slutty witch”. So annoyed with these stupid parties. I go without a costume. I, for one, support using costume parties as an excuse for people to dress as slutty this or slutty that. There is a time and a place for just about everything, and a Halloween party is the perfect time and the perfect place for letting one’s inner slut out to play. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-halloween-parties-because-i-have-to-dress-up/701776.md?page=5)