# I fucking hate shorts with fake fucking dickholes! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 23, 2007, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-shorts-with-fake-fucking-dickholes/409117 "2007-06-23T13:28:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-shorts-with-fake-fucking-dickholes/409117/1 "2007-06-23T13:28:40Z")
…well, I pretty much said it in the title. Why on Earth do they instruct their sweatshops to sew in dick holes and then sew the fuckers shut? Are they sadists? Shouldn’t these irregulars be banished to poor countries where they wear Super Bowl Champion Buffalo Bills tshirts and the like? Women, when you buy shorts for your man, please take the time to make sure the dick hole isn’t fake. Thank you. Oh, and fuck, shit, piss, damn, sonofabitch, etc. ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-shorts-with-fake-fucking-dickholes/409117/2 "2007-06-23T13:32:43Z")
I feel your pain. I just bought 3 boxers with button fly’s but didn’t check to see that the buttons actually worked. They don’t. Good news is I can cut the buttons off and open up the fly. Fuckers ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-shorts-with-fake-fucking-dickholes/409117/3 "2007-06-23T13:54:56Z")
Most disturbing. I don’t ever recall buying boxers with such awful dickhole problems. But then, I usually just get the generic cotton kind. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-shorts-with-fake-fucking-dickholes/409117/4 "2007-06-23T14:54:33Z")
Who uses the hole in the first place? Much easier to pull down the top a bit and flop your unit over than try to unbutton the fly on your underwear. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-shorts-with-fake-fucking-dickholes/409117/5 "2007-06-23T14:58:08Z")
[QUOTE=An Arky] Women, when you buy shorts for your man, please take the time to make sure the dick hole isn’t fake. Thank you. Oh, and fuck, shit, piss, damn, sonofabitch, etc. [/QUOTE] Well, he seems real enough to me. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-shorts-with-fake-fucking-dickholes/409117/6 "2007-06-23T16:18:35Z")
[QUOTE=silenus] Who uses the hole in the first place? Much easier to pull down the top a bit and flop your unit over than try to unbutton the fly on your underwear. [/QUOTE] Depends (not the diaper!)…If the shorts in question aren’t elastic-waisted (like this latest abomination I just got), then it’s not. True, though, that with elastic-banded shorts, it’s easy enough to do that. But still, it’s the principal of the thing…there shouldn’t be a flap if there ain’t no gap! ---
**Author:** ![arseNal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@arseNal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/arseNal)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-shorts-with-fake-fucking-dickholes/409117/7 "2007-06-23T16:33:45Z")
Women’s boxers are often like that. Just sayin’. Not trying to imply you bought yourself some girl boxers or anything like that. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-shorts-with-fake-fucking-dickholes/409117/8 "2007-06-23T17:05:54Z")
**An Arky** wears panties! **An Arky** wears panties! (Not that there’s anything wrong with that…) ---
**Author:** ![Charger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df788c/32.png) [@Charger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charger)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-shorts-with-fake-fucking-dickholes/409117/9 "2007-06-23T17:14:24Z")
[QUOTE=silenus] Who uses the hole in the first place? Much easier to pull down the top a bit and flop your unit over than try to unbutton the fly on your underwear. [/QUOTE] And if it has a zipper, it’s a scary thing. Putting one’s dick through a zipper hole is about as unsettling as laying it across a railroad track. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-shorts-with-fake-fucking-dickholes/409117/10 "2007-06-23T17:17:08Z")
Plus, those zipper holes are so damn _small_… ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-shorts-with-fake-fucking-dickholes/409117/11 "2007-06-23T17:53:25Z")
So that’s what it’s called - the dickhole. Now I know. (I call my husband’s briefs his man-panties sometimes. It’s a wonder he doesn’t beat me more often. 😃 ) ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-shorts-with-fake-fucking-dickholes/409117/12 "2007-06-23T17:58:11Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator] **An Arky** wears panties! **An Arky** wears panties! (Not that there’s anything wrong with that…) [/QUOTE] Maybe not if you live in Nipples, MN. But generally men don’t wear panties. -well, not that I know of, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-shorts-with-fake-fucking-dickholes/409117/13 "2007-06-23T18:16:47Z")
I think they are sewed shut so they dont obstruct the dickfor. ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-shorts-with-fake-fucking-dickholes/409117/14 "2007-06-23T18:18:47Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] I think they are sewed shut so they dont obstruct the dickfor. [/QUOTE] 😕 Is this like a knock-knock joke? The dickfor what? ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-shorts-with-fake-fucking-dickholes/409117/15 "2007-06-23T18:23:17Z")
[QUOTE=Heffalump and Roo] Maybe not if you live in Nipples, MN. But generally men don’t wear panties… [/QUOTE] When you’re totally comfortable with your masculinity, it doesn’t bother you to be a little fabulous, every now and then. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-shorts-with-fake-fucking-dickholes/409117/16 "2007-06-23T18:26:24Z")
[QUOTE=An Arky] Depends (not the diaper!)…If the shorts in question aren’t elastic-waisted (like this latest abomination I just got), then it’s not. True, though, that with elastic-banded shorts, it’s easy enough to do that. [/QUOTE] Are you talking about underwear? If so, what sort of underwear doesn’t have an elastic waist, and what does it have instead? ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-shorts-with-fake-fucking-dickholes/409117/17 "2007-06-23T18:33:14Z")
[QUOTE=Heffalump and Roo] 😕 Is this like a knock-knock joke? The dickfor what? [/QUOTE] The dick for fucking! HAW HAW HAW. Thanks, I’ve been wanting to use that crappy joke for ages now! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Taber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ac91a4/32.png) [@Taber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taber)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-shorts-with-fake-fucking-dickholes/409117/18 "2007-06-23T18:34:47Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] I think they are sewed shut so they dont obstruct the dickfor. [/QUOTE] Ok, I’ll play along. What’s a dickfor? ---
**Author:** ![Taber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ac91a4/32.png) [@Taber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taber)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-shorts-with-fake-fucking-dickholes/409117/19 "2007-06-23T18:49:59Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] The dick for fucking! HAW HAW HAW. [/QUOTE] boo not waiting for the right setup hooray beer ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-shorts-with-fake-fucking-dickholes/409117/20 "2007-06-23T18:59:37Z")
[QUOTE=Taber] boo not waiting for the right setup hooray beer [/QUOTE] I didn’t think anyone would willingly play along. Anyway, how about some of that beer? 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-fucking-hate-shorts-with-fake-fucking-dickholes/409117.md?page=2)