# I, genius, have had an epiphany. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 4, 2008, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-genius-have-had-an-epiphany/432341 "2008-01-04T23:16:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Vlad\_Igor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Vlad\_Igor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vlad_Igor)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-genius-have-had-an-epiphany/432341/21 "2008-01-05T00:36:09Z")
Amateurs, all of you. The solution is that the glass is 50% occupied by a liquid. Now then, the Middle East thingy. It’s about the Isrealites vs. the Babylonians, right? Lessee… Oh yeah, **Mangeorge** , you’re two days early on the whole Epiphany thing, too. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-genius-have-had-an-epiphany/432341/22 "2008-01-05T00:38:11Z")
[QUOTE=nocturnal\_tick] And can you see the problem with that? [/QUOTE] When it came up on QI, the consensus was that it would just rearrange the violence into _love Marmite_ and _hate it_ factions instead of those currently existing. ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-genius-have-had-an-epiphany/432341/23 "2008-01-05T01:00:26Z")
[QUOTE=nocturnal\_tick] Marmite. I can’t remember where this came from originally by it was part of a think tank to solve the Arab/Israeli dispute. Apparently a lack of zinc produces aggressive behaviour and since marmite is packed full of the stuff it would stop the conflict altogether. Genius. [/QUOTE] Sounds good to me. Last idea I heard was to squirt them all with lard. ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-genius-have-had-an-epiphany/432341/24 "2008-01-05T01:05:44Z")
[QUOTE=Vlad/Igor] Amateurs, all of you. The solution is that the glass is 50% occupied by a liquid. Now then, the Middle East thingy. It’s about the Isrealites vs. the Babylonians, right? Lessee… Oh yeah, **Mangeorge** , you’re two days early on the whole Epiphany thing, too. [/QUOTE] I spoke of _little_ “e” epiphany. Those can be spontaneous, you see. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-genius-have-had-an-epiphany/432341/25 "2008-01-05T01:12:54Z")
[QUOTE=mangeorge] I spoke of _little_ “e” epiphany. Those can be spontaneous, you see. [/QUOTE] Yes, but if they’re premature, perhaps you should get that checked out. I mean, um, don’t worry about it, it happens to every man sometimes. Really. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-genius-have-had-an-epiphany/432341/26 "2008-01-05T01:34:26Z")
Actually, no part of the glass is empty, assuming the observation takes place in an atmosphere. ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-genius-have-had-an-epiphany/432341/27 "2008-01-05T01:40:59Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] Actually, no part of the glass is empty, assuming the observation takes place in an atmosphere. [/QUOTE] Actually, I once skimmed a paper about whether an empty vessel is actually empty. The author said no, but it’s okay to consider it so. I wonder what Cecil thinks. ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-genius-have-had-an-epiphany/432341/28 "2008-01-05T13:10:13Z")
Optimist: “the glass is half-full.” Pessimist: “the glass is half-empty.” Papa Bear: “Someone’s been drinking out of my glass!” ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-genius-have-had-an-epiphany/432341/29 "2008-01-05T14:59:48Z")
[QUOTE=Vlad/Igor] Amateurs, all of you. The solution is that the glass is 50% occupied by a liquid. [/QUOTE] Or perhaps 50% unoccupied. You do see the dilemma, don’t you? ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-genius-have-had-an-epiphany/432341/30 "2008-01-05T15:13:56Z")
We can’t be sure if the glass is half-empty or half-full until we determine whether the cat is dead. That’s Heisenberg. I think it is, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Bobotheoptimist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/919ad9/32.png) [@Bobotheoptimist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bobotheoptimist)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-genius-have-had-an-epiphany/432341/31 "2008-01-05T18:15:11Z")
Just like mine, it appears Schrödinger’s Cat drank out of his glass. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-genius-have-had-an-epiphany/432341/32 "2008-01-05T19:27:00Z")
[QUOTE=Der Trihs] Scientist : After being heated to 10,000 degrees Kelvin and the resulting plasma spectroscopically analyzed, it appears that the glass was composed of elements in these concentrations . . . [/QUOTE] [really geeky nitpick] It’s 10,000 Kelvins, not 10,000 degrees Kelvin. Kelvin is not the scale, but the unit itself. [/RGN] ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-genius-have-had-an-epiphany/432341/33 "2008-01-05T21:59:03Z")
[QUOTE=Captain Carrot] [really geeky nitpick] It’s 10,000 Kelvins, not 10,000 degrees Kelvin. Kelvin is not the scale, but the unit itself. [/RGN] [/QUOTE] That just extends the joke : Scientist 1 : “After being heated to 10,000 degrees Kelvin and the resulting plasma spectroscopically analyzed, it appears that the glass was composed of elements in these concentrations . . .” Scientist 2 : " It’s ‘10,000 Kelvins’, not ‘10,000 degrees Kelvin’ ! " Scientist 1 : “I’m the one that got the half million dollar grant to study half full glasses; I’ll call it what I damned well please.” ---
**Author:** ![Vlad\_Igor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Vlad\_Igor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vlad_Igor)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-genius-have-had-an-epiphany/432341/34 "2008-01-05T23:37:21Z")
[QUOTE=Chefguy] Or perhaps 50% unoccupied. You do see the dilemma, don’t you? [/QUOTE] But…but…I…you… aaaaaaAAAAARRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH! Great. Now I’m going to be up all night trying to come up with a work-around. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-genius-have-had-an-epiphany/432341/35 "2008-01-05T23:43:28Z")
[QUOTE=Der Trihs] That just extends the joke : Scientist 1 : “After being heated to 10,000 degrees Kelvin and the resulting plasma spectroscopically analyzed, it appears that the glass was composed of elements in these concentrations . . .” Scientist 2 : " It’s ‘10,000 Kelvins’, not ‘10,000 degrees Kelvin’ ! " Scientist 1 : “I’m the one that got the half million dollar grant to study half full glasses; I’ll call it what I damned well please.” [/QUOTE] Ah, but do you \*have \*a half million dollar grant, or are you \*lacking \*a full million dollar grant? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-genius-have-had-an-epiphany/432341/36 "2008-01-06T01:17:12Z")
[QUOTE=Nametag] Optimist: “the glass is half-full.” Pessimist: “the glass is half-empty.” Papa Bear: “Someone’s been drinking out of my glass!” [/QUOTE] Freud: It’s your mother’s fault. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-genius-have-had-an-epiphany/432341/37 "2008-01-06T01:28:14Z")
Which half? ---
**Author:** ![Glazer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a88e57/32.png) [@Glazer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glazer)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-genius-have-had-an-epiphany/432341/38 "2008-01-06T01:47:19Z")
> [@](#): > > Ah, but do you have a half million dollar grant, or are you lacking a full million dollar grant? Lacking the full million of course. Gee don’t you know anything about goverment grants? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-genius-have-had-an-epiphany/432341/39 "2008-01-06T02:06:40Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] Ah, but do you \*have \*a half million dollar grant, or are you \*lacking \*a full million dollar grant? 😃 [/QUOTE] I don’t know. I’ll need a grant to fund a study . . . ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-genius-have-had-an-epiphany/432341/40 "2008-01-06T02:07:34Z")
[QUOTE=Der Trihs] … Cynic : Half empty, half full, it’s still bought with the blood of the innocent. … [/QUOTE] cite? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-genius-have-had-an-epiphany/432341.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-genius-have-had-an-epiphany/432341.md?page=3)