# I get that I don't get why you don't go with the internet. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 26, 2012, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-get-that-i-dont-get-why-you-dont-go-with-the-internet/610688 "2012-01-26T06:27:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Wilson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@Wilson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wilson)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-get-that-i-dont-get-why-you-dont-go-with-the-internet/610688/41 "2012-01-26T18:28:48Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > I don’t get the internet either. That’s why I always make my posts here via carrier pigeon. So THAT’s why there is bird poop on my monitor… ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-get-that-i-dont-get-why-you-dont-go-with-the-internet/610688/42 "2012-01-26T18:35:50Z")
> [@PlainJain](#): > > Ok, take a deep breath. > On second thought maybe you’re right; fuck his boss for running his own company the way he wants. > 😉 > [@Acsenray](#): > > Yes, fuck him for running his own company the way he wants, when the way he wants to do it is fucking stupid. Or do you believe that the fact that you run a company magically makes you infallible? Ha! You are arguing and I bet you both still don’t yet know what it is you are arguing about. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-get-that-i-dont-get-why-you-dont-go-with-the-internet/610688/43 "2012-01-26T18:36:30Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > I don’t get the internet either. That’s why I always make my posts here via carrier pigeon. Presicely. All this new-fangled electrogizmos like the telegraph… Just because it’s new, doesn’t mean it’s better, dammit. I’ve had to use this here internet device ever since my last faithful courier on the Pony Express got shot in the back by “Bad Hoss” Higgens. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-get-that-i-dont-get-why-you-dont-go-with-the-internet/610688/44 "2012-01-26T18:43:30Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > I don’t get the internet either. That’s why I always make my posts here via carrier pigeon. Aren’t you afraid you’ll get a virus? Like bird flu or something. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-get-that-i-dont-get-why-you-dont-go-with-the-internet/610688/45 "2012-01-26T18:53:18Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > Aren’t you afraid you’ll get a virus? Like bird flu or something. Nah, the doc gave me some leeches to suck those bad humours right out. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-get-that-i-dont-get-why-you-dont-go-with-the-internet/610688/46 "2012-01-26T19:01:59Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > I don’t get the internet either. That’s why I always make my posts here via carrier pigeon. Have you gotten the IPv6 implementation yet ([RFC 6214](http://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc6214))? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-get-that-i-dont-get-why-you-dont-go-with-the-internet/610688/47 "2012-01-26T19:04:06Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > OK, after much deliberation I think I’ve figured it out. There’s a crucial word missing: the “one” referred to in the second paragraph is a printed catalog. > > There are two players: technophobic suburban boss, and techophobic mountain woman. > > He’s talking to the mountain woman on the phone and saying “sorry, I haven’t got a database I can access to tell you about our products”. > > Here’s the bit that requires the substitution I’ve worked out: > > “[Our company is] too new to have [**a catalog**] in print. And a new [catalog] would be instantly [obsolete], so she should check the [web]site. Which she couldn’t [because she doesn’t have the internet either]. I [can understand] why [someone living in the mountains] [doesn’t have the internet], [but I don’t understand it in my boss, who is] a suburban person half my age.” > > Simples! The NSA is always looking for people with a talent for cracking codes. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-get-that-i-dont-get-why-you-dont-go-with-the-internet/610688/48 "2012-01-26T19:07:15Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > The NSA is always looking for people with a talent for cracking codes. 🙂 An unmarked black van will be recruiting him shortly. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-get-that-i-dont-get-why-you-dont-go-with-the-internet/610688/49 "2012-01-26T19:09:38Z")
> [@Great\_Antibob](#): > > Have you gotten the IPv6 implementation yet ([RFC 6214](http://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc6214))? That document is way too long to attach to a pigeon’s foot. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-get-that-i-dont-get-why-you-dont-go-with-the-internet/610688/50 "2012-01-26T19:15:50Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > That document is way too long to attach to a pigeon’s foot. Nah. From [RFC1149](http://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc1149) (the original IPv4 Avian transmission scheme back on April 1, 1990): [QUOTE=RFC1149] The IP datagram is printed, on a small scroll of paper, in hexadecimal, with each octet separated by whitestuff and blackstuff. The scroll of paper is wrapped around one leg of the avian carrier. [/QUOTE] Also network geeks sometimes have too much time on their hands. As for the NSA, Fort Meade is a pit. Also kind of pricey to live there. I think a lot of workers commute in from Pennsylvania. That’s a heck of a drive each day. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-get-that-i-dont-get-why-you-dont-go-with-the-internet/610688/51 "2012-01-26T19:16:35Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > That document is way too long to attach to a pigeon’s foot. It’s more a simple question of weight ratios. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-get-that-i-dont-get-why-you-dont-go-with-the-internet/610688/52 "2012-01-26T19:18:12Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > It’s more a simple question of weight ratios. What’s the air speed velocity of an unladen pigeon? ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-get-that-i-dont-get-why-you-dont-go-with-the-internet/610688/53 "2012-01-26T19:26:56Z")
> [@Great\_Antibob](#): > > Have you gotten the IPv6 implementation yet ([RFC 6214](http://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc6214))? Yep - most notable in the document is this: > [@](#): > > Unfortunately the transmission elements specified by RFC 1149 are not generally stable enough for this and may become highly unstable in the presence of a cross-wind. That didn’t really tell me anything new, though. I already knew my pigeons have problems transmitting messages when they encounter a cross wind. ---
**Author:** ![Toucanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Toucanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toucanna)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-get-that-i-dont-get-why-you-dont-go-with-the-internet/610688/54 "2012-01-26T19:46:43Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > {snip} I already knew my pigeons have problems transmitting messages when they encounter a cross wind. You need to stop getting your pigeons from [Happy Breeze Farms](http://www.facebook.com/pages/Brummers-Happy-Breeze-Farm/97160969737). ================== Sent from my **TRS-80** via _CompuServe_ ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-get-that-i-dont-get-why-you-dont-go-with-the-internet/610688/55 "2012-01-26T21:45:56Z")
That explains why I keep getting my genome sequences via carrier ostrich. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-get-that-i-dont-get-why-you-dont-go-with-the-internet/610688/56 "2012-01-26T23:04:28Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > Or 2033 **dropzone** ’s time machine cannot travel back to 1991, so he cannot sell a computer (a 386sx no less) to a customer in the Sierra Nevada, instead he had to skip back to 1988, and sell her a fax machine. > > In that case, I’d advise him to go for the upsell. Sell her the plain paper fax. No, a customer of this importance can only be happy with rolls and rolls of thermal paper. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-get-that-i-dont-get-why-you-dont-go-with-the-internet/610688/57 "2012-01-26T23:28:31Z")
Without access to a modern, high-speed Internet connection, **dropzone** was forced to fall back on [RFC 1149](http://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc1149), which causes everything to get a bit garbled. Those carriers are famous for dropping packets. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-get-that-i-dont-get-why-you-dont-go-with-the-internet/610688/58 "2012-01-26T23:30:09Z")
I getting your internetz! ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2012, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-get-that-i-dont-get-why-you-dont-go-with-the-internet/610688/59 "2012-01-27T00:36:23Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > “[Our company is] too new to have [**a catalog**] in print. And a new [catalog] would be instantly [obsolete], so she should check the [web]site. Which she couldn’t [because she doesn’t have the internet either]. I [can understand] why [someone living in the mountains] [doesn’t have the internet], [but I don’t understand it in my boss, who is] a suburban person half my age.” Bravo! So we compromised and I don’t work there anymore because I wasn’t making any sales. Lemme see: I started on the phone Monday afternoon, coldcalling businesses from a list they bought that is several years old. Half of the “leads” were bogus, from California dope shops to porn shops\*, but I had to call them all. The primary customers were gift shops, which have been murdered by the recession, so a majority of them were out of business. Those that survived are mom ‘n’ pops that are hanging on by their fingernails. We had a new product and are a company they have never dealt with before, so they had to know I wasn’t phishing them. I gave them the pitch and the deal and the website and called them the next day, always finding they had been too busy to check it, being small business owners who had cut their staff. Selling to these people is a process of confidence building and I had as “much” as three and a half days to build it with no catalog or samples or any way of demonstrating we were a real company. And I was getting there with some. And paper CRM? What the fuck? ETA: Oh! And the fax rarely worked and the boss, when he deigned to email some potential customer, almost never got it to go through. - - I was SHOCKED to find that Sun Lovers of Central Florida is not a nudist camp ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2012, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-get-that-i-dont-get-why-you-dont-go-with-the-internet/610688/60 "2012-01-27T00:59:32Z")
ETA too late: Before I started Wife warned me not to surf the net while at work and to not delete my browser history because they’d think I was going to porn sites. Instead, I was trying to sell to pornographers. Surprisingly, they were not interested in carrying a line of teddy bears that weren’t, er, adaptable. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-get-that-i-dont-get-why-you-dont-go-with-the-internet/610688.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-get-that-i-dont-get-why-you-dont-go-with-the-internet/610688.md?page=4)