# I give Pepper Mill the first Five of the Twelve Days of Christmas. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 3, 2010, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-pepper-mill-the-first-five-of-the-twelve-days-of-christmas/523474 "2010-01-03T03:51:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2010, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-pepper-mill-the-first-five-of-the-twelve-days-of-christmas/523474/1 "2010-01-03T03:51:57Z")
Romantic Fool that I am, I wanted to give Pepper Mill gifts approximating the Days of Christmas. I stopped at Five because I ran out of time, and I didn’t want to repeat myself. I didn’t want her to get, say, cutouts of Six Geese A’Laying followed by cutouts of Seven Swans a Swimming, and so on. So on the First Day of Christmas [spoiler] Well, actually on Christmas Eve, which is when we exchange presents in my family. I bumped the days up by one. There was a long piece of white yarm with a tag with her name on it, and the number “ **1** ”. It lead to the Christmas Tree, in which she found a real pear hanging, below which was a wrapped package. This had a computer Ink Cartridge in it. She ate the pear for breakfast the next morning. [/spoiler] On the Second Day of Christmas she found a package at the breakfast table with her name on the tag, along with a numeral “2”. Inside were two novels by Harry Turtledove. On the Third Day of Christmas there was a small thin square package for her at breakfast, with her name on it and a “3”. Inside was a calendar. On the cover was a photograph of four chickens. One had been crossed out, and on the others were drawn striped shirts, berets, little pencil-thin moustaches, and, dangling from their beaks, cigarettes. In the background, of course, was a crudely drawn Eiffel Tower. On the Fourth Day of Christmas there was a box like the ones that they use for take-out Chinese Food, only colored with peppermint stripes. With, of course, her name and a “4”. Inside were four plastic Macaws, each with a tint telephone set (from doll house furniture sets) glued to their heads. On the Fifth Day of Christmas [spoiler] she found a small box were her name and a “5”. Inside, of course, were Five Gold Rings. Not real Gold, you understand. I ain’t _that_ rich. [/spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![Disheavel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@Disheavel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Disheavel)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2010, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-pepper-mill-the-first-five-of-the-twelve-days-of-christmas/523474/2 "2010-01-03T05:34:44Z")
Very creative, serious props. Did you run out of ideas for the other 7? ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2010, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-pepper-mill-the-first-five-of-the-twelve-days-of-christmas/523474/3 "2010-01-03T10:44:19Z")
I once gave my dad the brass from my m1 in a small branch of a fruit tree that had been spray painted white and had glitter added. Yup, I gave him a cartridge in a bare tree 😃 I also gave him the Smithsonian Jazz Collection, so he didn’t go without that year 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2010, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-pepper-mill-the-first-five-of-the-twelve-days-of-christmas/523474/4 "2010-01-03T14:00:31Z")
Wow. That’s seriously creative. And romantic, in a seriously geeky sort of way. **sniff** ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2010, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-pepper-mill-the-first-five-of-the-twelve-days-of-christmas/523474/5 "2010-01-03T14:05:07Z")
Awww… Very sweet. ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2010, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-pepper-mill-the-first-five-of-the-twelve-days-of-christmas/523474/6 "2010-01-03T17:21:30Z")
That, sir, is several (5?) (12?) (more?) kinds of awesome! ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2010, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-pepper-mill-the-first-five-of-the-twelve-days-of-christmas/523474/7 "2010-01-03T18:21:17Z")
Oh thanks a lot for posting that, **Cal.** Like Christmas gifts for the ladies weren’t hard enough for regular dudes already. Now, you’ve raised the bar to the point I may never get laid again. :mad:😛