# I give up. Someone explain the Flying Spaghetti Monster to me. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 15, 2005, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761 "2005-12-15T18:27:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/21 "2005-12-15T22:42:28Z")
Soooo…then Dr. Atkins is the antichrist? ---
**Author:** ![Just1Lurk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c0e974/32.png) [@Just1Lurk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just1Lurk)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/22 "2005-12-15T22:51:23Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **betenoir** : > Soooo…then Dr. Atkins is the antichrist? We need an applause smiley. **Betenoir** , you made my day! ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/23 "2005-12-16T00:46:59Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Heresy! > > Aged Romano. No, that’s only in the Romano Rite. In the Byzantine Rite, it’s feta. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/24 "2005-12-16T00:56:31Z")
We have a schism. Fortunately, we’ve been training the Pestoine and Garlicine Militant Orders for just such a…disagreement. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/25 "2005-12-16T00:56:29Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > As I’ve pointed out elsewhere, though, the popularity of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (AKA the Flying Ramen Monster, who must be the low-income interpretation of the concept) has put the poor Invisible Pink Unicorn on the Endangered Deities List. Naah, the IPU isn’t endangered, merely _Lesser-Spotted_ ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Side_of_the_Floyd)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/26 "2005-12-16T01:21:50Z")
> [@h.sapiens](#): > > Not to mention the Great Green Arkleseizure. Bless you! We must all prepare for the coming of the Great White Handkerchief. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/27 "2005-12-16T01:54:29Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > We have a schism. Fortunately, we’ve been training the Pestoine and Garlicine Militant Orders for just such a…disagreement. [Bluto]_Food fight!_[/Bluto] ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/28 "2005-12-16T02:40:44Z")
I am old school, the FSM is nothing compared to the IPU. IPU, IPU, How do we know she’s Pink? Why Faith of course. No she is not a talking horse but a Pink Unicorn that happens to be invisible. No her name is not faith, you just gotta have ‘faith’ to believe in the Great and Good Invisible [COLOR=Pink]Pink Unicorn [/COLOR] . Of course Kansas should be teaching about the FSM & IPU with ID. It is only fair. Special credit for the origin of man according to the Silmarillion. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/29 "2005-12-16T08:11:44Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Does he bless his flock by sprinkling freshly grated parmesan upon them? Cause that’d be so cool. Due to rather spotty tithing, he’s been forced to go with the stuff in the green can, but it’s okay if it’s been blessed first. ---
**Author:** ![Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harvey_The_Heavy)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/30 "2005-12-16T10:51:34Z")
> [@betenoir](#): > > Soooo…then Dr. Atkins is the antichrist? Christ who? Isn’t Marco Polo the FSM’s only begotten son, sent to live among us mortals? Or is it Captain Kidd? What type of sauce do I use for my baptism? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/31 "2005-12-16T13:38:56Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > No, that’s only in the Romano Rite. In the Byzantine Rite, it’s feta. Apostate! Heretic! Dukey Butt! Aldente Non Carborundum! ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/32 "2005-12-16T14:21:51Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > If my parents had given me such a bedtime story, I’d have called SCAN. I’ve never told them, they just ask. I’m normally too tired at bedtime to come up with something suitable to the title. Now, if any creative Doper wanted to _ghost_ it for me, I’d be more than happy to accomodate the little anklebiters. Any takers?\* \*This is a great opportunity to mess with the minds of the future of America, by proxy. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/33 "2005-12-16T14:23:22Z")
> [@betenoir](#): > > Soooo…then Dr. Atkins is the antichrist? No, no, no, this “christ” doesn’t come into this anywhere. Dr. Atkins is the _antipasto_. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/34 "2005-12-16T14:24:54Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > We have a schism. Fortunately, we’ve been training the Pestoine and Garlicine Militant Orders for just such a…disagreement. There’s no schism. This was all carefully orchestrated by the Bicarbonatti, descendants of the Alka of Seltzer and Bismuth de Pepto. It’s a conspiracy, I tel… :: whack :: ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/35 "2005-12-16T14:42:06Z")
Bah, FSM is nuthing. IPU is also most easily rendered God ever. Here is my picture of her: Did you like it? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/36 "2005-12-16T15:06:41Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Naah, the IPU isn’t endangered, merely _Lesser-Spotted_ True; the Lesser Spotted Invisible Pink Unicorn is quite common. It’s the Greater Spotted Invisible Pink Unicorn whose population is declining due (mainly) to habitat loss. Worshippers of the IPU must beware, lest they be led into temptation by a unicorn who fell from grace and reigns in hell: the [Avenging Unicorn](http://wishingfish.com/avgunicorn.html). ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/37 "2005-12-16T15:16:50Z")
> [@The Weird One](#): > > True; the Lesser Spotted Invisible Pink Unicorn is quite common. It’s the Greater Spotted Invisible Pink Unicorn whose population is declining due (mainly) to habitat loss. > > Worshippers of the IPU must beware, lest they be led into temptation by a unicorn who fell from grace and reigns in hell: the [Avenging Unicorn](http://wishingfish.com/avgunicorn.html). 😃😃😃 Spit take Smilies, where is the spit take Smilies, I love the Mime, I thought the Businessman was wearing a cross and was one of the anoying religious nuts that try to convert you on your doorstep. Are you sure the AU is fallen and not a servant of IPU? ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/38 "2005-12-16T15:44:42Z")
_sigh_ _twirls arrows_ Nobody worships _us_ anymore. Guess we’re just not good enough for all these modern-day religions. _mopes off_ ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/39 "2005-12-16T15:53:49Z")
I printed out a couple brochures and sabotaged the brochure receptacle at the office down the hall. Let’s see how long it takes them to notice! ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/40 "2005-12-16T16:16:31Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > _sigh_ > > _twirls arrows_ > > Nobody worships _us_ anymore. Guess we’re just not good enough for all these modern-day religions. > > _mopes off_ If you mean Aphrodite and the other Greek Gods, no I am afraid your worship is gone and now we only appreciate the aesthetics that you inspired. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761.md?page=3)