# I give up. Someone explain the Flying Spaghetti Monster to me. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 15, 2005, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761 "2005-12-15T18:27:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/41 "2005-12-16T16:19:14Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > Nobody worships _us_ anymore. Guess we’re just not good enough for all these modern-day religions. “Thou shalt have no graven images.” This is a Major Religion, pal, not a shop class! ;j ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/42 "2005-12-16T16:25:40Z")
> [@jrfranchi](#): > > If you mean Aphrodite and the other Greek Gods, no I am afraid your worship is gone and now we only appreciate the aesthetics that you inspired. That’s what I’m saying. Really, what happened to all the sacrifices? The altars? The doves, the roses, the young nubile virgins? _si-i-i-i-igh_ ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/43 "2005-12-16T16:29:19Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > About 5 years ago, when my kids were around five and three years old, if we drove on a highway ramp where you couldn’t see the ground anywhere near my kids would get all excited and exclaim, “We’re Flying in Spaghetti, we’re FLYING IN SPAGHETTI!!” and then giggle and laugh. Maybe they were on to something. > These same kids, now older, often ask for a bedtime story about “The Psychology of Frankfurters”. How came by these wee absurdist I’m not clear. [Psychology AND frankfurters](http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&db=PubMed&list_uids=11298993&dopt=Abstract) That’s the best I could do. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/44 "2005-12-16T16:35:06Z")
> [@FilmGeek](#): > > [Psychology AND frankfurters](http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&db=PubMed&list_uids=11298993&dopt=Abstract) > > That’s the best I could do. ☹ I can’t wait until this evening, when I tuck them cozy in their beds, and then regale them with tales of vagal-cephalic response. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/45 "2005-12-16T16:44:46Z")
> [@Ponder Stibbons](#): > > No, no, no, this “christ” doesn’t come into this anywhere. > > Dr. Atkins is the _antipasto_. _snort_ - that was just about perfect. ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/46 "2005-12-16T16:46:46Z")
> [@jrfranchi](#): > > Bah, FSM is nuthing. IPU is also most easily rendered God ever. > > Here is my picture of her: > > Did you like it? That’s not pink. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/47 "2005-12-16T16:50:58Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > That’s what I’m saying. Really, what happened to all the sacrifices? The altars? The doves, the roses, **the young nubile virgins**? > > _si-i-i-i-igh_ (my bolding) If we had been able to find “the young nubile virgins”, the last thing we would do is sacrifice them of course. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/48 "2005-12-16T16:52:40Z")
> [@Dag Otto](#): > > That’s not pink. Oops try this one then. P I N K Better? ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/49 "2005-12-16T16:53:18Z")
> [@Dag Otto](#): > > That’s not pink. If you have _faith_ that it is, then it is. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/50 "2005-12-16T17:10:49Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > the young nubile virgins? You mean Jewish Princesses? ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/51 "2005-12-16T17:45:14Z")
Nearly two hours, and several people have walked past the receptacle. Still, nobody’s noticed. I printed them on neon yellow paper too! Must be because it’s friday. Everyone’s zombified. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/52 "2005-12-16T18:09:00Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > Nearly two hours, and several people have walked past the receptacle. Still, nobody’s noticed. I printed them on neon yellow paper too! Must be because it’s friday. Everyone’s zombified. I hope you get to see a few reactions, from the right people it could be priceless. Let us know. I had to explain what the Babel Fish was to our Office’s most Religious Person and she had a dazed look when I was done with how this creature Disproved God’s existance. (I had recently showed her the Babel Fish site’s ability to translate Spanish to English for her) JIm ---
**Author:** ![Sal\_Ammoniac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Sal\_Ammoniac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sal_Ammoniac)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/53 "2005-12-16T18:31:18Z")
The sad thing is, it’s only a matter of time before people start taking the FSM seriously. Pretty soon we’ll have the dismal sight of some celebrity savaging an interviewer for suggesting that for some people, in certain circumstances, dried boxed spaghetti from the grocery store may be okay. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/54 "2005-12-16T18:37:42Z")
> [@Sal Ammoniac](#): > > Pretty soon we’ll have the dismal sight of some celebrity savaging an interviewer for suggesting that for some people, in certain circumstances, dried boxed spaghetti from the grocery store may be okay. What can I say? Our pasta is a powerful and vengeful pasta. Semolina be His name. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/55 "2005-12-16T18:39:29Z")
> [@Ponder Stibbons](#): > > Dr. Atkins is the _antipasto_. I don’t know whether I should congratulate you or push you into traffic. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/56 "2005-12-17T02:49:15Z")
[Behold!](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v654/MachTurtle/FSM.jpg) A representation of our Noodly Lord now graces the top of my scanner, to keep me close to him. You know those statues of the Virgin Mary that cry blood? My FSM cries olive oil sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/57 "2005-12-17T03:23:28Z")
You try to raise them to praise His Noodley Goodness…and they look so cute in their little eye patches in the pagents…and then, what happens…my only son came home one day and announced he was a…Jemima’s witness. It breaks a mother’s heart, I tell you. “Y’all want some pancakes?” ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/58 "2005-12-17T03:37:42Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > [Behold!](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v654/MachTurtle/FSM.jpg) A representation of our Noodly Lord now graces the top of my scanner, to keep me close to him. I don’t mean to seen irreverant as it were, but have ya’ll ever seen FSM and Cthulhu together at the same time? [http://www.emf.net/~estephen/cthulhu.gif](http://www.emf.net/~estephen/cthulhu.gif) ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761/59 "2005-12-17T03:42:05Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > Nobody worships _us_ anymore. Guess we’re just not good enough for all these modern-day religions. Hey, I’m worshipping you in my own way. It might not be a way anyone wants to hear about…but it’s a form of worship. 😉 :eek: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-give-up-someone-explain-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-to-me/335761.md?page=2)