# I got a letter from my ex-girlfriend....from prison! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 21, 2010, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-from-my-ex-girlfriend-from-prison/564968 "2010-12-21T16:56:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-from-my-ex-girlfriend-from-prison/564968/21 "2010-12-21T19:05:59Z")
Speaking from a wide latitude of experiences, particularly that of a prison physician, I’d say: Since you haven’t had an ongoing current relationship with her, it is best to **not** restart one with her now. YMMV, typical outcomes may be different from yours. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-from-my-ex-girlfriend-from-prison/564968/22 "2010-12-21T19:06:43Z")
> [@BobArrgh](#): > > Umm … from the OP … “we had a **torridly hot relationship** while it lasted” (emphasis mine). :eek: > > As noted above, run away, run away! Yes, I know, what I am saying that in general, unless the person is a blood relative, you should not respond to letters from prison. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-from-my-ex-girlfriend-from-prison/564968/23 "2010-12-21T19:16:17Z")
If you want to make her feel better see if you can figure a way to send her a letter from within another prison – “Yeah, me too…” ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-from-my-ex-girlfriend-from-prison/564968/24 "2010-12-21T19:31:32Z")
> [@Leon497](#): > > I just can’t imagine being afraid some hot cutie I knew is going to show up wanting sex, I’d love to have your problem. I mean if she did show it does not mean you are obligated to marry or anything you know. I assume you’ve never been in a relationship with a hot cutie with significant problems then. The hotness and cuteness get old real fast. I’m not sure I’d read evil intent into the letter, which might just be written to connect to people on the outside, but I’d still not answer. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-from-my-ex-girlfriend-from-prison/564968/25 "2010-12-21T19:33:13Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Said hot cutie is in prison for drug-related crime, apparently. When your personal shit starts disappearing because she is selling it to feed her habit and her scabby drug-addict friends start coming around (and stealing your shit) and her dealer starts leaning on you for the money she owes, you’ll cry yourself to sleep at night wishing you’d slammed that car door on your dick. Not to mention said hot cutie may not exactly be as hot and cute as you remember, after (say) 5 years of doing meth heavily. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-from-my-ex-girlfriend-from-prison/564968/26 "2010-12-21T20:09:11Z")
What does she look like? ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-from-my-ex-girlfriend-from-prison/564968/27 "2010-12-21T21:29:14Z")
[del]Is she hot?[/del] Just say no, bro. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-from-my-ex-girlfriend-from-prison/564968/28 "2010-12-21T21:48:03Z")
Get a PO Box. ---
**Author:** ![Jammer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df705f/32.png) [@Jammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jammer)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-from-my-ex-girlfriend-from-prison/564968/29 "2010-12-21T22:03:18Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > Just keep in mind - the only thing better than conjugal visit sex is escaped fugitive sex. Yeah, conjugal visit sex. That is happening! ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-from-my-ex-girlfriend-from-prison/564968/30 "2010-12-21T22:10:19Z")
Just to add. . . when I read this title, I heard it as “Ross” from “Friends.” Don’t know if you meant it that way. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-from-my-ex-girlfriend-from-prison/564968/31 "2010-12-21T22:30:08Z")
The aspect of incarceration isn’t really relevant: in the vast majority of cases, re-establishing contact with exes is a **bad idea**. \*You must not seek to add To what you have, what you once had; You have no right to share What you are with what you were. No one can have it all, That is forbidden. You must learn to choose between. One happy thing is every happy thing: Two, is as if they had never been.\* ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-from-my-ex-girlfriend-from-prison/564968/32 "2010-12-21T23:40:04Z")
You’re just as romantic as hell, aren’t you? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-from-my-ex-girlfriend-from-prison/564968/33 "2010-12-21T23:54:39Z")
A more charitable way of looking at it: Being in prison is probably boring as hell. Maybe she’s writing to everyone she used to know because she just wants a pen pal to pass the time. I definitely think it would not be a good idea to get too emotionally or financially involved with a convict, but it might not be bad to send her a letter trying to give her some encouragement to try to get her life back on track after she gets out. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-from-my-ex-girlfriend-from-prison/564968/34 "2010-12-22T00:20:48Z")
> [@lavenderviolet](#): > > A more charitable way of looking at it: Being in prison is probably boring as hell. Maybe she’s writing to everyone she used to know because she just wants a pen pal to pass the time. I definitely think it would not be a good idea to get too emotionally or financially involved with a convict, but it might not be bad to send her a letter trying to give her some encouragement to try to get her life back on track after she gets out. This sounds like the road to hell being paved with good intentions to me. Good Luck. I realize that this isn’t a poll, but I vote ‘No’, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-from-my-ex-girlfriend-from-prison/564968/35 "2010-12-22T00:30:04Z")
Prisoners can get very lonely, so any type of communication is often valued greatly. Letters are good as gold to some people that never get visits year after year. Especially at Christmas, it’s even worse. Whether you contact her is your choice, but play it safe, get a PO box, and write to her and only give her the PO box address. That is assuming she doesn’t know where you live now. ---
**Author:** ![Keith\_Berry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/22d042/32.png) [@Keith\_Berry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keith_Berry)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-from-my-ex-girlfriend-from-prison/564968/36 "2010-12-22T04:02:25Z")
Well…if it was just a question of her showing up wanting sex, I’d probably lose all sense and encourage her to do so once she’s released, though I have no idea what she looks like nowadays…it’s been five years. Was she a hot number back then? Words can’t describe. Did we have a great sex life? Don’t even get me started. Seriously though, I’d be more worried about my wallet disappearing or my car mysteriously vanishing than I would about sexual gratification. Even more seriously, I remember her when she was drug-free and quite the humorous ranconteur. I guess part of my problem is that I’m having trouble reconciling my “good” memories of her from previous years with the reality of what she’s most likely like now. I sit here and think, well, writing her a letter might not be a bad idea…but then I remember that I broke up with her for a reason. I was getting off of dope and moving on with my life and she had no interest whatsoever in joining me. The fact that she’s in prison for burglary shows she evidently kept up with her bad habits. Maybe she’s turning over a new leaf? Who knows. The one thing that the arrival of this letter has taught me is: I probably still have some residual feelings left for her. I just have to address those feelings responsibly. ---
**Author:** ![Dave\_Hartwick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@Dave\_Hartwick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dave_Hartwick)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-from-my-ex-girlfriend-from-prison/564968/37 "2010-12-22T04:28:26Z")
Lavendarviolet and Markxxx have the right of it IMO. People in jail tend to write a lot more letters than they do outside. Once she’s out she probably won’t contact you because she won’t have hours to fill up. Stamps don’t cost much. Send commissary money if you want but I’d wait and see if she asks for anything first. ---
**Author:** ![may\_be\_ignorant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c5a1d2/32.png) [@may\_be\_ignorant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/may_be_ignorant)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-from-my-ex-girlfriend-from-prison/564968/38 "2010-12-22T07:03:26Z")
Thats awesome. I’d probably ask her to leave me alone. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-from-my-ex-girlfriend-from-prison/564968.md?page=1)