# I got a letter today from the man that robbed me. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 11, 2000, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-today-from-the-man-that-robbed-me/36602 "2000-10-11T22:39:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-today-from-the-man-that-robbed-me/36602/1 "2000-10-11T22:39:57Z")
That’s right. James, who held me at knife point twice last February at the convenience where I worked, had to write me a letter. I hope he gets the help he needs. > [@](#): > > _James says:_\*\* > Dear Sara; > > I am writing this letter to you to apologize for any harm I caused you at Mr G’s last Febuary. I want you to know that it was not ment to be directed towards you at all. You were just an innocent victim. I am very sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking of at the time to do such a thing. I have never done such a thing like that in my life before. While there may be a couple of reasons which would account for such actions, there is no excuse for what I did. My behavior was way out of control. > > I am taking time in my life to identify and correct these problems so I never act like that again. I have been informed about how hard this has been on you. Please believe me when I say I’m sorry-everynight I think about what you must be going through and I pray you will get better. In your eyes you probably believe I am not worthy of such action, but I hope someday you can forgive me for my sins against you. > > I would like you also to know I am writing to Todd [my former boss] and Kathleen [my mom, who was with me the second time I was robbed] and apologizing to them. Sara I am very sorry-please believe me. > > Sincerely, > James. \*\* The soft side of me feels sorry for the guy. He has a lot of drug problems, and he suffers from depression. I guess all of me feels like that. I’m not really mad about it anymore, except that I loved my job but I can’t bring myself to ask about getting hired again. Oh well. I least I didn’t get stabbed. ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-today-from-the-man-that-robbed-me/36602/2 "2000-10-11T22:44:40Z")
Does this person know where you live? I really hope not, and that the letter was given to you by this person’s prison counselor or some intermediary. What a terrible experience to have to go through. ////Silver\_Fire\\ ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-today-from-the-man-that-robbed-me/36602/3 "2000-10-11T22:53:54Z")
No, he wrote it from in jail. The Department of Corrections sent it to me, so he doesn’t know where I live. (Although I couldn’t help but let the thought go through my mind. ::shudder:🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-today-from-the-man-that-robbed-me/36602/4 "2000-10-11T22:55:18Z")
I hope he will be there a long time. I’ll bet you still have nightmares. ---
**Author:** ![wireless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f14d63/32.png) [@wireless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wireless)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-today-from-the-man-that-robbed-me/36602/5 "2000-10-11T23:04:01Z")
It occured to me when reading this that maybe he’s in re-hab/AA and is at that “ask forgiveness of those you have wronged” step. ??? Whether he’s sincere or just going through the motions, I have no idea. I guess time will tell. For now, **SF** , I’d recommend just filing it away (mentally) and getting on with things (as you obviously are working to do). I’m glad he doesn’t know your address, because that \*would \*spook me. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-today-from-the-man-that-robbed-me/36602/6 "2000-10-11T23:08:38Z")
I thought that you had received a letter from your Senator. Boy, was I ever wrong! PS: Sorry to hear of your difficulties **Silver Fire**. :🤗: ---
**Author:** ![Wicked\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/2acd7d/32.png) [@Wicked\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wicked_Blue)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-today-from-the-man-that-robbed-me/36602/7 "2000-10-11T23:10:36Z")
That is too weird Silver. I was robbed at gunpoint nearly 6 years ago, and it bothers me to this day. Maybe if I was able to see that the jerk-offs who robbed me was sorry, I would feel a little better. Maybe he really is sorry, and realizing what he did to you, your mother and your boss will make him see you as real people with real feelings. Hopefully, that will keep him from doing it again to someone else. I hope you are able to put it behind you, and not let it haunt you for the rest of your life. If you need to talk about it, _believe me_, I know how you feel and would happily help in any way I could. Rose ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-today-from-the-man-that-robbed-me/36602/8 "2000-10-11T23:14:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by wireless \* > \*\*It occured to me when reading this that maybe he’s in re-hab/AA and is at that “ask forgiveness of those you have wronged” step. ??? > > Whether he’s sincere or just going through the motions, I have no idea. I guess time will tell. > > For now, **SF** , I’d recommend just filing it away (mentally) and getting on with things (as you obviously are working to do). I’m glad he doesn’t know your address, because that \*would \*spook me. \*\* FWIW, I’m a member of a 12-step organization. Basically, a Ninth Step (as this is called) is intended to make peace with yourself; what the recipient does is entirely up to them. I also know that I’ve written similar letters without really meaning to make any kind of formal amends. It does sound kinda like he’s doing this because he has to; to tell the nice drug counselor what the nice drug counselor wants to hear so that rehab won’t take forever. I hope for James’s sake that he means it now, or else, that he will “get it” at some point. Having a head full of the Steps and a body full of chemicals sucks. You always have the option of contacting the facility and requesting that you not be contacted by this inmate, directly or indirectly, again. From then on, any mail that is addressed to you will not be sent. Robin ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-today-from-the-man-that-robbed-me/36602/9 "2000-10-11T23:17:52Z")
It sounds sincere, and I think it’s great that he’s addressing what he’s done and his general behavior. Ya know, people tend to think that anyone who commits a violent or potentially violent crime is subhuman, heartless, and not worth spit, but it ain’t so. I feel a thread coming on… stoid ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-today-from-the-man-that-robbed-me/36602/10 "2000-10-11T23:34:16Z")
Ha, I did better! I actually got a check from the guy once. $52.00 enough for the speakers he took. I think that it was a prison check. Strange thing is, the guy belongs to a very rich local family. ---
**Author:** ![SILENT-BOB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@SILENT-BOB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SILENT-BOB)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-today-from-the-man-that-robbed-me/36602/11 "2000-10-11T23:44:58Z")
😕 :mad: ? ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-today-from-the-man-that-robbed-me/36602/12 "2000-10-11T23:50:05Z")
I am so impressed that you have been able to move beyond your anger at this guy. That must have been very hard. My advice (not that you asked 🙂 ) is that you accept the letter as sincere and use that idea to continue your growth. Staying bitter (which you clearly have not) would have only hurt you–not him. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-today-from-the-man-that-robbed-me/36602/13 "2000-10-11T23:57:06Z")
I’m not mad, BOB. I’m pretty much over the whole thing, except I’m afraid of walking alone in the dark. Anywhere, including inside my own house. I’m working on that. Blue, thank you. I’ll keep that in mind. 🙂 Stoidela, I don’t know how sincere the letter is. I’m hoping, for his sake, that it is. I really don’t think that he’ll ever do anything like this again. I’m sure that he never expected to get caught and I **know** he was really nervous when he came in. These were his first and second offenses. I only hope that he doesn’t add anymore. Thanks to everyone for your concern. ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-today-from-the-man-that-robbed-me/36602/14 "2000-10-11T23:57:09Z")
I never do this huggy thing, but: {{{{{{slvr}}}}} ---
**Author:** ![Avumede](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/avumede/32/7235_2.png) [@Avumede](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avumede)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-today-from-the-man-that-robbed-me/36602/15 "2000-10-12T00:13:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by wireless \* > It occured to me when reading this that maybe he’s in re-hab/AA and is at that “ask forgiveness of those you have wronged” step. ??? Maybe he’s Jewish and this was part of his pre-Yom Kippur repentance. Be sure and wish him good yontif! ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-today-from-the-man-that-robbed-me/36602/16 "2000-10-12T00:18:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Democritus \* > \*\*I never do this huggy thing, but: > {{{{{{slvr}}}}} \*\* Thanks! {{{{{Demo}}}}} 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![SILENT-BOB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@SILENT-BOB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SILENT-BOB)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-today-from-the-man-that-robbed-me/36602/17 "2000-10-12T00:24:45Z")
{{{{:)}}}} ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-today-from-the-man-that-robbed-me/36602/18 "2000-10-12T00:37:19Z")
I can’t pass up a chance to give SilverFire a hug, especially when she needs/deserves one: {{{{SilverFire}}}} ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-today-from-the-man-that-robbed-me/36602/19 "2000-10-12T01:21:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by handy \* > \*\* > Ha, I did better! I actually got a check from the guy once. $52.00 enough for the speakers he took. I think that it was a prison check. Strange thing is, the guy belongs to a very rich local family. \*\* \*\* handy\*\* FYI even people from the _right_ side of the tracks fuck up too. In fact, the thief probably stole from you just to prove to his parents that he didn’t need their money; he can get for himself. If it was a prison check you can be sure it was even harder to come by the money. The pay is like $18 a MONTH. \*\* silver fire \*\* true the guy may be going through the 12 steps; he probably was forced to go. But, just maybe, it’s possible that after sobering up and being forced to see how his actions impacted on the lives of all around him, he is truly sorry, remorseful and horrified by what he’s done. I’ve been in situations where I was wronged horribly, and was justifiably angry. I carried the anger around nurturing it and feeding it until it felt like a ten pound stone in my gut. I felt awful for a long time until I finally decided to forgive the persons who had wronged me. Not because they were NOT wrong, but because I couldn’t NOT forgive them. I chose to let it go. They remain wrong, but their acts are something they have to work out for themselves. A 12 step program is a good place to start. Work the steps and let the steps work. ---
**Author:** ![wevets](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9a140/32.png) [@wevets](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wevets)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-today-from-the-man-that-robbed-me/36602/20 "2000-10-12T04:02:24Z")
That’s much better than having some creep unrepentant and still out there robbing people. It sounds like you’re doing a pretty good job of getting on with your life if you’re no longer angry at this creep for what he did to you. I hope he really does regret his actions, and I hope you’re doing well after this terrible experience. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-letter-today-from-the-man-that-robbed-me/36602.md?page=2)