# I got a new job! (Ettiquette advice, please!) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 6, 2011, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-new-job-ettiquette-advice-please/588027 "2011-07-06T13:55:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2011, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-new-job-ettiquette-advice-please/588027/21 "2011-07-07T13:54:15Z")
> [@Agent\_Foxtrot](#): > > I got an email from the boss this morning asking me to come to the team’s weekly “huddle” today so I can be introduced. I start the job July 20th. Are bagels or donuts still a bad idea if I’ve already met everyone? No. In fact, the weekly huddle might be the perfect time to bring donuts. Either 1. If you’re comfortable with it, e-mail your boss back and say “Sure I can make it to the meeting today. Should I bring doughnuts?” , or 2. Scope things out today and the first couple of days when you start so you know what’s appropriate, and plan on bringing appropriate treats to the first huddle after you start. For dress, don’t go more than one step above the standard. If everyone wears ties, then a suit on your first day is OK, but if everyone is in collared shirts without ties, don’t go more dressy than a tie without jacket. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2011, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-new-job-ettiquette-advice-please/588027/22 "2011-07-07T14:09:25Z")
I have never gotten a bad vibe from someone bringing in donuts on their first day of work (although around here it’s just as likely to be Timbits a.k.a. donut holes). ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-new-job-ettiquette-advice-please/588027/23 "2011-07-08T05:42:48Z")
I would not do the doughnuts until after your first paycheck. Someone who showed up on their first day or to a training session with treats for everyone would definitely be looked upon as a suck-up who is trying to buy people’s friendship and goodwill. Yeah, sure, we’d all EAT them, but it starts you off with way too much attention being paid you.Just show up, do your job, and learn a little about the office dynamic before you start trying to get people to like you. ---
**Author:** ![SecondJudith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@SecondJudith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecondJudith)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-new-job-ettiquette-advice-please/588027/24 "2011-07-08T09:38:54Z")
> [@Agent\_Foxtrot](#): > > Also, when you start a new job, the unwritten rule is that you wait about 6 months before asking for time off. Is that true? That’s bonkers! ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-new-job-ettiquette-advice-please/588027/25 "2011-07-08T11:39:58Z")
> [@SecondJudith](#): > > Is that true? That’s bonkers! I don’t know if it’s quite that long, but there is an unwritten rule that you don’t ask right away. Heck, in some places, it’s a written rule: my sister was not allowed to ask for time off for 90 days after getting her new banking job. It’s the first time she’s missed church camp. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-new-job-ettiquette-advice-please/588027/26 "2011-07-08T12:09:57Z")
I’m pretty sure in some NZ jobs I had, my contract stated I wasn’t eligible for annual leave until I’d done six months service. ---
**Author:** ![SecondJudith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@SecondJudith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecondJudith)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-new-job-ettiquette-advice-please/588027/27 "2011-07-08T12:51:06Z")
That’s insane! Booking holidays is one of the first things I do when I’ve signed a contract and started work. What is the possible benefit of waiting until the last minute to book time off for a holiday (say) in seven months? ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-new-job-ettiquette-advice-please/588027/28 "2011-07-08T13:03:04Z")
> [@SecondJudith](#): > > That’s insane! Booking holidays is one of the first things I do when I’ve signed a contract and started work. What is the possible benefit of waiting until the last minute to book time off for a holiday (say) in seven months? I imagine you don’t live in the U.S. Here, there’s an idea that you’re supposed to love your new job so much, the idea of taking time off doesn’t even occur to you. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-new-job-ettiquette-advice-please/588027/29 "2011-07-08T13:05:10Z")
Things are generally different with a new job with a new employer (where you have no accumulated leave at the start), and a change of job with same employer (where you may have accumulated leave before starting in the new position). In the second case, I don’t see why there would be a problem in asking for leave on day one, though you would expect to have to fit into existing arrangements in the new section. In fact, in an extreme case you might have so much leave accumulated that you would lose it unless you took it very shortly after starting in the new position. Your new supervisor is just going to have to deal with that. ---
**Author:** ![SecondJudith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@SecondJudith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecondJudith)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-new-job-ettiquette-advice-please/588027/30 "2011-07-08T13:11:05Z")
I didn’t realise it was only for accumulated leave - I suppose that makes sense, although (tangent) to be honest I don’t understand how accumulated leave works with (presumably) legally mandated minimum holiday time. I don’t know what the legal minimum time in the US is, but if you get (say) 15 days off a year, how can the company control when you take them by calling them accumulated? Or is this only for non-salaried jobs? ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-new-job-ettiquette-advice-please/588027/31 "2011-07-08T15:01:14Z")
There is no legal minimum holiday time. Work does not have to give you any vacations at all, let alone 15 days a year (which my workplace doesn’t offer until you’ve been there for five years). ---
**Author:** ![SecondJudith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@SecondJudith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecondJudith)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-new-job-ettiquette-advice-please/588027/32 "2011-07-08T15:07:43Z")
> [@ENugent](#): > > There is no legal minimum holiday time. _What?_ And I was guessing low with 15 days! ☹ How do you go to weddings or family gatherings or go places? ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-new-job-ettiquette-advice-please/588027/33 "2011-07-08T15:48:07Z")
> [@SecondJudith](#): > > _What?_ And I was guessing low with 15 days! ☹ How do you go to weddings or family gatherings or go places? **SecondJudith** , may I inquire as to which country you live in? I have a feeling you live in Western Europe, whose leave policies are generally much more liberal than those in the United States. Yes, it sucks to be us, but there’s not much the average employee can do about it. ---
**Author:** ![SecondJudith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@SecondJudith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecondJudith)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-new-job-ettiquette-advice-please/588027/34 "2011-07-08T16:03:41Z")
Yes, I live in London. Sorry, I was just surprised. I don’t really understand why there isn’t a legal minimum leave in the US but I’ll stop hijacking the thread. ---
**Author:** ![redtail23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3e96dc/32.png) [@redtail23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/redtail23)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-new-job-ettiquette-advice-please/588027/35 "2011-07-08T16:47:03Z")
Because anyone who has a job ought to be _grateful_, by damn, and more than willing to get screwed over as often as the employer can figure out how. It’s not even the economy, although that makes it worse. That is seriously the attitude here. It’s bizarre. I’d vote for waiting on the food, until you get to know the place a bit. I wouldn’t really think anything bad about someone who brought goodies the first day, but our office runs more to fruit plates than doughnuts. I would think you were a suck-up if you showed up in a suit in our office. We do business casual, more to the casual side. (No jeans, but khakis and polos are common.) So go with the local culture, maybe dress up just a little bit. I’d probably wait a month or so and ask about vacation scheduling. (Here, you’d have already been shown the central calendar by then, and could look for yourself, although it’s doubtful anyone would have scheduled something that far out. New hires do have to work 6 months before they can take any paid leave.) It’s certainly not something I’d do in the first few days, but since you’re not really a new employee, those rules don’t apply to you. ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2011, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-new-job-ettiquette-advice-please/588027/36 "2011-07-11T17:28:20Z")
> [@SecondJudith](#): > > _What?_ And I was guessing low with 15 days! ☹ How do you go to weddings or family gatherings or go places? When I was a part-timer, I had to take unpaid leave to go take care of my mom while she was dying. Even though it was unpaid, I was only given permission to be gone for 14 days at a time. In my last job, it was frowned upon to be taking time off, even though you had six “sick days” to work with. Generally, if a job doesn’t give you paid time off, you take the pay cut if it’s that important and your boss is willing to let you go-- this is not an area where most people get flexibility unless you’re in a job where you’re not _the go-to person_ and salaried or a job where one can trade shifts with coworkers. Even then, it’s a matter of negotiation for any time off unless you’re _The Big Boss_. As for “first day” department transition, I’d hold off on the food until you get to know the department culture a little more; it’s tough predicting food preferences or allergies in any group. Definitely make sure to get to know your coworkers equally right off the bat, and dress closer to their departmental standard. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2011, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-new-job-ettiquette-advice-please/588027/37 "2011-07-11T20:10:42Z")
> [@beartato](#): > > Maybe on your first Friday (if you start your new job on a Monday or Tuesday or whatever), bring some food, throw out a general “Thanks to everyone for being so welcoming in my first week”, that sort of thing. Exactly my thoughts. Doing it on the first day is too much! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-a-new-job-ettiquette-advice-please/588027.md?page=1)