# I got engaged! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 11, 2005, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-engaged/303382 "2005-05-11T13:41:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-engaged/303382/1 "2005-05-11T13:41:27Z")
Last week I went on a trip with my SO, four days in Washington D.C. and two days in New York. On the third day, we were at dinner and he says, “Well, I was going to wait until we took our carriage ride on Saturday, but…will you marry me?” 😃 It turned out for the best that he decided to ask early, as I developed a migraine on Saturday and wound up barfing in Central Park, then passing out in a nearby shopping center, but other than that it was a magical time. We also picked up a sparkly souvenir in the diamond district. I don’t generally keep y’all up to speed on every little thing that happens to me, but it seems kind of strange that all kinds of people I have a mere nodding acquaintance with know about this, and you guys don’t. Of course, neither does my grandma at this point, so if you should chance to run into her, I’d appreciate if you don’t let the cat out of the bag yet! Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-engaged/303382/2 "2005-05-11T13:45:16Z")
**scurries off to call Dung Beetle’s grandma** Congrats! Are you planning a long engagement, or should we look for the wedding-planning Pit thread soon? ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-engaged/303382/3 "2005-05-11T14:10:12Z")
No date yet…I expect we’ll get around to it next year. I will definitely be coming here for advice about the wedding, because although I’ve been married before, I have only the vaguest idea of how to go about it. (Last time I eloped.) In fact, I had to ask some really basic questions about the engagement process! Apparently the first person gets a ring, and this ring traditionally has a diamond in it. Then you go back and buy the first person another ring and a matching one for the second person. There will definitely be a ceremony of some sort. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-engaged/303382/4 "2005-05-11T14:26:42Z")
Ooooh… that sounds romantic! Congrats! Your first wedding apparently was a kinda low-profile event; do you plan to make this one more elaborate? If so, why? I’m asking, because most of my “milestones” in life (graduation, engagement, anniversaries etc) I either celebrated extremely low-profile or not at all. Lately I wonder about that. Was I wise not to bother with all the hassle ? Content being all that matters, no? Or… did I cheat myself out of a wonderful experience, when I refrained from fully immersing myself in the transition, the tradition, and symbolism of it all? ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-engaged/303382/5 "2005-05-11T14:32:09Z")
I’m wondering that myself, **Maastricht**. I have a tendency to keep things low-key too, but my mom and my SO both seem to have their hearts set on doing things traditionally, so I guess I’ll give it a go. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-engaged/303382/6 "2005-05-11T14:35:00Z")
Congrats **Dung Beetle**! Throw a big party. Invite Dopers. (Hint… I’m in GA so I ain’t far) Open bar. DJ. Prime Rib Dinner. What? Oh… I’m not supposed to congratulate the bride to be? Ok, then, Best Wishes **Dung Beetle**! Still, throw the party. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-engaged/303382/7 "2005-05-11T14:50:43Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Oh… I’m not supposed to congratulate the bride to be? 😕 See, I have never heard this before! Who makes up these rules? _writes slowly, in big straggly letters, P-A-R-T-Y_ ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-engaged/303382/8 "2005-05-11T15:05:13Z")
> [@Dung Beetle](#): > > 😕 See, I have never heard this before! Who makes up these rules? > > _writes slowly, in big straggly letters, P-A-R-T-Y_ My mother makes up the rules. Well, she’s the one that told me that. \*\* P - A - R - T - Y!!!\*\* ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-engaged/303382/9 "2005-05-11T15:11:34Z")
That’s great news. Congrats! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-engaged/303382/10 "2005-05-11T21:12:21Z")
Congrats! I notice in your profile that you like to read cats. What fascinating hobby does your SO have? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Penchan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/74df32/32.png) [@Penchan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penchan)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-engaged/303382/11 "2005-05-11T22:47:52Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Oh… I’m not supposed to congratulate the bride to be? Ok, then, Best Wishes **Dung Beetle**! > > Still, throw the party. 😃 I found out that you’re supposed to congratulate the groom and give best wishes to the bride from Gilmore Girls. Ah the things you learn on tv… ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-engaged/303382/12 "2005-05-11T23:09:27Z")
Tradition be damned! Congrats, **DungBeetle**!! ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-engaged/303382/13 "2005-05-12T10:45:35Z")
I understand from years gone by that you don’t congratulate the bride as it sounds too much like you have snaffled a prize. I hope it is tru in your case Mrs Dung Beetle. Keep us informed. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-engaged/303382/14 "2005-05-12T11:28:29Z")
> [@Penchan](#): > > I found out that you’re supposed to congratulate the groom and give best wishes to the bride from Gilmore Girls. Ah the things you learn on tv… Ah yes, lessons in etiquette from Emily Gilmore. I am a huge fan of the “Gilmore Girls.” It is one of my secret shames. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-engaged/303382/15 "2005-05-12T12:01:02Z")
> [@ouryL](#): > > Congrats! > > I notice in your profile that you like to read cats. What fascinating hobby does your SO have? 😃 He writes them, of course! 🙂 Thank you, everyone, for the kind words. I think I _have_ snaffled a prize. ---
**Author:** ![Arwin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/51bf81/32.png) [@Arwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arwin)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-engaged/303382/16 "2005-05-13T16:29:22Z")
😃 > [@swampbear](#): > > Ah yes, lessons in etiquette from Emily Gilmore. I am a huge fan of the “Gilmore Girls.” It is one of my secret shames. Secret shame? I for one, outed myself after seeing just one single episode. 😃 (But then, I have no shame, at best I occasionally borrow that of others). Congrats, Dung Beetle! And good luck … The best reason I’ve always seen against a big wedding is the amount of stress and the waste of money. But I a good party goes a long way to balance out those two downsides nicely. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-engaged/303382/17 "2005-05-13T18:52:26Z")
Congratulations, **Dung Beetle**! Here’s to a wonderful wedding and an amazing life together! _toasts_ ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-engaged/303382/18 "2005-05-13T19:22:07Z")
Thank you, thank you. I told Grandma last night and she congratulated me…cautiously. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-engaged/303382/19 "2005-05-13T19:48:13Z")
Congratulations. Wishing you both a lifetime of joy and happiness.