# I got "felt up" on my way to work this morning... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 26, 2011, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-felt-up-on-my-way-to-work-this-morning/594212 "2011-08-26T20:14:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![rostfrei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7bcc69/32.png) [@rostfrei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rostfrei)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2011, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-felt-up-on-my-way-to-work-this-morning/594212/41 "2011-08-27T16:54:55Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > Sorry to hear that happened to you. Is the area you were sitting a known cruising spot, or near one? As far as I know, it’s not a cruisy area. There is a gay bar about 4 blocks away, but this happened at 7:30 in the morning. Around here, bars close at 2am, and re-open at 2 or 3pm. I’m guessing on the opening time, could be a bit earlier. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2011, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-felt-up-on-my-way-to-work-this-morning/594212/42 "2011-08-27T17:08:19Z")
> [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](#): > > (emphasis mine) > > [pedantic nitpick] > > PLEASE let’s not allow this misuse of “jive” for “jibe” get out of hand. It’s already ghastly enough that we’re subjected to the whole “loose” / “lose” thing; let’s try to nip the “jive” / “jibe” problem in the bud. OK? > > [/pedantic nitpick] ☹ I was trying to be funny, and…apparently failed. Two Many Cats was talking about the 70s, a decade known for jive-talking. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2011, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-felt-up-on-my-way-to-work-this-morning/594212/43 "2011-08-27T18:42:46Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > Ive been groped by gay dudes and it can be annoying, but it’s just not that big a deal. I’ve learned that a grope from a gay dude is like a wave hello. There is no malice intended. It’s a compliment basically. That’s really insulting. Its not “a wave hello”, it’s assault. I don’t know what gay guys you know but among my circle of friends grabbing a strangers crotch is considered wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Lo-Slung\_Denim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f6c823/32.png) [@Lo-Slung\_Denim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lo-Slung_Denim)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2011, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-felt-up-on-my-way-to-work-this-morning/594212/44 "2011-08-27T19:14:30Z")
> [@pancakes3](#): > > as for getting handsy with women? when boozed up and on the dancefloor sure. i put my paws on hips, butts, and even a breast or two. Uninvited? Not OK. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2011, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-felt-up-on-my-way-to-work-this-morning/594212/45 "2011-08-27T19:23:58Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > That’s really insulting. Its not “a wave hello”, it’s assault. I don’t know what gay guys you know but among my circle of friends grabbing a strangers crotch is considered wrong. You don’t think gay guys are more handsy with each other another guys? I didn’t mean to be insulting and of course not all gay guys are like this. But it’s most definitely not assault. That is ridonk. ---
**Author:** ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2011, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-felt-up-on-my-way-to-work-this-morning/594212/46 "2011-08-27T20:05:29Z")
I’ve been unwelcomely groped four times in my life, all when I was younger and too stupid to stand up for myself. Once was by a policeman giving me a speeding ticket! He leaned in the car window and kept rubbing his knuckles across my (rather substantial) breasts. I was too stunned (and afraid) to do anything about it. ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2011, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-felt-up-on-my-way-to-work-this-morning/594212/47 "2011-08-27T20:35:16Z")
> [@Lo-Slung\_Denim](#): > > Uninvited? > > Not OK. how would you categorize uninvited? ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-felt-up-on-my-way-to-work-this-morning/594212/48 "2011-08-29T19:44:13Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > I don’t think guys getting groped is that big a deal. Hell most would welcome it if they thought the person was hot. Well, I’m not a guy, and of course there’s the stereotype of all guys wanting it ALL THE TIME… but I suspect that for rather a LOT of guys, most would NOT welcome it… especially in such an inappropriate situation. Had the OP related this as occuring while out at a bar / dance / party, the behavior - while quite possibly unwanted - wouldn’t have been as out of line. Still - if I were to go to a party, even if people were hooking up at the event, I wouldn’t expect someone to grab my private bits under the pretext of looking at my necklace or something. Yick. At least chat me up, buy me a drink, make a more “normal” pass at me to see if I was receptive. Hand going directly from necklace to boob? Oh hell no. OP - the guy sounds fairly creepy. I suspect you’d get laughed at if you reported it to the police, unfortunately, and there might not be a lot they’d be able to do. Similarly with a woman who’d had an unwanted tit-grab… but it might be taken more seriously There’s the double-standard working in reverse (women can be molested, men can’t…). You might still consider doing so, however. I would definitely contact the restaurant, however. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-felt-up-on-my-way-to-work-this-morning/594212/49 "2011-08-29T19:48:02Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > You have the menu still. I imagine you remember what he looks like. Go to the deli and tell them what he was doing. You don’t have to press charges, but you could at least get his ass fired. He’s giving the business really bad PR, and I doubt that “sexually assaulty” is an image they want to have. Maybe salty, but not assaulty. Heh - yeah, not quite the sort of spice they want associated to their food. Of course, then he’d face the same situation women do in that situation: the creep can have a pretty good guess as to who ratted him out, KNOWS WHERE HE WORKS, and knows about when to find him there. :(. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-felt-up-on-my-way-to-work-this-morning/594212/50 "2011-08-29T19:56:22Z")
I had a gastric bypass a few years back, and I took to long distance walking on a beach for my exercise. One old guy approached me (emphasis on old), and we started talking. Being the friendly sort, I didn’t think this was out of the ordinary. After a few minutes, his hand went straight for my daddy bits and gave me a good groping. Rather politely and insistently, I pushed his hand away and said I wasn’t interested. I wasn’t upset by the incident, rather I was flattered a bit that I had lost enough weight that someone considered me attractive. I did have a rather bad run of attracting gay guys instead of women, though. ---
**Author:** ![Hero\_From\_Sector\_7G](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@Hero\_From\_Sector\_7G](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hero_From_Sector_7G)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-felt-up-on-my-way-to-work-this-morning/594212/51 "2011-08-29T20:10:26Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > Perhaps you aren’t attractive to the average groper?. What is this shit? “Sorry girl, yo’ opinion ain’t valid cuz you UGLY!” ---
**Author:** ![IaMoDiNaRy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/cc9497/32.png) [@IaMoDiNaRy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IaMoDiNaRy)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-felt-up-on-my-way-to-work-this-morning/594212/52 "2011-08-29T20:26:08Z")
Anybody here ever visited this web site? [http://www.ihollaback.org/](http://www.ihollaback.org/) I saw the web site profiled on a news program a while back and I looked it up… It’s a place where you can post your story, real stories of women and men being groped, leered at and abused by strangers on the street everyday. Stories are posted from just about every state in the US. Some of the victims even post photos of the creeps who groped them… ---
**Author:** ![IaMoDiNaRy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/cc9497/32.png) [@IaMoDiNaRy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IaMoDiNaRy)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-felt-up-on-my-way-to-work-this-morning/594212/53 "2011-08-29T20:27:50Z")
This post reminded me of something … Anybody here ever visited this web site? [http://www.ihollaback.org/](http://www.ihollaback.org/) I saw the web site profiled on a news program a while back and I looked it up… It’s a place where you can post your story, real stories of women and men being groped, leered at and abused by strangers on the street everyday. Stories are posted from just about every state in the US. Some of the victims even post photos of the creeps who groped them… ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-felt-up-on-my-way-to-work-this-morning/594212/54 "2011-08-29T21:03:41Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > I’m willing to bet horny guys haven’t changed that much since the seventies and eighties. > [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > I think my experience was typical, for the time. Like I said, this went on about twenty to thirty years ago…If this sort of thing is happening with less frequency now, I applaud our feminist progress. Trust me, it’s different now. Your sex isn’t the only one capable of evolving, y’know. Men my age are significantly less grabby. > [@Antinor01](#): > > Why on earth do people think it’s ok to touch someone like that without permission? Simple: They think they have permission. > [@Lo-Slung\_Denim](#): > > Uninvited? I don’t know, was he? That’s the reason I put groping waaaay below rape and sexual assaults that deserve the name “assault”. It’s not always clear when you’ve got permission. In a parking lot on the way to work? Usually not. Grinding on a dance floor? The ass is probably fair game, at least. Sometimes it’s an honest mistake. That being said, I have been groped by gay men _and_ women against my will. It’s not fun. You feel a little shame and a little dirty. It doesn’t have lasting effects, but it’ll ruin your night all the same. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-felt-up-on-my-way-to-work-this-morning/594212.md?page=2)