# I got my settlement **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 19, 2011, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-my-settlement/603463 "2011-11-19T16:43:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-my-settlement/603463/21 "2011-11-20T05:03:45Z")
> [@Vicullum](#): > > What was it they say about putting all the lawyers on the bottom of the ocean? Something about the sharks not biting them because of Professional Courtesy. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbershoot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbershoot/32/3428_2.png) [@Bumbershoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbershoot)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-my-settlement/603463/22 "2011-11-20T12:24:39Z")
Sell it on eBay. ---
**Author:** ![purple\_haze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/db5fbb/32.png) [@purple\_haze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purple_haze)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-my-settlement/603463/23 "2011-11-20T12:32:11Z")
Around here you could practically buy a house. Hi neighbor! ---
**Author:** ![mikeargo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/858c86/32.png) [@mikeargo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mikeargo)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-my-settlement/603463/24 "2011-11-20T12:44:01Z")
Hey, I’ve been buying and selling on ebay for ten years (my rating is only 250, though). Where’s my settlement? ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-my-settlement/603463/25 "2011-11-20T14:29:17Z")
Make a limited series of framed and numbered copies to sell on e-bay. Later, watch the bid frenzy for the original. ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-my-settlement/603463/26 "2011-11-20T14:42:17Z")
I’ve just discovered we’re distantly related and I’m coming to camp on your lawn until I get my share! ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-my-settlement/603463/27 "2011-11-20T15:07:20Z")
This is obviously your lucky day, my friend! Time to play the lottery! Could it be any clearer? What are you waiting for? ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-my-settlement/603463/28 "2011-11-20T15:18:50Z")
You only got $1.89? $18.01? Ha! I got $18.04! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-my-settlement/603463/29 "2011-11-20T15:22:03Z")
> [@Bumbershoot](#): > > Sell it on eBay. How meta. I like it. ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-my-settlement/603463/30 "2011-11-20T23:54:41Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Apparently I was party to a class action lawsuit against eBay. Or something. I’ve received a settlement check. > > What shall I do with my windfall? I mean, it’s not every day you find yourself with a free dollar eighty-nine! Can you still get a scratch & win for $1? ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-my-settlement/603463/31 "2011-11-21T00:06:24Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Apparently I was party to a class action lawsuit against eBay. Or something. I’ve received a settlement check. > > What shall I do with my windfall? I mean, it’s not every day you find yourself with a free dollar eighty-nine! Can you still get a scratch & win for $1? ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-my-settlement/603463/32 "2011-11-21T06:14:27Z")
_Lawyer strolls into **Johnny L.A.**'s living room._ $1.89? _I’ll_ take that, thank you very much. _Yoink_ _strolls out_ ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-my-settlement/603463/33 "2011-11-21T07:09:17Z")
Now you can afford that plane you’ve been looking at! No? Well, you can afford a 1/25th balsa wood scale model at least. No? Ok, you can afford a piece of wood to carve into a plane, Or maybe just the gas to drive to the wood lot. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-my-settlement/603463/34 "2011-11-21T08:33:24Z")
I remember when my grandmother’s sister died, childless and I got some of the inheritance. My grandmother was one of nine children, so when her sister died, my grandaunt’s estate was divided into eight, less probate costs and attorney fees. My own grandmother had passed away previously, so her part was divided among the families of her three children, minus the amount taken out for her funeral, since my grandmother had dies with net worth of less than $50. My father had also died prior to this, so his third of the one-eighth, less funeral costs, etc., was divided among the me and my four brothers and sisters. So, I got 1/120th of a person’s modest estate, minus expenses. This was back in the late 70s, and I don’t remember what I did with the $54. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-my-settlement/603463/35 "2011-11-25T17:25:46Z")
Hey, I got a settlement check, too! This one was for the foreign transaction fees lawsuit that was officially settled in 2006. Not a bad chunk of change, either. A bit over three hundred bucks. That’ll buy me a nice bottle of whiskey or two. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-my-settlement/603463/36 "2011-11-26T02:43:33Z")
Not to rub it in but I got a big 9 grand out of a tobacco settlement. But before I got the settlement I had to get oral cancer. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-my-settlement/603463/37 "2011-11-26T03:15:09Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > Not to rub it in but I got a big 9 grand out of a tobacco settlement. But before I got the settlement I had to get oral cancer. You have fought my ignorance. I was pissed that cities and states were getting all the money to screw around with, rather than the people who needed it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-my-settlement/603463.md?page=1)