# I got punched in the face! or: Being mature sucks **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 2, 2008, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-punched-in-the-face-or-being-mature-sucks/436012 "2008-02-02T20:04:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ForumBot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ee59a6/32.png) [@ForumBot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ForumBot)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-punched-in-the-face-or-being-mature-sucks/436012/1 "2008-02-02T20:04:44Z")
You guessed it. Young men and alcohol. I haven’t been in a fight since I was in third grade. I could have killed that boy, and decided then to never to get in another fight for as long as I live. My friend was being his loud, boisterous self and introduced me to a buddy of his as “a dirty son-of-a bitch–he slaps me when he’s bored” as a joke, and the drunk asshole immediately took a swing at me to “stand up for his boy.” I left. I walked around the block a couple of times to cool off, and decided to confront the motherfucker. The following conversation ensued: “I want an apology.” “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” “You’re an asshole.” “I really overreacted–I was just trying to protect my friend here…”" “Have you learned anything from this? Is this mistake less likely to happen in the future?” “Look, anybody messes with my boy, I’m gonna stand up for” “Then you’re a _stupid_ asshole.” And I walked off. I will not get into a fight unless I am prepared to at least severely cripple my opponent. To a crowd of early twenties guys, I wimped out. I didn’t stand up for myself. I’ve lost the respect of a lot of my peers for not hitting him back. But that says a lot more about them than about me. I was the bigger man. Fuck whatever respect I’ve lost, I am confident in how absolutely right I am. ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-punched-in-the-face-or-being-mature-sucks/436012/2 "2008-02-02T20:20:03Z")
Before I can say how mature you were I have to know: Was he bigger than you? Seriously though, your pestering and lecturing beyond the apology seem a little over the top. He apologized right off the bat end of story. Not really your place to try to teach him a lesson. Also about the time you called him a stupid asshole for a second time you really should have expected to get hit again. Guess you’re lucky he was pretty mature. ---
**Author:** ![Surbey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@Surbey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surbey)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-punched-in-the-face-or-being-mature-sucks/436012/3 "2008-02-02T20:22:37Z")
good for you for not fighting him back. Doing something like that could have resulted in some unhappy events. However, you should never underestimate the enlightenment that a swift ass kicking can bring. Some people just need to be hit in the face. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-punched-in-the-face-or-being-mature-sucks/436012/4 "2008-02-02T20:30:19Z")
Glad you didn’t get into a full fight over it, but if something like that ever happens again, I would recommend just staying away from drunk dudes after the first swing. Trying to reason with someone who’s drunk is like trying to teach a pig to sing. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ForumBot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ee59a6/32.png) [@ForumBot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ForumBot)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-punched-in-the-face-or-being-mature-sucks/436012/5 "2008-02-02T20:30:33Z")
[QUOTE=askeptic] Before I can say how mature you were I have to know: Was he bigger than you? [/quote] :rolleyes: He was slightly taller, but I have no doubt that I am significantly stronger and faster. ---
**Author:** ![ForumBot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ee59a6/32.png) [@ForumBot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ForumBot)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-punched-in-the-face-or-being-mature-sucks/436012/6 "2008-02-02T20:33:46Z")
[QUOTE=Surbey] Some people just need to be hit in the face. [/QUOTE] Hitting someone to teach them a lesson is dumb, and counter-productive. Violence only produces more violence. If you’re going to fight, you fight to win. ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-punched-in-the-face-or-being-mature-sucks/436012/7 "2008-02-02T20:34:14Z")
[QUOTE=ForumBot] :rolleyes: [/QUOTE] Guess I really should have put in a smilie because that part really was meant in jest. The rest was not though. For a pacifist you seem pretty hostile… ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-punched-in-the-face-or-being-mature-sucks/436012/8 "2008-02-02T20:35:39Z")
[QUOTE=ForumBot] Hitting someone to teach them a lesson is dumb, and counter-productive. Violence only produces more violence. If you’re going to fight, you fight to win. [/QUOTE] How would you know? You haven’t been in a fight since the third grade, right? ---
**Author:** ![ForumBot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ee59a6/32.png) [@ForumBot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ForumBot)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-punched-in-the-face-or-being-mature-sucks/436012/9 "2008-02-02T21:08:18Z")
> [@askeptic](#): > > For a pacifist you seem pretty hostile… Sorry, as soon as I was hit my flight-or-flight response was screaming FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT and I ignored it. I suspect I’ll be on edge for a few more days. [QUOTE=askeptic] How would you know? You haven’t been in a fight since the third grade, right? [/QUOTE] Every self-defense instructor I know has taught me that once in a fight, you fight as if your life depended on it. Keys to the eyes, groin shots, whatever it takes to win. I had a problem with getting into fights when I was a kid, and I never obeyed the traditional ‘rules’ of combat–the last fight I was in, I had no intention of stopping until the other child stopped moving. That scared me, and I don’t want to bring that back. As far as violence begetting more violence, here are citations in APA format (sorry, no time to go to the index) Patterson, 1974 Russel, 1983 Arms, Russel & Sandilands, 1979 Branscombe & Wann, 1992 Goldstein & Arms, 1971 Geen, 1998 Geen & Quanty, 1977 Geen, Stonner, & Shope 1975 Ebbeson, Duncan, & Konecni 1975 ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-punched-in-the-face-or-being-mature-sucks/436012/10 "2008-02-02T21:21:22Z")
[QUOTE=askeptic] Seriously though, your pestering and lecturing beyond the apology seem a little over the top. He apologized right off the bat end of story. Not really your place to try to teach him a lesson. Also about the time you called him a stupid asshole for a second time you really should have expected to get hit again. Guess you’re lucky he was pretty mature. [/QUOTE] I agree. I read that conversation expecting him to be an asshole. Instead, he immediately apologised and admitted he made a mistake. Sure, he shouldn’t have swung at you. _That’s why he said sorry_. ---
**Author:** ![2nd\_Law](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/f475e1/32.png) [@2nd\_Law](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2nd_Law)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-punched-in-the-face-or-being-mature-sucks/436012/11 "2008-02-02T21:23:19Z")
[QUOTE=ForumBot] I had a problem with getting into fights when I was a kid, and I never obeyed the traditional ‘rules’ of combat–the last fight I was in, I had no intention of stopping until the other child stopped moving. That scared me, and I don’t want to bring that back. [/QUOTE] Ah, the Ender Wiggins school of self defense. I agree with it entirely, which is why I avoid fights also. I don’t think, once I got started, that I’d be able to stop. ---
**Author:** ![Turek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/turek/32/18782_2.png) [@Turek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turek)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-punched-in-the-face-or-being-mature-sucks/436012/12 "2008-02-02T21:28:52Z")
[QUOTE=2nd Law] Ah, the Ender Wiggins school of self defense. [/QUOTE] Yes, and the next post immediately after it was by **Speaker for the Dead**. Coincidence? I think not. 🙂 But seriously, I agree. You fight to win, and not by a little bit. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-punched-in-the-face-or-being-mature-sucks/436012/13 "2008-02-02T21:30:11Z")
[QUOTE=ForumBot] I had a problem with getting into fights when I was a kid, and I never obeyed the traditional ‘rules’ of combat–the last fight I was in, I had no intention of stopping until the other child stopped moving. That scared me, and I don’t want to bring that back. [/QUOTE] It sounds like you’re getting into the same habit verbally, IMO. Yeah, he was an asshole, but would the ongoing lecture have helped more than pounding him into a pulp? Perhaps you should have lectured your friend about not telling dumb drunk young guys that you beat him. ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-punched-in-the-face-or-being-mature-sucks/436012/14 "2008-02-02T21:51:59Z")
[QUOTE=ForumBot] … my flight-or-flight response was screaming… [/quote] Funniest typo today… > [@FB](#): > > Every self-defense instructor I know has taught me that once in a fight, you fight as if your life depended on it. Keys to the eyes, groin shots, whatever it takes to win. That is the problem with people who don’t get in fights much. They build it into a bigger deal than it usually is. Most school fights and hell even bar fights are not to the death. Just a couple guys trying to look tough usually neither guy wants to kill the other. The thing is you need to have had experience in schoolyard fights to be able to know whether you are in a frantic scream like a girl grab nuts pull hair scratch eyes situation or just a run of the mill rough and tumble. > [@](#): > > I had a problem with getting into fights when I was a kid, and I never obeyed the traditional ‘rules’ of combat–the last fight I was in, I had no intention of stopping until the other child stopped moving. That scared me, and I don’t want to bring that back. When you were in the third grade? > [@FB](#): > > As far as violence begetting more violence, here are citations in APA format (sorry, no time to go to the index) > > Patterson, 1974 > Russel, 1983 > Arms, Russel & Sandilands, 1979 > Branscombe & Wann, 1992 > Goldstein & Arms, 1971 > Geen, 1998 > Geen & Quanty, 1977 > Geen, Stonner, & Shope 1975 > Ebbeson, Duncan, & Konecni 1975 Please… I was not questioning the sociological impact of societal violence. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2008, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-punched-in-the-face-or-being-mature-sucks/436012/15 "2008-02-03T03:42:24Z")
[QUOTE=ForumBot] You guessed it. Young men and alcohol. I haven’t been in a fight since I was in third grade. I could have killed that boy, and decided then to never to get in another fight for as long as I live. My friend was being his loud, boisterous self and introduced me to a buddy of his as “a dirty son-of-a bitch–he slaps me when he’s bored” as a joke, and the drunk asshole immediately took a swing at me to “stand up for his boy.” I left. I walked around the block a couple of times to cool off, and decided to confront the motherfucker. The following conversation ensued: “I want an apology.” “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” “You’re an asshole.” “I really overreacted–I was just trying to protect my friend here…”" “Have you learned anything from this? Is this mistake less likely to happen in the future?” “Look, anybody messes with my boy, I’m gonna stand up for” “Then you’re a _stupid_ asshole.” And I walked off. I will not get into a fight unless I am prepared to at least severely cripple my opponent. To a crowd of early twenties guys, I wimped out. I didn’t stand up for myself. I’ve lost the respect of a lot of my peers for not hitting him back. But that says a lot more about them than about me. I was the bigger man. Fuck whatever respect I’ve lost, I am confident in how absolutely right I am. [/QUOTE] I don’t understand all of this - why’d you keep badgering him after he apologized? Why do you think you wimped out? Why do you think you didn’t stand up for yourself? What respect have you lost? Why did the guy hit you when a drunken idiot made a joke - is he completely stupid? Is all of this one of those guy things that I’ll never understand? ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2008, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-punched-in-the-face-or-being-mature-sucks/436012/16 "2008-02-03T04:25:55Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] Is all of this one of those guy things that I’ll never understand? [/QUOTE] No. But it does sound fishy… ---
**Author:** ![Mongo\_Ponton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Mongo\_Ponton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mongo_Ponton)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2008, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-punched-in-the-face-or-being-mature-sucks/436012/17 "2008-02-03T05:04:39Z")
Nobody likes to get popped in the face. But you’ve got some issues. Gouging peoples eyes out with keys? 3rd grade “rules of combat”? Relax and tell the guy he owes you a beer. He might turn out to be a good friend. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2008, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-punched-in-the-face-or-being-mature-sucks/436012/18 "2008-02-03T05:58:39Z")
This is one of the reasons I don’t go to bars. Idiots get drunk enough that they act like they’re in third grade, taking offense at stupid things and feeling that they have “earn the respect” of their peers by either hitting people or calling them names. ---
**Author:** ![ForumBot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ee59a6/32.png) [@ForumBot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ForumBot)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2008, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-punched-in-the-face-or-being-mature-sucks/436012/19 "2008-02-03T09:50:55Z")
[QUOTE=Mongo Ponton] Relax and tell the guy he owes you a beer. He might turn out to be a good friend. [/QUOTE] Why on Earth would I want to be friends with a person who punches strangers for no good reason? In no way do I want this man to get anything positive from me. > [@featherlou](#): > > I don’t understand all of this - why’d you keep badgering him after he apologized? Why do you think you wimped out? Why do you think you didn’t stand up for yourself? What respect have you lost? Why did the guy hit you when a drunken idiot made a joke - is he completely stupid? Is all of this one of those guy things that I’ll never understand? It’s part of my personal code of ethics. I want to be part of a society that shuns stupidity as explicitly as possible, and if it means I risk angering violent jerks and sounding like a prick to people on the internet, oh well. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2008, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-punched-in-the-face-or-being-mature-sucks/436012/20 "2008-02-03T10:41:15Z")
A friend of mine, who has a black belt in karate, told me that if trouble is developing, the best thing to do is run away. We have a TV program here showing CCTV footage of drunks at night (outside bars + clubs). When a fight starts, drunken bystanders join in and people get seriously hurt. Thumping someone shows you can thump them, not that you are morally right. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-punched-in-the-face-or-being-mature-sucks/436012.md?page=2)