# I got your Merkins right here!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-your-merkins-right-here/115013
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [June 20, 2002, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-your-merkins-right-here/115013 "2002-06-20T04:48:25Z")
**Posts on this page:** 17
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2002, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-your-merkins-right-here/115013/21 "2002-06-20T08:13:41Z")
Given that said garment was sometimes worn to cover weeping sores, tongue-lashing may not have been a priority.
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### Author:  [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2002, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-your-merkins-right-here/115013/22 "2002-06-20T08:18:57Z")
‘Weeping sores’…clearly scope for a graphic Spoonerism there.
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### Author:  [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2002, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-your-merkins-right-here/115013/23 "2002-06-20T15:13:51Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by reprise \*
> \*\*hell, you whinged when we called you **Yanks** , you whinge when we call you **Merkins** , what do you WANT us to call you? 🙂 \*\*
Call me SIR damn it! 😃
Kidding aside, a lot of my OP was (to some extent) tongue in cheek. If you want to refer to an entire group of human beings as pubic hair wigs (once used to cover crab infestations and weeping syphilis sores), that is your prerogative.
I do, however, think that the point is well made that this is a little boorish. I do not think that it would be any better received if, for example, I started to refer to the French as frogs or the English as limeys (keep in mind that there are more pejorative terms out there for entire nationalities, these two examples were used because of my perception of their relatively low emotional charge).
At best, if I started doing this, I would be seen as a bit crass. On the other end of that spectrum, I could be seen as being racist.
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### Author:  [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2002, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-your-merkins-right-here/115013/24 "2002-06-20T15:49:50Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Binarydrone \*
> **…seeping VD sores…**
Who’s gonna say it…?
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### Author:  [@Judith\_Prietht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Judith_Prietht)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2002, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-your-merkins-right-here/115013/25 "2002-06-20T15:53:17Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by A wizard song for thee \*
> \*\*Ooookay, maybe I shouldn’t have followed the link that **Binarydrone** gave us, but I did, and I figure others did, too. So, um, did the hair seem kinda… long to anyone? I hesitate to use a term like “pubic 'fro,” and perhaps I won’t, but the donor (100% Human Hair!) must have been very well-endowed in regions Down South. Either that, or I am hanging out at the wrong parties…
>
> Anyway, to make this relatively on topic, every time someone, in the wake of 9/11, spouted that they were “Proud to be a Merkin,” it brought an amused grin to my face. Personally, I like the term. I think it says a lot about our country… \*\*
On the other hand, I’m glad I followed the link. The hair does look long, but I think that’s so you can tailor and shape the shrubbery into whatever you think would up the property value (hearts, initials, lightning bolts). More pubic topiary, I say.
And while we’re on the subject of merkin references, I’m always tickled to see that the name of the band Gutter’s desperate to see in PCU are The Merkins (playing, if you recall, Frog and Toad Are Friends).
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### Author:  [@Judith\_Prietht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Judith_Prietht)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2002, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-your-merkins-right-here/115013/26 "2002-06-20T15:56:04Z")
That would be “playing with.” Also, I _love_ the [viking beard](http://www.wilshirewigs.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=wigs&Product_Code=xs440).
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### Author:  [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2002, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-your-merkins-right-here/115013/27 "2002-06-20T16:11:25Z")
I trim my pubes. I certainly don’t want any long-haired wig.
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### Author:  [@Macro\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macro_Man)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2002, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-your-merkins-right-here/115013/28 "2002-06-20T16:26:33Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by istara \*
> \*\*
> Besides, any country that names their President after a woman’s pubic hair…
> \*\*
Could be worse. I’m thinking about India’s Prime Minister…
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### Author:  [@cybersnark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cybersnark)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2002, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-your-merkins-right-here/115013/29 "2002-06-20T17:31:01Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by London\_Calling \*
> \*\*Okay, I think I should know the answer to this…how do you attach said hair and what’s to prevent the girlie’s partner from inadvertently wearing it himself (a la Abraham Lincoln) after a little tongue-lashing down below ? \*\*
OK, go back to the link above, where you can buy(!) the merkin and look closely - VERY closely. You’ll notice the hair is attached to a sort of transparent crotchless panty thingee. I assume the hair (it is kinda long, isn’t it? Oh well, I guess if you wanna style it in a pubic behive or something.) is well attached with some sort of pube-glue. Is it just me or is this thread getting weirder and weirder?
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### Author:  [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2002, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-your-merkins-right-here/115013/30 "2002-06-20T18:27:32Z")
oh looky - **Cecil** re. merkins - [http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3\_232.html](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_232.html)
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### Author:  [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2002, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-your-merkins-right-here/115013/31 "2002-06-20T18:56:01Z")
“Merkin” is also a pretty common surname.
My father had an old army buddy who had the misfortune to be named Archibald Merkin. Luckily, he was fortunate enough to be an illiterate souse, and was therefore blissfully unaware of what a howler of a name he had. Oh, I dunno, maybe his wife privately called him her “threadbare crotch-hair teddy-bear.” Who knows?
But if the word bugs ya that much, I’ll be happy to switch back to “Damyankee.” 😉
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### Author:  [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2002, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-your-merkins-right-here/115013/32 "2002-06-21T01:24:26Z")
What’s worse is that them Yurpeens think of us as Ugly Merkins!
:eek:
I mean, really!
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### Author:  [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2002, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-your-merkins-right-here/115013/33 "2002-06-21T02:13:32Z")
You **Yank** ing my **Merkin**?
I’d always called you lot Yanks, and continued to do so in the knowledge that many of you have some historical aversion to that particular term. Then I discovered the SDMB and the name “Merkin”. I like that one a lot.
Aussies call you names when we like you. Usually, it doesn’t get much more imaginative than “bastard”, so if we are calling you a pubic hair wig, you can feel pretty damn proud.
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### Author:  [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2002, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-your-merkins-right-here/115013/34 "2002-06-21T03:02:44Z")
So: your toilets all swirl backwards, you regard beer as a major food group, and if you call somebody a “pubic hair wig” you are expressing respect and/or affection?
No wonder you’re down under.
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### Author:  [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2002, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-your-merkins-right-here/115013/35 "2002-06-21T04:13:11Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by reprise \*
> \*\*hell, you whinged when we called you **Yanks** , you whinge when we call you **Merkins** , what do you WANT us to call you? 🙂 \*\*
We Merkins do not “whing”; we WHINE, dammit! And we’re good at it! 😃
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### Author:  [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2002, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-your-merkins-right-here/115013/36 "2002-06-21T05:53:37Z")
> [@](#):
>
> What are you going to do when the aliens finally land and you find out “American” means “wanker” in Martian?
HEY!!! Who told you!!! :mad:
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### Author:  [@Nenya\_Elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nenya_Elizabeth)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2002, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-got-your-merkins-right-here/115013/37 "2002-06-21T06:36:57Z")
I’ve always spelt it “Mer’can” when referring to the people group.
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