Problem is, my solution to stopping both Clocky and the Flying Alarm Clock would be the same thing…
My Mossberg Model 500 12-gauge 
Beepbeepbeepbeep…
Pull! <BLAM>
<silence>
ahh, time to snooze a little longer…
You need an alarm clock that will force you to get out of bed to stop it-- and it has to be very loud. I used to keep a big ben alarm in the bathroom off my bedroom, on the ceramic tile floor. By the time I got to it, cursing all the way, I’d be awake.
The Bith Shuffle, you’re going to have to deal with the causes of your extreme fatigue soon. You can only go on so long when suffering with sleep deprivation until something really goes awry in your system. Take care.
It was intentional bbut I just couldn’t come up with any kind of punch line or story to go along with it.
Do you have Sleep Apnea? Have you ever been tested for it?
I ask because I agree with other posts that you are probably not getting enough sleep, but it may very well be through no fault of your own. You could be getting your 6 to 8 hrs of “sleep” but in reality, you are fading in and out of the deep REM cycle sleep your body needs due to sleep apnea.
It was just a thought.
Seriously. I just can’t imagine sleeping without waking up once until 1:00 PM unless perhaps I went to bed just an hour or two before the intended 8:30 alarm or I was rather ill. On the other hand, if you have been getting a reasonable amount of sleep (or at least bed time) but still oversleep by five hours, you need to see a doctor.
If you can go back to sleep after hearing a shotgun blast in a small room, you’re a better man than I.
Then again, I’ve never done anything but wake up & stand up. Wanting to hit snooze or lying in bed is just a totally foreign concept.
I have a friend who uses a computer with large gigantic set of speakers. It’s so loud when it goes off he wakes up in mortal terror.
I also would like to know when you went to sleep! I wake up at 8 AM every weekday morning and even on weekdays I have the day off I usually wake up around 8 or so automatically. I am lucky in that I can shuffle off and go pee and then go right back to bed and back to sleep. But it’s ingrained now.
And what about the bacon alarm clock? You put a piece of bacon in it the night before and it fries it up for you.
Best. Idea. EVER. You should invent and patent that one. I’d buy it. 
I’m sure you could come up with an appropriate story. You do have a reputation to live down to!
Lock your alarm clock in a metal box.
Put the key to the box in a deep jug of water, in another room.
This will wake sleepwalkers too.
Somebody already did. 
My ex had an alarm clock which drove me. completely. apeshit. He would constantly go off to work and leave it on, thus interrupting the 27 minutes of sleep I got each day (first six weeks of baby.) And the buttons on it were very small, and it wouldn’t. turn. off. Every time I thought I had it turned off it would start up again a few minutes later. I’m still amazed I didn’t beat him to death with it.
One morning it went off and the button was stuck, so I pulled the cord out of the wall and threw the whole thing out the back door.
A few minutes later I was awakened by what I thought was a truck backing up in the 7/11 parking lot. You know the beeping sound they make? Only ten minutes later it was still backing up . . . no . . . it’s the #*$^@(!ng alarm clock in the back yard beeping on battery back-up! ! ! ! !
OK, sorry, back to your originally scheduled thread. . .
The flying alarm scares me because the sound doesn’t appear to come from the key. So if the key flew into the hallway or landed in some crevice, you couldn’t use echolocation to find it.
When it goes off, it jams a viagra down your throat. 15 minutes later, you’re vaulted out of bed…
Oh, God. Start every day frightened and angry. Great idea.
I could never do something like this. I value having some control over how I wake up, and the days where I wake up so hard that I have no chance of at least resting a little bit longer just leave me pissed off. I usually allow enough time for at least a few snooze hits.
Provided the OP’s problem is simply not hearing the alarm and isn’t indicative of a deeper problem like apnea, I get the same thing too, where eventually I just stop consciously hearing my alarm. I don’t sleep in for an extra 5 and a half hours, but I do let it buzz longer and longer before I’m actually awake enough to check the time.
I get around this problem by having an alarm clock with two different alarms. I use one until I stop hearing it, then switch to the other. It takes a few months before I get too familiar with the sound, so by the time I can’t use the second one any more I can go back to the first.
I do want to try out the Sun Alarm Clock at some point, though. It seems like a really smooth way to wake up, rather than the unsettling jarring of an alarm.
At least, until the SWAT team arrives.
I have my alarm on my computer.
I have it set to full-screen and I have a password on my screensaver, so every time I wake up, I have to put in my password, click on the screen, and hunt for the esc button (or the spacebar, if I want to sleep for five more minutes). My laptop is right by my bed, so I don’t have to get up to do it, but I do have to pay some attention.
It also helps that you can easily change the sounds. I like things that are annoying enough that I really want to make them stop (so no tweeting birdies or windchimes and no music) but not so annoying that I wake up angry. Right now, it makes elephant sounds. I’ve had the same problem in the past with turning off alarms in my sleep and it helps to have sort of novel sounds so that I wake up going, “wtf is that? oh! it’s my alarm bleating like a lamb,” and not just hear the sound and turn it off on reflex.
Good luck
Some evil alarm clocks here. I imagine the “Clearsounds wake & Shake” must be quite effective:
“Tone control offers 95 dB ring level volume intensity. Flashing strobe light breaks through sleep to wake you up. Vibrating pad can be positioned under your pillow or mattress for a sturdy nudge out of bed.”
Ugh.
ETA: This one is even worse.