# I guess I still have it
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-still-have-it/665291
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [August 4, 2013, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-still-have-it/665291 "2013-08-04T02:16:17Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2013, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-still-have-it/665291/41 "2013-08-04T22:49:09Z")
> [@GusNSpot](#):
>
> When people open the door to violence, they do not get to complain to me about how much walks in. IMO YMMV
>
> The kids acted the way they did because we have taught them that it is OK to do those things as there will be no consequences.
To quote:
> [@](#):
>
> Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time
I am amazed at some of the responses here. A guy gets assaulted and you expect him to say thank you sir may I have another? Fuck that.
Word to the wise don’t assault someone unless you are ready to get your ass kicked. Yeah you might be younger and taller, what you don’t know is what the guy you assaulted is willing to do. In some places he might just shoot your ass rather than fuck with you.
Ducati you did good.
---
### Author:  [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2013, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-still-have-it/665291/42 "2013-08-04T22:56:18Z")
> [@Glazer](#):
>
> Hey girl,
> White people wouldn’t really say something to a black person calling other white people Cracker. We mostly think it’s funny. Even when it’s directed at me it makes me giggle. Which can be dangerous if the person calling me cracker is really pissed.
I have heard this said, but it seems crazy to me, because you all seem to get awfully worked up when \*we \*say the word nigger! It’s like, hey, if \*your \*slurs don’t bother _you_, don’t get mad at us for saying “our” slurs!
---
### Author:  [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2013, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-still-have-it/665291/43 "2013-08-04T23:03:13Z")
The OP was assaulted, and took defensive action which, as described, does not seem excessive to me. Defending oneself is always a risk, but it also has its rewards.
---
### Author:  [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2013, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-still-have-it/665291/44 "2013-08-04T23:17:25Z")
You know, I agree that these kids/young adults at the other table were acting wildly inappropriately and they ought to have been removed from the establishment. However, the minute some tough-guy turns around to me in public and says, “that’s enough, you’re done,” in a threatening way, he’s the aggressor.
There were many ways to handle the situation that didn’t involve engaging the other table in a competition of dominance. Frankly, you brought the “assault by soft-drink” on yourself. Then, used it as an excuse to engage in physical combat. Every choice you made escalated the situation.
I’m still not sure why the kids/adults were arrested, and why that was a desirable outcome of them being rude in a restaurant.
---
### Author:  [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2013, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-still-have-it/665291/45 "2013-08-04T23:25:48Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#):
>
> Not one guy in the place stepped forward to help? Not one??.. That’s the disappointing part.
Right, because as we all know, men are just cannon fodder. They’re there to fight, not eat. I, too, am disappointed that other people…err, I mean just the men…didn’t jump into an altercation that they didn’t start, didn’t ask for, and didn’t want.
> [@Werekoala](#):
>
> Punks like that would have been painted blue and clashing with Roman legions 2000 years ago.
Heeeey, easy there. Some of us _like_ the blue team!
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#):
>
> I have heard this said, but it seems crazy to me, because you all seem to get awfully worked up when \*we \*say the word nigger! It’s like, hey, if \*your \*slurs don’t bother _you_, don’t get mad at us for saying “our” slurs!
But the difference is that you get all hot and bothered when white people say nigger, even if it’s in a clinical atmosphere like a panel discussion on the evening news. White people’s disdain for black people’s use of nigg(a/er) stems more from “why do I get in trouble for saying what they’re saying, even in a neutral setting?” than “It’s inappropriate to actually say racial slurs out loud, always.” That doesn’t happen with the c-word.
---
### Author:  [@Girlundone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlundone)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2013, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-still-have-it/665291/46 "2013-08-04T23:31:05Z")
[QUOTE=AuntiePam]
Aside: I saw my first “stretched ear” a couple weeks ago, on a white guy in his (I guess) late 20’s, early 30’s. He rented our community hall for a family reunion. I did my usual inspection when the event was over, and found the guy and two of his kids mopping the floor. Not just mopping, but on their hands and knees with scrub pads, working on a years-old stain. “You didn’t have to do that.” “I like to leave a place better than how I found it.” Whoa.
[/QUOTE]
Thank you for this. The majority of the people who sport gauges, piercings, tattoos are not bad people. It’s ridiculous to make a judgement based on that. To the OP, I’m glad you took care of the punkass bitch, but you might consider dialing back on the judgement. Most of the most notorious psychopaths are normal looking white guys. Don’t judge a book by its cover, and all that.
---
### Author:  [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2013, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-still-have-it/665291/47 "2013-08-04T23:43:08Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#):
>
> I have heard this said, but it seems crazy to me, because you all seem to get awfully worked up when \*we \*say the word nigger! It’s like, hey, if \*your \*slurs don’t bother _you_, don’t get mad at us for saying “our” slurs!
Cracker to us isn’t really a big deal… it doesn’t have a history and for all we care you could pick any other word to use (jive ass honky worked well in the 70’s). I really don’t know one white person who would get worked up by being called a cracker. We know you may be trying to use it as an insult, but it just doesn’t have that meaning to us that hurts down deep.
On the other hand, if a white person calls a black person a nigger, they fully know that this is a hateful and loaded word that is fully intended to hurt.
If a black person calls another black person a nigger we know they may or may not be able to pull it off… If a white person calls a black person the same there is usually no way it won’t be highly offensive. Us white folk tend to feel like we are walking on egg shells when it is used… no matter how many of our best friends are black. Cracker just doesn’t have the same impact.
---
### Author:  [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2013, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-still-have-it/665291/48 "2013-08-04T23:44:29Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#):
>
> Right, because as we all know, men are just cannon fodder. They’re there to fight, not eat. I, too, am disappointed that other people…err, I mean just the men…didn’t jump into an altercation that they didn’t start, didn’t ask for, and didn’t want.
>
> Heeeey, easy there. Some of us _like_ the blue team!
>
> But the difference is that you get all hot and bothered when white people say nigger, even if it’s in a clinical atmosphere like a panel discussion on the evening news. White people’s disdain for black people’s use of nigg(a/er) stems more from “why do I get in trouble for saying what they’re saying, even in a neutral setting?” than “It’s inappropriate to actually say racial slurs out loud, always.” That doesn’t happen with the c-word.
But all the black people I know really don’t care about the word nigger. I think maybe there are some whites and some blacks who make all the noise about these things, and the rest of us are all like, whatever.
---
### Author:  [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2013, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-still-have-it/665291/49 "2013-08-05T00:11:04Z")
> [@Emtar\_KronJonDerSohn](#):
>
> Wow, you’re so damn cool! Picking fights with kids?! High five!
fuck this shit. I’m 36, and I regularly encounter 15, 16, 17 year olds who are much larger than me and could easily overpower me. Just because they’re not legally adults doesn’t mean they can’t be dangerous, nor does it make it “wrong” to defend oneself from them… So quit with this tugging at heartstrings bullshit.
---
### Author:  [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2013, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-still-have-it/665291/50 "2013-08-05T00:11:28Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#):
>
> But all the black people I know really don’t care about the word nigger.
I’m not sure it is as innocent as you think. I have some very close friends who are black that I interact with every day (yes, I know that sounds like the normal white guy’s excuse). I’m pretty sure that if I ever called any one of them a nigger our relationship would change, no matter how jokingly I tried to use it. I’m pretty sure that it wouldn’t end a 20 some year friendship, but it would still make it more awkward. If any one of them called me a cracker… I would laugh.
---
### Author:  [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2013, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-still-have-it/665291/51 "2013-08-05T00:25:34Z")
> [@Spud](#):
>
> I’m not sure it is as innocent as you think. I have some very close friends who are black that I interact with every day (yes, I know that sounds like the normal white guy’s excuse). I’m pretty sure that if I ever called any one of them a nigger our relationship would change, no matter how jokingly I tried to use it. I’m pretty sure that it wouldn’t end a 20 some year friendship, but it would still make it more awkward. If any one of them called me a cracker… I would laugh.
Ok, I think it is as innocent as I think. I can probably trump your “friends who are black” card with my “I AM BLACK” card. I can assure you, being called a nigger doesn’t faze me in the least. If my white friend called me that, I would assume he is joking and laugh. He called me that and he isn’t joking, he isn’t a friend like I thought he was, so of course the relationship would change. If you have black friends who will call you a cracker in an attempt to hurt you, no matter how feeble, and your relationship doesn’t change, then I don’t understand your idea of friendship. If a friend calls you a name in an attempt to hurt you, which name it is doesn’t really matter.
I have no doubt that you know black people who are mortally wounded by the word nigger. But I am telling you that I know LOTS of black people…tons even, who don’t really care. Sometimes I think some white people kind of secretly hope there is such a thing as a magic word that can just cut someone to their core. And sometimes I think some black people exploit that wish of some white people by feigning deep hurt. But in my experience, no. The black people in my social circle say nigger tons of times a day. We hang with white people who say it. White women marry into our families, and raise their little mix kids and we all say it together all the damn time. We laugh about enraged white customers sputtering the word like it’s a ninja star. We sit around the kitchen table and crack up at the shit. Now, you can assume that I’m innocent to the ways of blacks, but…come on.
---
### Author:  [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2013, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-still-have-it/665291/52 "2013-08-05T00:58:22Z")
> [@kayT](#):
>
> I guess I have lived too long if we are now in a world where throwing a drink at someone is “assault”.
I think it’s been “assault” since you were born. And, if you feel you have lived too long, perhaps some Thorazine is in order.
---
### Author:  [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2013, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-still-have-it/665291/53 "2013-08-05T01:00:48Z")
> [@ducati](#):
>
> Yeah, I’m a little older, a lot heavier, and bit slower than I once was, but I can still take care of bidness. A man wonders that now and then as time goes by.
>
> Took the wife and kids to see a movie last night. Decided on Steak & Shake for a late dinner. I opted for a table in the corner away from folks; it’s more comfortable than a booth for me.
>
> Eventually, the punk teen smokers I had noticed outside came inside and sat behind me to my right. I gave them a passing glance, but no more. Tats, piercings, big ass gauges; 3 boys, 2 girls. The girls seemed normal. The place was filled with families so I thought maybe they’d leave soon. Kids crying and all…
>
> Anyway, through dinner they’re getting louder and louder. Fuck this, cockgobbler that, stupid cunt, etc.
>
> Now I cuss a good bit with my friends, and I don’t hold back much at home either.
> Call it bad parenting if you like, but if the worst thing my kids ever do is call someone at school an asshole, I can live with that.
>
> Anyway, I’m no prude, and I don’t go around defending women’s honor if a cad lets slip some unsavory words at some point. Words, after all, are just words.
>
> However, there is the matter of common decency, and with a dozen children under the age of 12 within 18 feet, I decided enough was enough. I turned around, looked at Sk8terboi #1 and said “That’s enough. You’re done.” I got a slight nod from S1, a snicker from S2, and nothing from S3, whose back was to me. I nodded back, and assumed that was it.
>
> My wife said thank you, my daughter was mortified that I corrected someone, and I got several appreciative glances and nods from other parents around. Fine.
>
> Trouble began when S3 couldn’t leave it alone. Started mumbling about “crackers”, “fat asses”, and “kicking ass” and more. :rolleyes: I turned around, said “Excuse me. Do you have something to say to me?” S3 just glared and replied “NO!”, so I said “OK”, and resumed eating.
> Within 5 minutes, we’re all done, and waiting on the check, when the kids get up to leave.
> As they pass our table I’m watching their reflection in the window. They’re giggling, shoving each other like schoolgirls, and coming up behind me. With a final “shhh” and hand motions to the others, S3 proceeds to “accidentally” spill his drink on me.
>
> I had moved some, but still got a good bit on me. It was hilarious. The boys were laughing, punching each other, while the girls had the good sense to put their heads down and walk away. I stood up, and said “You really shouldn’t have done that. You had a chance to go home tonight, and you blew it.”
>
> As I stepped toward S3, he reached out to shove me. I introduced this pothead to what I’m sure wasn’t his first wrist lock, torqued him to the floor, and dropped a knee into his ribs. He began to cry.
>
> The other idiots decided they could rescue their boy, and threatened me with a serious - a serious - ass kicking. My wife stood up and say “Hey asshole. Look around you.”
> There must have been 9 people with Iphones held up and recording!
>
> People started telling them they saw what happened, it was on purpose, and so on. It was beautiful.
>
> A large manager came over and stood in the doorway, and I told the kids to have a seat or a broken arm, their choice.
>
> Cops were there in 2 minutes, everyone told them what happened, and since “I’ll cut your throat” was mentioned, they get Terroristic Threats added to the charges.😃
> Maybe you don’t want to judge people by their appearance, and that’s OK. It works for me, and I got exactly what I expected:dubious:
> Oh, I’m fine, BTW.😃
Well done!
At any rate, I expect you to let us know when you find it on youtube!
---
### Author:  [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2013, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-still-have-it/665291/54 "2013-08-05T01:03:49Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#):
>
> I think it’s been “assault” since you were born. And, if you feel you have lived too long, perhaps some Thorazine is in order.
I have no idea what you are on about.
---
### Author:  [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2013, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-still-have-it/665291/55 "2013-08-05T01:04:53Z")
> [@Eonwe](#):
>
> You know, I agree that these kids/young adults at the other table were acting wildly inappropriately and they ought to have been removed from the establishment. However, the minute some tough-guy turns around to me in public and says, “that’s enough, you’re done,” in a threatening way, he’s the aggressor.
>
> There were many ways to handle the situation that didn’t involve engaging the other table in a competition of dominance. Frankly, you brought the “assault by soft-drink” on yourself. Then, used it as an excuse to engage in physical combat. Every choice you made escalated the situation.
>
> I’m still not sure why the kids/adults were arrested, and why that was a desirable outcome of them being rude in a restaurant.
Glad to know I’m not the only one who thinks this way.
---
### Author:  [@Psychopants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psychopants)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2013, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-still-have-it/665291/56 "2013-08-05T01:13:32Z")
> [@Clothahump](#):
>
> Ummmm…it has always been an assault. This ain’t new.
I believe it is actually battery. Not assault. But I’m not a real lawyer, so feel free to debate.
---
### Author:  [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2013, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-still-have-it/665291/57 "2013-08-05T01:22:46Z")
> [@Eonwe](#):
>
> You know, I agree that these kids/young adults at the other table were acting wildly inappropriately and they ought to have been removed from the establishment. However, the minute some tough-guy turns around to me in public and says, “that’s enough, you’re done,” in a threatening way, he’s the aggressor.
>
> There were many ways to handle the situation that didn’t involve engaging the other table in a competition of dominance. Frankly, you brought the “assault by soft-drink” on yourself. Then, used it as an excuse to engage in physical combat. Every choice you made escalated the situation.
>
> I’m still not sure why the kids/adults were arrested, and why that was a desirable outcome of them being rude in a restaurant.
So using words deserves to be assaulted? I can’t even start to explain to you how this county does not allow words to justify a physical assaults especially how he was walking away when assaulted the first time.
Why were they arrested? They assaulted him and then threatened to kill him.
So in Eonweland and kayTville, if a person tells another person to be quiet they deserve to have stuff thrown on them, beaten up and threatened to have their throat cut. BUT if you threaten to cut someone’s throat you should not be arrested. Is that about it?
---
### Author:  [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2013, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-still-have-it/665291/58 "2013-08-05T01:32:23Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#):
>
> Well done!
> At any rate, I expect you to let us know when you find it on youtube!
Anyone have a link? It’s always nice to read about the OP’s latest public confrontation, but video would make it extra special.
---
### Author:  [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2013, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-still-have-it/665291/59 "2013-08-05T01:33:09Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#):
>
> I can probably trump your “friends who are black” card with my “I AM BLACK” card.
But I have LOTS of black friends 😃
OK, I’ll take your word for it, but I still won’t ever feel comfortable saying it. I don’t think of it as a magic bullet that can instantly cut to the core, but it is something I’ve been told is wrong since I was very young and just doesn’t feel right to me.
I’m still pretty sure that if I posted a thread titled “Isn’t that just like a cracker.” and another titled “Isn’t that just like a nigger.” that I would get a much harsher response from the latter (likely even a warning).
---
### Author:  [@diggerwam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/diggerwam)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2013, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-still-have-it/665291/60 "2013-08-05T01:35:57Z")
See, I think that the punishment should fit the crime. I just think a felony on a 20 year old that could possibly affect the rest of his life is too big a punishment for tossing a drink at someone.
Yes, he did something stupid and did it to impress his friends and the girls. His crime could literally follow him the rest of his life. It’s not right.
That said, I don’t know what the alternative would be. Maybe the OP could decline to press charges (I don’t know if that’s even an option) and maybe that would teach the punk a lesson and also teach him about being the bigger man.
I just have a serious problem with one relatively minor offence negatively messing up this guys next 60 years on the planet. I’d like to think I believe in potential and forgiveness for stupid acts, particularly those that don’t actually permanently harm anybody.
It’s the law and the OP has every right to press charges and pursue it, but yes, I would have a hard time sleeping. How would you (dear reader) like to be permanently judged on the stupidest thing you ever did in your life?? On the stupidest thing you did when you had too much to drink and were trying impress a pretty girl??
[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-still-have-it/665291.md?page=2)
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-still-have-it/665291.md?page=4)