# I guess I was the rebound guy **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 15, 2002, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-was-the-rebound-guy/136863 "2002-11-15T13:38:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![rubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@rubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rubes)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-was-the-rebound-guy/136863/1 "2002-11-15T13:38:59Z")
After 4 months into the relationship, I have been informed by the other half that it is over. She claims that we were never together. I don’t quite understand that, as we were close physically AND mentally, however someone else has asked her out. She thanked me for being there to help her get over her last b-friend, and although I warned her early on that I didn’t want to be the rebound guy, I guess I was. It was fun while it lasted, but this is fairly painful now. I thanked her for being honest and telling me, and we talked/cried for a little over two hours last night. I thought she was the one, I really did. So much for my intuition, which has never been that accurate. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-was-the-rebound-guy/136863/2 "2002-11-15T13:46:03Z")
Oh **rubes** baby… I’m so sorry. ((Big skanky hugs for you)) ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-was-the-rebound-guy/136863/3 "2002-11-15T13:47:03Z")
I’ve been there pal and know how much it sucks. Take a bit of time to chill, you will feel better. Kal BTW, your sig is the most truthful statement I’ve ever read on this board. ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-was-the-rebound-guy/136863/4 "2002-11-15T13:47:59Z")
lifes a bitch mate, if i was nearby i’d offer to buy you drink… ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-was-the-rebound-guy/136863/5 "2002-11-15T13:48:53Z")
I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that. The age old question of why bad things happen to good people. ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-was-the-rebound-guy/136863/6 "2002-11-15T13:50:10Z")
And if I weren’t still sick (going on 3 weeks), I’d offer to buy you a drink, too. Can I take you out next week, **rubes**? ---
**Author:** ![Eleusis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Eleusis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleusis)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-was-the-rebound-guy/136863/7 "2002-11-15T13:50:36Z")
But now you get to turn it around let some hapless girl be _your_ rebound. And the circle of life continues. Actually, try to stay out of serious relationships for a while. Have some fun and slut around for a while, that’s what I used to do. ---
**Author:** ![rubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@rubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rubes)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-was-the-rebound-guy/136863/8 "2002-11-15T13:53:00Z")
Funny thing about the drink. I rec’d an email yesterday from her saying that we needed to talk, so I had a feeling where this was going. I told my coworker that I might need today off, as I might need to hit the bar and drown my miseries. Didn’t happen, which is good. I was just so drained after our 2+hour conversation, I went to bed at 8:00. I have that ugly ball in the stomach feeling, and I just feel duped. Silly me.:smack: ps: Kal, glad you like the sig ---
**Author:** ![rubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@rubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rubes)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-was-the-rebound-guy/136863/9 "2002-11-15T13:54:47Z")
Gazelle, can you email me, pls. ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-was-the-rebound-guy/136863/10 "2002-11-15T14:05:06Z")
Wrote to you at your hotmail, my friend. And attempted to remember your work e-mail, too… ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-was-the-rebound-guy/136863/11 "2002-11-15T14:46:57Z")
Man thats a real drag. I think four months is quite a bit of time. Its too bad she didn’t stay with you. Logically you’d think that if you made her happy and feel better about getting over her previous relationship she wouldn’t have dumped you. But women aren’t logical, and I find that they can have very fickle hearts at times. I’ve gotten the ‘it was never a relationship’ speech as well. Perhaps some women say that to shed guilt about discarding a decent guy when situations improve for them. ---
**Author:** ![rubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@rubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rubes)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-was-the-rebound-guy/136863/12 "2002-11-15T16:38:10Z")
I’m feeling a little bit better about the situation, and INCUBUS, I think you are right about the shedding guilt thing. At least that’s what I’m going to think, as my mood is starting to improve. ---
**Author:** ![Jessity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c67d28/32.png) [@Jessity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jessity)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-was-the-rebound-guy/136863/13 "2002-11-15T16:41:55Z")
Sorry to hear that, **rubes**. ☹ I agree with the shedding guilt thing, too. I think both sexes do it, though. . . still sucks. ---
**Author:** ![skittles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ba9def/32.png) [@skittles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/skittles)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-was-the-rebound-guy/136863/14 "2002-11-15T16:42:35Z")
\*\* rubes\*\* sorry to hear about your current situation. Try to keep your chin up. And remember - we’re here for you when you need us. ---
**Author:** ![zimmdogg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/d6d6ee/32.png) [@zimmdogg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zimmdogg)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-was-the-rebound-guy/136863/15 "2002-11-15T17:44:37Z")
Re: the “it was never a relationship” thing… Remember, when she says that, she means that it wasn’t one for her - still a really crappy thing to do. Occasionally you will meet people who can’t stand to be alone, and will use other people to prevent that from happening. It does hurt now, and hugs all around for your suffering, but remember: 1. It would hurt more if she waited longer, or, God forbid, starting seeing someone else without ending it with you. 2. You deserve/can do better. She seems sort of insecure [back to that can’t be single thing], and you deserve someone who doesn’t need that kind of ego building attention. I’m being sort of critical of someone I don’t know, and I apoligize for that - she had to do a difficult thing, and she did the right thing. So go have a beer, feel better soon, and keep looking. It’s a big ocean and she’s just one fish. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-was-the-rebound-guy/136863/16 "2002-11-15T18:41:20Z")
Just want to say that I have been on the receiving end of the “we never really were anything” statement, and I know how much that sucks. Feeling “duped” is a great way to put it. Hang in there man. ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-was-the-rebound-guy/136863/17 "2002-11-15T18:55:43Z")
It’s a crappy, cowardly way to end a relationship. And it **was** a relationship. Take it easy, **rubes** baby. ---
**Author:** ![cherry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cherry)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-was-the-rebound-guy/136863/18 "2002-11-15T19:03:58Z")
I’m sorry, being the rebound person sucks and not a reflection of who you are. Glad to hear that you’re feeling better. ---
**Author:** ![Jessity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c67d28/32.png) [@Jessity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jessity)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-was-the-rebound-guy/136863/19 "2002-11-15T19:10:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gazelle from Hell \* > \*\*It’s a crappy, cowardly way to end a relationship. And it _was_ a relationship. > > \*\* I agree. It’s a cowardly way of backing out, especially when most adults can handle hearing the truth about most things. I think it has a lot to do with the ‘shedding guilt’ thing mentioned earlier, but it makes me feel like a fool, and there’s nothing I hate worse than feeling like a fool. . . feeling like someone allowed me to make a fool of myself while they were rolling their eyes, _knowing_ they didn’t have feelings for me. ---
**Author:** ![rubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@rubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rubes)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-was-the-rebound-guy/136863/20 "2002-11-15T20:32:23Z")
Right on **Jessica2** I wrote an email stating that my mood swings from sadness, to feeling foolish, which leads me back to sadness. Somewhere in those moods, the sky clears, and I know that it’s for the best, but oh my aching heart. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-i-was-the-rebound-guy/136863.md?page=2)