# I guess I'm getting a seperation **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 3, 2009, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-getting-a-seperation/508729 "2009-09-03T08:49:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-getting-a-seperation/508729/1 "2009-09-03T08:49:54Z")
Tonight my husband of 5 years and my love for 9, have decided to separate. I’m confused, angry, hurt and mixed up, but I guess I’ll cope. Ya’ll are the first people outside of my immediate household I have told, because none of my family lurks here, and I would rather tell them myself then have them find out on the Internet. Speaking of which, I will have Internet where I will be staying, at least for the time being, so if anyone is interested, I will be posting updates. Say a little prayer or send some mojo my way, huh? I could use it. ---
**Author:** ![nicole1912](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9de0a6/32.png) [@nicole1912](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nicole1912)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-getting-a-seperation/508729/2 "2009-09-03T08:56:47Z")
I’m sorry to hear your news - best of luck in sorting everything out. If the well wishes of a complete stranger would help at all, you’ve got mine. Nicole ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-getting-a-seperation/508729/3 "2009-09-03T13:51:37Z")
Oh dear, I’m so sorry . Wishing you peace and strength as you get through this. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-getting-a-seperation/508729/4 "2009-09-03T13:57:23Z")
Good luck. Man, seems to be a lot of this going on right now. Is there something in the air? ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-getting-a-seperation/508729/5 "2009-09-03T14:15:48Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > Good luck. > > Man, seems to be a lot of this going on right now. Is there something in the air? There is a lot of stress from the current economic situation - more than enough to go around. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-getting-a-seperation/508729/6 "2009-09-03T15:08:52Z")
I am sorry to hear your news. It is always a sad and confusing time when this happens. Sending supporting thoughts your way. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-getting-a-seperation/508729/7 "2009-09-03T15:12:30Z")
Sending lots of good thoughts and prayers your way. I’m sorry to hear about this, and I know how much it hurts. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-getting-a-seperation/508729/8 "2009-09-03T15:41:03Z")
Mojo’s in the mail, **janis**. I hope the other emotions you’re feeling outweigh the hurt. > [@Dinsdale](#): > > Good luck. > > Man, seems to be a lot of this going on right now. Is there something in the air? …he said, alertly. 😉 I’ve been wishing you luck as well. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-getting-a-seperation/508729/9 "2009-09-03T15:43:57Z")
I’m sorry to hear that. I send you a small chunky of my very limited mojo. I came close to suggesting a seperation to my wife recently and venting to the dopers helped - I think. A lot of strong opinions here. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-getting-a-seperation/508729/10 "2009-09-03T16:28:29Z")
I am so sorry. Is there any way you two can work this out? ---
**Author:** ![Emily\_Litella](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emily_litella/32/3370_2.png) [@Emily\_Litella](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emily_Litella)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-getting-a-seperation/508729/11 "2009-09-03T17:39:22Z")
I’m sorry to hear it. It sounds like it was your husbands’ idea. I hope things work out for you both, sometimes a little time apart can give a new perspective on the situation. ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2009, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-getting-a-seperation/508729/12 "2009-09-04T01:26:25Z")
I’m sorry. I wish you strength to get through a hard time. Vent away here, I do think it can help. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2009, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-getting-a-seperation/508729/13 "2009-09-04T02:19:48Z")
Sorry you are having to go through this. If it’s his idea to separate, why do you have to be the one to move out? ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2009, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-getting-a-seperation/508729/14 "2009-09-04T04:05:16Z")
Wow, this had been a bad month for Doper marriages. There’s always more mojo to go around so I’ll send you some virtual {{{{{hugs}}}}}. Take gentle care of yourself. ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-getting-a-seperation/508729/15 "2009-09-11T02:35:29Z")
Thanks for the mojo you guys, I appricicate it. I feel a lot more peaceful now about this now. I will fill in more details later. I had made a longer post about this, but the internet ate it, I did want you guys to know I was feeling better, so thanks! ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2009, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-getting-a-seperation/508729/16 "2009-09-14T13:24:06Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > I am so sorry. Is there any way you two can work this out? No, there isn’t. To be honest, there are things I’m amazed I’ve put up with for 9 years. You see, no matter what, I’ve always been as honest as I can with him. and I do have feelings for someone else (Mind you, up to that point I had not acted on thoes feelings) HIs responce was that maybe we should seperate.. To be honest, I was really surprised that he said this. I had been feeling distance between us, but assumed it was all on my end. After a couple more days of consideration, he told me that he didn’t love me anymore, when I posted the OP. The next day he’d changed his mind, but… too late. (Turns our because of a medicine imbalance that he actually might have not been in his right mind when he said this… The unfortunate fact is he was still correct. He and i are holding each other back.) It was like someone has bopped me over the head and woken me up. He and I are just not good for each other, and that was the deciding factor. It wasn’t just that I wanted out, and wanted to be with someone I AM way more compatible with (Although that is the case) I wanted to free him of me too. I don’'t like the person I am when I’m with him She is spiteful, hateful and unhappy. Execpt for financial and logisitical worries, once I had made the decision to accept this, I’ve been happier the last couple of weeks than I have for a long long time, maybe ever. Anyway, If anyone’s interested I can still update the thread, and thanks again for the mojo. It truly helped. (Kepp sending it!! )