# I guess I'm going to be cuddling my teddy bear tonight **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 14, 2003, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-going-to-be-cuddling-my-teddy-bear-tonight/195270 "2003-08-14T23:38:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-going-to-be-cuddling-my-teddy-bear-tonight/195270/21 "2003-08-15T22:32:52Z")
Oh please. Hit bottom? A guy isn’t calling back. ---
**Author:** ![superstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f4b2a3/32.png) [@superstar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/superstar)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-going-to-be-cuddling-my-teddy-bear-tonight/195270/22 "2003-08-15T22:41:38Z")
Just to get things in perspective. How old are you? How long has it been since you’ve been in a long term relationship? ---
**Author:** ![superstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f4b2a3/32.png) [@superstar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/superstar)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-going-to-be-cuddling-my-teddy-bear-tonight/195270/23 "2003-08-15T22:43:59Z")
Sorry let me give some purpose to those questions. If you are still young…under 35, you still have alot more relationships (or in your case **7 up yours** ) non-relationships to burn. And if you are just out of a long term realtionship it may have been soon anyone. ---
**Author:** ![tavalla](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tavalla/32/89_2.png) [@tavalla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tavalla)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-going-to-be-cuddling-my-teddy-bear-tonight/195270/24 "2003-08-15T22:52:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by White Lightning \* > \*\*Oh please. Hit bottom? A guy isn’t calling back. \*\* Not ‘hit bottom in the whole of my life and this is the worst it’ll ever get, ever ever ever, and it’ll never get better so I might as well kill myself now’ – but ‘hit bottom in this particular cycle and now it’s time to start moving up again’. At least, that’s how I read **sperfur** ’s comment, what with the rollercoaster bit just ahead of it. ---
**Author:** ![PiscesPrincess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f1d935/32.png) [@PiscesPrincess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PiscesPrincess)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-going-to-be-cuddling-my-teddy-bear-tonight/195270/25 "2003-08-15T23:03:17Z")
Give the guy the benefit of the doubt - not for his sake, but for your own. Sounds like for whatever reason, he’s decided a relationship won’t work out with you. It totally sucks and hurts, but it’s not the end of the world. He obviously didn’t have the guts to tell you, and figured that by not calling you, you’d eventually get the hint, and he wouldn’t have to ‘personally’ hurt your feelings. One piece of advice - don’t call him again! I’ve done this too many times in the past, and it only makes you feel worse. Trust me. Please. Don’t beat yourself up - you haven’t done anything wrong. Plus now you’re free for the RIGHT person to come along. So, really, this guy’s done you a favour - although it doesn’t seem like it right now. Think about it - do you really want a relationship with someone who doesn’t care about your feelings, and who doesn’t have the - let’s face it - balls to end things in person!?! Good luck … you’ll be fine. Wallow if you must, but give yourself a deadline - as of (this date) I’ll move on, have fun, and not give this guy another moment of my time / energy. ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-going-to-be-cuddling-my-teddy-bear-tonight/195270/26 "2003-08-16T20:56:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tavalla \* > \*\*Not ‘hit bottom in the whole of my life and this is the worst it’ll ever get, ever ever ever, and it’ll never get better so I might as well kill myself now’ – but ‘hit bottom in this particular cycle and now it’s time to start moving up again’. > > At least, that’s how I read **sperfur** ’s comment, what with the rollercoaster bit just ahead of it. \*\* One million points to **tavalla** for reading comprehension skills. You’re bummed out. _Really, really_ bummed out, from what you’ve posted. I’m saying, let’s make this the bottom of bummed out - let’s start moving up. Here’s some ideas to get headed in that direction. ---
**Author:** ![GrandfatherTrout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f17d59/32.png) [@GrandfatherTrout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandfatherTrout)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-going-to-be-cuddling-my-teddy-bear-tonight/195270/27 "2003-08-16T22:37:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eonwe \* > \*\*_It was thirty years ago today, that > Unca Cecil taught the band to play > Fightin’ ignorance with skill and guile > with Teaming Millions from the rank and file > So may I introduce to you > The act you’ve known for all these years, > Unca Cecil’s Lonely Hearts Club Band._ \*\* Phew. For half a moment there I was worried I’d have to write something like this myself. Oh, Trout of little faith. And I’m sorry to hear you’re blue, 7. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-going-to-be-cuddling-my-teddy-bear-tonight/195270/28 "2003-08-16T23:23:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by superstar \* > \*\*Sorry let me give some purpose to those questions. > > If you are still young…under 35, you still have alot more relationships (or in your case **7 up yours** ) non-relationships to burn. > > And if you are just out of a long term realtionship it may have been soon anyone. \*\* Oh crap! I turn 35 in a couple of months and I haven’t been out on a date in over a year! I’m so screwed! (See, **7 up yours** , it could be worse!) ::Wanders off to wallow in self-pity:: ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-going-to-be-cuddling-my-teddy-bear-tonight/195270/29 "2003-08-16T23:50:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by superstar \* > \*\* > > If you are still young…under 35, you still have alot more relationships (or in your case **7 up yours** ) non-relationships to burn. > \*\* Yeah. Thanks HEAPS **superstar**. Over 35 and I’m doooooomed to a life of lonely misery? ::Wanders off behind Tuckerfan to wallow in an even _deeper_ mire of self-pity:: ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2003, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-going-to-be-cuddling-my-teddy-bear-tonight/195270/30 "2003-08-17T00:03:23Z")
Well there’s your solution **Kam** you and **Tuckerfan** could start of wallowing in a mire of self pity together and end up mud wrestling nekkid together. This could lead to all sorts of post 35yo romancing 😛 ps - what happend to that bloke that ran of to NZ to film movies? ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2003, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-going-to-be-cuddling-my-teddy-bear-tonight/195270/31 "2003-08-17T00:30:15Z")
Oooooh…who’s feeling a bit cheeky this morning then **Leechy**. 😛 Anyway, **Tuckerfan** is too young for me!! I like my blokes a bit like my cheese. [hijack] Oh, and NZ-Film-Bloke came back, and rang me with a ‘business proposition’ (to do with offering a ‘service’ to the public whereby we would offer immunity from telemarketers for a small monthly fee!!!) I realised that he was not quite my type after that. 😃 What time are you heading off then? I’ll be thinking about you tomorrow morning…take it easy and don’t fret about nuffin OK? [/hijack] 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2003, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-going-to-be-cuddling-my-teddy-bear-tonight/195270/32 "2003-08-17T00:37:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kambuckta \* > \*\*Oooooh…who’s feeling a bit cheeky this morning then **Leechy**. 😛 > > Anyway, **Tuckerfan** is too young for me!! I like my blokes a bit like my cheese.\*\* Well, I haven’t had a shower yet today, and it’s in the high 90s so I’m good 'n stinky like cheese. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2003, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-going-to-be-cuddling-my-teddy-bear-tonight/195270/33 "2003-08-17T00:44:28Z")
Yeah, I’ll be 35 next month, and at the moment am feeling like I have zero prospects since the guy I was on-and-off dating offered to help me move almost 3 months ago, and then disappeared off the face of the Earth. Men don’t suck overall - hey, some of my best friends are men - but I definitely seem to be having zero luck in the romance department lately. I recommend spending time with two good friends who always make you smile, namely Ben and Jerry. Or maybe someone wants to start a 30+ flirting thread? (Dammit, no matter how much I’m dying to call that guy - last week I even found out our families basically could have lived next door to each other 100 years ago in Lithuania, which he would definitely think was sooo cool - there is a limit to how much emotional self-flagellation I can engage in.) ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2003, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-going-to-be-cuddling-my-teddy-bear-tonight/195270/34 "2003-08-17T00:52:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tuckerfan \* > \*\*Well, I haven’t had a shower yet today, and it’s in the high 90s so I’m good 'n stinky like cheese. \*\* Matured mate, not rotting. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![bittersweet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c57346/32.png) [@bittersweet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bittersweet)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2003, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-going-to-be-cuddling-my-teddy-bear-tonight/195270/35 "2003-08-17T00:54:44Z")
I’m sorry, **7 up yours**. That sucks. And you’re not pathetic. Sometimes people that don’t know what they want “dabble” in others to see if they’re it, as if we were just a failed hobby instead of a real person with real feelings. Also, take heart - your teddy bear won’t let you down. ---
**Author:** ![bittersweet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c57346/32.png) [@bittersweet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bittersweet)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2003, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-going-to-be-cuddling-my-teddy-bear-tonight/195270/36 "2003-08-17T00:57:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eva Luna \* > \*\*Or maybe someone wants to start a 30+ flirting thread? > \*\* Now _there’s_ an idea… 😉 Do you want to do it, or should I? ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2003, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-going-to-be-cuddling-my-teddy-bear-tonight/195270/37 "2003-08-17T01:05:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bittersweet \* > \*\*Now _there’s_ an idea… 😉 > > Do you want to do it, or should I? \*\* Go ahead, knock youself out. I’m not feeling terribly inspired in that department right now. (On the bright side, I did swap backrubs last night with a guy I’ve had a huge crush on since I was 15, or going on 20 years now. He’s really more in the “old friend” category, plus he’s recently divorced and self-admittedly kind of an emotional mess right now, but it was still nice to hang out, listen to music, and have some human contact. Plus he does give _great_ backrubs. Mmmmm, pianist fingers…) ---
**Author:** ![bittersweet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c57346/32.png) [@bittersweet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bittersweet)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2003, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-going-to-be-cuddling-my-teddy-bear-tonight/195270/38 "2003-08-17T01:15:37Z")
Done. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2003, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-going-to-be-cuddling-my-teddy-bear-tonight/195270/39 "2003-08-17T11:43:17Z")
The guy was obviously a… well actually this isn’t the pit so use your imagination folks! Your gonna meet someone who deserves you. And don’t forget that! ---
**Author:** ![peritrochoid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@peritrochoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peritrochoid)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2003, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-going-to-be-cuddling-my-teddy-bear-tonight/195270/40 "2003-08-17T13:42:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by 7 up yours \* > \*\*Thanks people. > > What I’m upset about is not that it’s over but the fact that he doesn’t even have the decency to call and tell me he’s not interested anymore thus the past two weeks have been wasted waiting by the phone. > > WHY do guys do this? :mad: > > ☹ \*\* I’ve been in his shoes, _and_ I’ve been in your shoes. :rolleyes: I know it’s no consolation, but just be aware that what goes around, comes around. Speaking as a guy, it’s a deep fear of confrontation that brings this on … y’know, the old ignore-it-and-it’ll-go-away philosophy. But, trust me, it _ **will** _ come right back round to bite him on the ass like it did me. I learned from it, and don’t pull those stupid games any longer. If he’s intelligent, he’ll realize his mistake and vow to never repeat it. Sorry you had to be the one in the middle of his life lesson. ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-guess-im-going-to-be-cuddling-my-teddy-bear-tonight/195270.md?page=1)