# I had plans to write a novel, but... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 7, 2001, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-plans-to-write-a-novel-but/57168 "2001-03-07T22:50:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2001, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-plans-to-write-a-novel-but/57168/1 "2001-03-07T22:50:08Z")
As many of you know, I was supposed to go off and write my novel. I announced I was leaving, I emailed TubaDiva and asked her to revoke my posting privileges so I wouldn’t be tempted to post when I should be writing. My plan was to take my tax return check and buy a PC so I could write everynight when I got home from work. Then I got my check (well, direct-deposited into my account, but you know what I mean). I decided to do the responsible thing, I’ll pay off some bills and get caught up on some things, _then_ I’ll buy a PC. You know, I was deeper in debt than I thought. In no time at all my $1500 return was whittled down to $600, not enough for the PC I wanted. Then I bought some new shoes. And a new leather jacket. And I don’t know how much of it I just spent just because I had cash on me (I’m horrible when it comes to impulse buying). So I have no home PC (still) and when I went out and bought ribbon and paper for my old electric typewriter (I was determined to write this book one way or the other) I found out the hard way that my typewriter doesn’t work. So I’m back posting because I’m not about to try to write a novel in longhand (I type faster than I write anyway). I promise when I take off to write my novel again (I’ve got 16 hours of overtime coming up this month and plan to use _that_ money to get the PC I want) I will just slip quietly away. No fanfare, no “I’m leaving again” thread, no nothing, I’ll just quietly slink away as many of you wish I would do anyway. So now that I’m back, what did I miss over the past two weeks, if anything? ---
**Author:** ![Silly\_Rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Silly\_Rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silly_Rabbit)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2001, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-plans-to-write-a-novel-but/57168/2 "2001-03-07T23:09:37Z")
Well, while waiting for the page to load after hitting “post reply”, I fell asleep and now I forgot what I was going to say. WB Crunchmeister… xoxo ---
**Author:** ![tubagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b77776/32.png) [@tubagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tubagirl)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2001, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-plans-to-write-a-novel-but/57168/3 "2001-03-07T23:25:41Z")
hi…😃 ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2001, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-plans-to-write-a-novel-but/57168/4 "2001-03-07T23:37:55Z")
The other problem with the novel (to be perfectly honest) was a little matter with the plot. I haven’t decided on one yet. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2001, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-plans-to-write-a-novel-but/57168/5 "2001-03-07T23:46:48Z")
Aw, c’mon, **Crunchy** - you’ve already told all of us the story that needs to be written - a biography of Halvsie!! You _know_ it’s a winner!! 😃 Good to see ya again! ---
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2001, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-plans-to-write-a-novel-but/57168/6 "2001-03-07T23:46:55Z")
a guy goes insane, intentionally. he differentiats into several different personalities- on efor pain one for romance one for technical stuff one for anger etc he does this so he can handle life better, be more focused on things. be fun how ya doin? ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2001, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-plans-to-write-a-novel-but/57168/7 "2001-03-07T23:52:26Z")
Crunch, let me give you some unsolicited and most likely very unwanted advice: **Start writing now!** Don’t wait for exactly the right circumstances. Don’t wait for the computer. Don’t wait for anything. Just bite that bullet, get out your pen and paper and start writing. My personal experience (which you also didn’t ask for, but I’ma gonna tell you anyways). I wrote all my life. Little scenes on scattered bits of paper. Short descriptions. Character profiles. They were just my own little stories. I kept them neatly stored in piles strategically scattered in my desk at school and then at work, on the floor of my room, in boxes stored in my closet. When I finally did get a home computer I found, to my surprise, that I had already completed a whole novel. My computer was great for organizing all the scenes and whatnot into the form most people will recognize as a “novel”, but the bulk of the work was already done. It took 3 months for me to “write” that first novel. It took a year and a half for me to complete the second one because I thought I had to be in front of the computer in order to get any work done even though the story was there, in my head, just waiting to get out. I now have 7 stories in various states of doneness sitting on my hard drive. When the feeling strikes I work on one whether I’m in front of the computer or not. O.K., so I’m not writing the Great American Novel. I am writing, however and that’s the important part. You’ve got to write if you want to write. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2001, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-plans-to-write-a-novel-but/57168/8 "2001-03-08T00:02:04Z")
Thanks for the advice everyone, but I can’t write in longhand. I just can’t. I hold the pen in hand and stare at the paper, but I just can’t. I need a keyboard to write. And please no suggestions for plots. I don’t want to be influenced here. Besides, wouldn’t you be sort of pissed if I took your idea and got published and made millions of dollars and all you got was your name in the acknowledgements? I have the characters ready. I have scenes ready (on two different projects). I missing that one thing to tie it all together (for one project, the other one is ready to go, but I need something to write on - sorry **Biggirl** - I just can’t do it longhand, I don’t write fast enough for my hand to keep up with my brain), but I’m not really worrying about that right now. I have a basic idea to work with, it’s just still a bit flimsy at this point. At least the days of me banging my head against the keyboard hoping for something usable to be randomly spelled out are over: I was running out of Advil. ---
**Author:** ![Tretiak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e57/32.png) [@Tretiak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tretiak)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2001, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-plans-to-write-a-novel-but/57168/9 "2001-03-08T00:05:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Biggirl \* > \*\*O.K., so I’m not writing the Great American Novel. > \*\* Yeah, don’t waste your time, Philip Roth already wrote it. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![callie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/2acd7d/32.png) [@callie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/callie)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2001, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-plans-to-write-a-novel-but/57168/10 "2001-03-08T01:21:52Z")
I’m glad you’re back **crunchy frog** Missed you! Now I can tell **you** to bite **me** 🙂 (I say this with that tongue thing too) ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2001, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-plans-to-write-a-novel-but/57168/11 "2001-03-08T01:26:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by callie \* > **I’m glad you’re back crunchy frog Missed you!** Who are you? Do I like you? Are you a female? If so, where’s the nekkid pic you owe me? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Totoro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Totoro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totoro)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2001, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-plans-to-write-a-novel-but/57168/12 "2001-03-08T01:32:07Z")
I’m still working on my novel. It’s twenty pages in word! It RULES! ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2001, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-plans-to-write-a-novel-but/57168/13 "2001-03-08T01:37:06Z")
Nobody likes a braggart, **Totoro**. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Eo\_Echo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ebca7d/32.png) [@Eo\_Echo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eo_Echo)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2001, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-plans-to-write-a-novel-but/57168/14 "2001-03-08T01:37:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > \*\*The other problem with the novel (to be perfectly honest) was a little matter with the plot. > > I haven’t decided on one yet. ☹ \*\* My advice: make sure you do. It’ll take really, really long otherwise. I speak from (sob) experience. ---
**Author:** ![OrcaChow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e47c2d/32.png) [@OrcaChow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OrcaChow)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2001, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-plans-to-write-a-novel-but/57168/15 "2001-03-08T01:41:35Z")
Writing doesn’t require a particularly hot PC. $600 should be enough to get you a PC–either new or used–suitable for writing your novel. Granted, the PC probably won’t run many new games, but if you’re serious about the writing, will you let that stop you? Hmmmm? ---
**Author:** ![OrcaChow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e47c2d/32.png) [@OrcaChow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OrcaChow)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2001, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-plans-to-write-a-novel-but/57168/16 "2001-03-08T01:51:48Z")
Neener neener! I’m still working on my novel. It’s two hundred thirty pages and counting. _It_ rules! Or I should say it rules _me_. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2001, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-plans-to-write-a-novel-but/57168/17 "2001-03-08T01:55:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OrcaChow \* > **Neener neener! I’m still working on my novel. It’s two hundred thirty pages and counting. _It_ rules!** With this remark, my indifference towards **OrcaChow** has now turned to a blind raging seething hatred. I wave my private parts at your auntie! I burst my pimples in your direction! My writer’s cramp cripple the hand you favor for masturbation! ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2001, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-plans-to-write-a-novel-but/57168/18 "2001-03-08T01:55:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OrcaChow \* > **Neener neener! I’m still working on my novel. It’s two hundred thirty pages and counting. _It_ rules!** With this remark, my indifference towards **OrcaChow** has now turned to a blind raging seething hatred. I wave my private parts at your auntie! I burst my pimples in your direction! May writer’s cramp cripple the hand you favor for masturbation! ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2001, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-plans-to-write-a-novel-but/57168/19 "2001-03-08T01:57:16Z")
**Crunchy Frog** I already welcomed you back, so I won’t do it again. I sit here at home with my first 'puter in a year, mine went into a coma last March. AMD-K6, 300MHz, 64Mb RAM, big HD, yada yada, for $395 plus tax. Keyboard, speakers, mouse included. Nothing big. You don’t need a $1200 machine to write and surf. I could have gone cheaper if I wanted a word processor. Don’t make cost an excuse. You have all this crap in your head, and it will remain crap until you spew forth the torrent of words that make it a novel. I’m not gonna bite you, but I’ll kick you in the rear if you need it. Post or e-mail me if you want leads to cheaper stuff that works just great. ---
**Author:** ![Sylkyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@Sylkyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylkyn)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2001, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-plans-to-write-a-novel-but/57168/20 "2001-03-08T02:03:33Z")
Oh happy day! My Favorite Frog is once again back at home! Welcome, Ye of Mighty Wit! As glad as I am to see you, I am a little sad for you not starting your novel yet. And as far as computers go, I paid less than $500 for mine. It’s not a brand name or anything, but has tons of space and plenty of RAM, and I have had better luck with it than my friends have had with their NASA’s-in-a-box computers. Check out the places that will build them for you. That’s what I did. Or look in the paper for folks that are wanting to get rid of theirs for newer ones. All you need is Word or something along those lines and it’s “Watch Out Pulitzer Prize” time! And it’s not so bad writing in longhand. In fact, I used to HAVE to do it that way. I couldn’t get started on a typewriter or a computer. Of course, now it’s the other way around, so I can sympathize! Anyway, glad to see you back, Crunchikins. The old place was starting to dull out somewhat. I am happy to have my ray of light back where it belongs… can that sound sappier if I try harder?? 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-plans-to-write-a-novel-but/57168.md?page=2)