# I had sex with an older woman **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 10, 2003, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-sex-with-an-older-woman/167844 "2003-04-10T18:43:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-sex-with-an-older-woman/167844/1 "2003-04-10T18:43:18Z")
Before you ask, it was very nice thank you. That is all. I just have to let everyone know, 'cause I’m feeling very happy right now. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-sex-with-an-older-woman/167844/2 "2003-04-10T18:47:33Z")
How much older? Like, decrepit? Geezer sex? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-sex-with-an-older-woman/167844/3 "2003-04-10T18:51:50Z")
Wait…you had sex…a doper had sex? In the middle of the day? While you should be doing something…uh…useful? Don’t you have some golf balls to drive off the rig ? [heckler]He did drive some balls…he was working on his short game! [/heckler] ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-sex-with-an-older-woman/167844/4 "2003-04-10T18:52:01Z")
Ummm Congratulations… (either to you or her, as the case may be.) ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-sex-with-an-older-woman/167844/5 "2003-04-10T18:53:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kalhoun \* > \*\*Geezer sex? \*\* Eweeeeeeeeeeeeeee…! ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-sex-with-an-older-woman/167844/6 "2003-04-10T18:55:31Z")
I feel dirty just reading this thread. . . Old people. . . Ew. Tripler Ick. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-sex-with-an-older-woman/167844/7 "2003-04-10T19:00:33Z")
I hope you dusted her off first. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-sex-with-an-older-woman/167844/8 "2003-04-10T19:02:55Z")
I’m just hoping the definition of ‘old’ isn’t, say, 31 or something. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-sex-with-an-older-woman/167844/9 "2003-04-10T19:04:11Z")
Thank you all for your concern, but the event itself last took place on Sunday. I’m now on my oil rig in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico. Hopefully I won’t be having any more sex until I get back to dry land. ---
**Author:** ![roadrunner70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@roadrunner70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roadrunner70)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-sex-with-an-older-woman/167844/10 "2003-04-10T19:04:23Z")
Old women are the _best_…gimme a 21, 22 year old _any_ day. I’m tired of that “help me with my homework” sh\*t… ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-sex-with-an-older-woman/167844/11 "2003-04-10T19:04:56Z")
Are we talking Michelle Pfeiffer “older,” Susan Sarandon “older,” or Fay Wray “older?” ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-sex-with-an-older-woman/167844/12 "2003-04-10T19:06:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gorgon Heap \* > I hope you dusted her off first. There’s my gut bust for the day. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-sex-with-an-older-woman/167844/13 "2003-04-10T19:14:32Z")
Old guy walks into his doctor’s office. Old guy: "Doc, I just had sex with a 20-year old girl!’ Doc: “Are you okay? Pull a muscle or something?” Old Guy: “I haven’t felt this good in 30 years!” Doc: “Then why are you telling me this?” Old guy says, “You kidding? I’m telling _everybody!_” ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-sex-with-an-older-woman/167844/14 "2003-04-10T19:21:16Z")
I keep pictuing the phrase “fallen uterus” ---
**Author:** ![carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrot)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-sex-with-an-older-woman/167844/15 "2003-04-10T19:23:28Z")
Robbing the grave, eh? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-sex-with-an-older-woman/167844/16 "2003-04-10T19:24:14Z")
What’s crochety sex like? Was this with or without teeth? ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-sex-with-an-older-woman/167844/17 "2003-04-10T19:26:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CRorex \* > \*\*I keep pictuing the phrase “fallen uterus” \*\* BAND NAME!! Tripler Dibs! I’m manager! ---
**Author:** ![carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrot)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-sex-with-an-older-woman/167844/18 "2003-04-10T19:33:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tripler \* > \*\*BAND NAME!! \*\* I’m seeing a kind of new-grungy, pseudo-intellectual, manic-depressive, melodic hardcore type of thing. [sub]can i be a roadie? i’ve always wanted to be a roadie.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Frank\_2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Frank\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank_2)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-sex-with-an-older-woman/167844/19 "2003-04-10T19:38:34Z")
Your theme song, courtesy of The Beastie Boys: This one’s dedicated to all the ladies in the front, the back All my older ladies out there, lookin nice, you know who you are Whew! I need you, boomin granny, I said I want you, boomin granny Boomin granny, boomin fanny Boomin granny, good and plenty Well it might sound odd it might sound corny But here’s some sex rhymes for those that are horny For your boomin granny with the boomin sisters Said I love ya won’t leave ya, till ya gotta listen I’m talkin about the way that I’m feeling Here’s a lovely lady and so appealing A sassy, sophisticated, sexy lady Well I’m twenty six, and you’re eighty The clock is ticking so you better not front We can go to my place and we can smoke a blunt Well you’re a Golden Girl, just like P.R. Just turn down the lights so we can go far Because I saw you at the checkout line You dropped your coupons and you were lookin fine Sophisticated, and so mature I couldn’t really care if you’re fifty, or seventy four Because I wantcha, and I need ya Hey boomin granny you could be my teacher And I could be ya pet, bet Listen old lady I could make ya sweat I know I’m younger, and your much older You look so nice on my Chevy Nova I’ma take you to the low rider show, and flauntcha I gotta tell ya lady I said I wantcha, boomin granny Because I need you, boomin granny ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-sex-with-an-older-woman/167844/20 "2003-04-10T19:48:44Z")
My boyfriend Ernie said to me, “Soph, when I am 80 years old I am going to marry myself a 20-year-old girl.” I said to him, “Ernie, when I am 80 years old, I am going to marry myself a 20-year-old boy. And let me tell you something, Ernie—20 goes into 80 a helluva lot more than 80 goes into 20!” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-sex-with-an-older-woman/167844.md?page=2)