# I had that little talk with my daughter last night; as she is 9, it was a little late **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 9, 2006, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-that-little-talk-with-my-daughter-last-night-as-she-is-9-it-was-a-little-late/379724 "2006-11-09T17:16:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-that-little-talk-with-my-daughter-last-night-as-she-is-9-it-was-a-little-late/379724/21 "2006-11-09T18:47:20Z")
[QUOTE=Anaamika] Yeah, and I’m all for talking to kids early, like early teens, but that seemed early even for me. [/QUOTE] Actually, no, not IMO. You wait until early teens, they’re too self-consciously giggling and appalled that you don’t think they already know all this stuff. Certainly not likely to ask you any questions, lest you think _they_ … you know, have a direct and immediate need to know the answers. The nine year old is just gonna ask (and listen, then say “Ewwww, that’s so gross!”, then ask the next question). ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-that-little-talk-with-my-daughter-last-night-as-she-is-9-it-was-a-little-late/379724/22 "2006-11-09T18:50:49Z")
[QUOTE=Giles] And I don’t think 9 years old it too young to learn something about the facts of life, like “Daddy puts a seed inside Mummy, and nine months later (if all goes well) a baby is born.”. [/QUOTE] Geesh, **FOUR** is not too young for that part! I was thinking more in terms of “…and when you _don’t_ want a baby, here’s how you keep the seeds from doing that”, along with “grownups do this lots of times not because they want babies but because when you grow up you get hungry for it and it feels good”. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-that-little-talk-with-my-daughter-last-night-as-she-is-9-it-was-a-little-late/379724/23 "2006-11-09T18:56:31Z")
[QUOTE=AHunter3] Geesh, **FOUR** is not too young for that part! [/QUOTE] Yes, you’re right – I was putting it in terms that a four-year-old could understand. [QUOTE=Rufus T. Firefly, in Duck Soup] Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child, I can’t make head or tail of it. [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-that-little-talk-with-my-daughter-last-night-as-she-is-9-it-was-a-little-late/379724/24 "2006-11-09T19:00:17Z")
[QUOTE=StinkyBurrito] I was a little concerned that age 9 was too late for the sex talk when I read the OP’s title. [/QUOTE] I have taken a few lessons on this board on phrasing a title in an eye-catching and yet humorous way. I hope this means it worked without upsetting anyone. I am honestly, just not ready for that other “big” talk. My daughter has a good understanding of biology, so the basic facts are already in place. I believe my wife and I will probably handle the “Big” talk together. It sounds like a $1 is still reasonable. Maybe, I should go to $2. [QUOTE=Anaamika] [QUOTE=What Exit?] Last time, I tripped on a toy and almost woke her up and I had to wait another 30 minutes before making the exchange. [/QUOTE] Bwahahaha. Very funny, I can picture it. [/QUOTE] It gets worse; my daughter has a raised castle bed with a slide. I once stumbled behind the slide on some beads and when I heard her murmuring half-awake, I had to duck under her bed and wait quietly for 5 minutes to sneak back out. I almost did not bother with a second attempt that time. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-that-little-talk-with-my-daughter-last-night-as-she-is-9-it-was-a-little-late/379724/25 "2006-11-09T19:00:24Z")
[QUOTE=Velma] Early teens?! I got my first period when I was 12, and I was not the first of my friends. I got sex education in my conservative private school in 4th grade, when I was 9 and I already knew some basic stuff by then from my older sister and my friends. I think telling kids age appropriate stuff as they grow is the way to go, myself. No sense saving it all up for one big talk. [/QUOTE] To be honest, I don’t much care. I never had any kind of talk, my mother never said the word sex to me until she called me a whore, and I don’t plan to have any kids of my own. I agree with you generally but this really is a hijack for a toss-away comment on my part, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-that-little-talk-with-my-daughter-last-night-as-she-is-9-it-was-a-little-late/379724/26 "2006-11-09T19:14:43Z")
[QUOTE=FatBaldGuy] Several years ago one of our friends had a daughter leave for college. She thought it would be a good idea to send the daughter an “anonymous” note, with disguised handwriting, congratulating and encouraging her on this big step in her life. A few days later the daughter thanked her for the note. My friend asked, “How did you know it was from me?” The daughter’s reply, “It was in the same handwriting as Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy.” [/QUOTE] Heh, that’s exactly how I figured it all out. I think I was five when I noticed that Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and MY MOM all had the exact same handwriting. My daughter is fifteen now, and during the tooth-losing years, she got a dollar for each, except for the two front teeth, which each got five. When my daughter was seven, she told me that she’d known for two years that there’s no Santa Claus, because of [Globe Santa](http://www.globesanta.org/). She said “If there really was a Santa Claus, I don’t think he’d skip the poor kids.” I don’t think I’ve ever been so simultaneously sad and proud. ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-that-little-talk-with-my-daughter-last-night-as-she-is-9-it-was-a-little-late/379724/27 "2006-11-09T19:23:39Z")
My nine-year-old daughter reported to me last week that there was no Tooth Fairy, because she had friends who put teeth under their pillows at night, **but didn’t tell their parents about it.** Predictably, no money the next morning. But, when these same friends hid their teeth, and told mummy and daddy about it, voila, money the next day! Ergo, parents are the Tooth Fairy, exclaimed my daughter. Gotta love a real-life example of the scientific method at work! ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-that-little-talk-with-my-daughter-last-night-as-she-is-9-it-was-a-little-late/379724/28 "2006-11-09T20:16:18Z")
[QUOTE=Doctor Who] I just want to tell everyone that my mother was the _sneakiest_ at the tooth fairy. Definitely a subscriber to the “work smarter, not harder” theory of tooth fairying. Here’s how things would typically go down: I would put my tooth under my pillow, tuck in for the night, and wake up excited. Literally every time, every single time, when I woke, up… THE TOOTH WAS STILL THERE! Perturbed, I would dash into my mother’s room and wake her up! “The tooth fairy didn’t come! The tooth fairy didn’t come!” “Really,” She would say calmly, “Let’s go take a look.” Holding back tears, I would follow my mother into my bedroom. Where she would procede to look around and “inspect” things. “Wait!” She would cry, “Here’s the dollar! The tooth is gone… The tooth fairy must have come while you came to wake me up!!!” I would spend the rest of the day alternatively marvelling at how quickly and quietly the tooth fairy stole into our house, feeling slightly uneasy that such a creature had such ready-made access to my bedroom, and kicking myself for leaving the room and missing a chance to glimpse such an elusive fairy. I don’t think I wisened up to my mom’s little switcharoo until I was 27. [/QUOTE] Yeah, that’s been the Tooth Fairy’s M.O. the past two or three times in my house. The last time, she even managed to scrawl a quick note of apology and slip it under Kizarvexilla’s pillow while the disappointed youngster was taking her morning bath. Recently, I set up a jar in the kitchen where spare change is to be deposited for the “visit Mommy” fund. The other day I noticed a couple of dollar bills had found their way into the jar. Kizarvexilla, all smiles, announced that she had donated her gifts from the Tooth Fairy. I was deeply touched, as was Mommy when I told her about it. ---
**Author:** ![shizaru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@shizaru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shizaru)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-that-little-talk-with-my-daughter-last-night-as-she-is-9-it-was-a-little-late/379724/29 "2006-11-09T20:24:49Z")
[QUOTE=Sal Ammoniac] I think I pay a dollar, but the kids don’t care all that much, and they usually forget or lose the tooth. Even though I’ve been faithfully keeping all the teeth I collect in an old film cannister, it seems like I hardly have enough to kit out a newborn. [/QUOTE] \*\*A DOLLAR! \*\* I used to only get a dime! Am I that old? And whattaya mean theres no Tooth Fairy? ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-that-little-talk-with-my-daughter-last-night-as-she-is-9-it-was-a-little-late/379724/30 "2006-11-09T20:28:45Z")
Wow, I feel special. I am 24 and I don’t live with my parents anymore but I still get gifts from Santa. I would say $1 or $1.50 would be good for a tooth these days. My parents used to help me put my tooth in a sandwich bag to “help the tooth fairy store all the other teeth she collected that night.” Eventually I figured out that it was just so my parents could find my tooth much easier and not have to dig around under my pillow for too long. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-that-little-talk-with-my-daughter-last-night-as-she-is-9-it-was-a-little-late/379724/31 "2006-11-09T20:37:11Z")
[QUOTE=shizaru] \*\*A DOLLAR! \*\* I used to only get a dime! Am I that old? And whattaya mean theres no Tooth Fairy? [/QUOTE] Gee, I am 40 and my parents were on the poorer side and I got a quarter as a kid. A dime would have bought nothing. I am not too worry about the money, I was just wondering if I was being cheap with only a dollar. She gets $5 a week in allowance for taking care of the scoopable kitty litter and keeping an eye on the cat food and water. So far she is just saving her money for some undetermined goal. Jim ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-that-little-talk-with-my-daughter-last-night-as-she-is-9-it-was-a-little-late/379724/32 "2006-11-09T20:54:09Z")
I got a dollar. My parents apparently didn’t want to risk searching around under the pillow and waking me up; I had a special tiny pillow with a pocket in it for the tooth that I hung from the pully-thing on the fan. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-that-little-talk-with-my-daughter-last-night-as-she-is-9-it-was-a-little-late/379724/33 "2006-11-09T20:59:29Z")
I don’t remember what I used to get. **gonzomax** , care to enlighten us? This is also a good time for you to come and snark up my question. ---
**Author:** ![Strinka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strinka/32/512_2.png) [@Strinka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strinka)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-that-little-talk-with-my-daughter-last-night-as-she-is-9-it-was-a-little-late/379724/34 "2006-11-09T21:11:31Z")
Wait… If there’s no Tooth Fairy… Then who’s been drinking the vodka I leave for her? ---
**Author:** ![Velma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/85e7bf/32.png) [@Velma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velma)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-that-little-talk-with-my-daughter-last-night-as-she-is-9-it-was-a-little-late/379724/35 "2006-11-09T21:17:40Z")
[QUOTE=Anaamika] To be honest, I don’t much care. I never had any kind of talk, my mother never said the word sex to me until she called me a whore, and I don’t plan to have any kids of my own. I agree with you generally but this really is a hijack for a toss-away comment on my part, isn’t it? [/QUOTE] Ok, then… I’m not trying to force you to talk about something you don’t care about. The topic was bound to come up the way the thread is titled, so I was just reacting to your toss-away comment, that’s all. The rest of my post was about the tooth fairy, etc. on topic. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-that-little-talk-with-my-daughter-last-night-as-she-is-9-it-was-a-little-late/379724/36 "2006-11-09T21:26:07Z")
[QUOTE=AHunter3] Geesh, **FOUR** is not too young for that part! [/QUOTE] Absolutely - [this](http://www.amazon.co.uk/Where-Did-Come-Peter-Mayle/dp/0330331132/sr=8-1/qid=1163107331/ref=pd_ka_1/026-6013339-1126850?ie=UTF8&s=books) featured in my early reading material. [QUOTE=AHunter3] Actually, no, not IMO. You wait until early teens, they’re too self-consciously giggling and appalled that you don’t think they already know all this stuff. [/QUOTE] Also agreed. I had one pupil this week, aged 13, complaining about how the school waste half-a-day every few months repeating sex education lessons, including the classic line “do they think we’re going to forget about it?” ---
**Author:** ![myskepticsight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@myskepticsight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/myskepticsight)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-that-little-talk-with-my-daughter-last-night-as-she-is-9-it-was-a-little-late/379724/37 "2006-11-09T21:32:14Z")
I don’t remember how much I got for teeth. I’m 20 now. Probably a dollar. I figured out Santa Claus wasn’t realy pretty early on - my parents have easily recognizable handwriting and I noticed. I don’t think I ever said anything, but eventually some presents started saying other things in the ‘from’ area. Now I’ll have presents that say ‘from: Mom and Dad’ or ‘from: Edward Norton’ or ‘from: whatever band I like that I told them about recently and they remembered’ etc. My parents think they’re funny. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-that-little-talk-with-my-daughter-last-night-as-she-is-9-it-was-a-little-late/379724/38 "2006-11-09T22:02:40Z")
Folks, the tooth faerie is very real. She just takes a different form when you grow up. She doesn’t wait for the tooth to fall out, she forcibly rips it from your jaw, then demands that you pay her for the privilege. And it’s a hell of a lot more than a dollar. Fucking thug. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Il_Palazzo)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-that-little-talk-with-my-daughter-last-night-as-she-is-9-it-was-a-little-late/379724/39 "2006-11-09T22:33:38Z")
I got one dollar per tooth, though I’m only 20 so it’s still fairly recent. Five dollars seems high. Maybe if the kid got hew wisdom teeth out or something, I’d think about leaving five dollars each, but for run of the mill baby tooth loss, one dollar seems just fine. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-that-little-talk-with-my-daughter-last-night-as-she-is-9-it-was-a-little-late/379724/40 "2006-11-09T23:00:14Z")
I was supposed to get money?? Just kidding, I got maybe 15 or 35 cents a tooth. I guess whatever little bit was lying around, but not more than maybe 35. The tooth fairy was the only myth my parents perpetuated. Santa Claus no, and while we did have Easter candy hunts, we knew that our parents hid the candy and drew the maps (separate sets for me and my brother). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-that-little-talk-with-my-daughter-last-night-as-she-is-9-it-was-a-little-late/379724.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-that-little-talk-with-my-daughter-last-night-as-she-is-9-it-was-a-little-late/379724.md?page=3)