# I had this thought... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 4, 2006, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-this-thought/355469 "2006-05-04T23:24:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Cagey\_Drifter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@Cagey\_Drifter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cagey_Drifter)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-this-thought/355469/1 "2006-05-04T23:24:09Z")
Maybe I should get a bunch of pieces of saltwater taffy and iron them at the highest setting. ---
**Author:** ![Ludy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Ludy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludy)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-this-thought/355469/2 "2006-05-04T23:28:16Z")
For any particular reason, or just for shits and giggles? ---
**Author:** ![Linty\_Fresh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Linty\_Fresh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linty_Fresh)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-this-thought/355469/3 "2006-05-04T23:54:44Z")
Make sure you wear pants. Trust me on this!! ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2006, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-this-thought/355469/4 "2006-05-05T00:22:34Z")
If you’re going to be experimenting, make sure you microwave some of it too. Don’t forget the camcorder! ---
**Author:** ![Sal\_Ammoniac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Sal\_Ammoniac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sal_Ammoniac)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2006, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-this-thought/355469/5 "2006-05-05T00:26:53Z")
And will you be wearing them to work afterwards? ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2006, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-this-thought/355469/6 "2006-05-05T02:03:05Z")
Put the taffy in your pants, iron them, then go to work. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2006, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-this-thought/355469/7 "2006-05-05T02:29:10Z")
I thought I was a penguin once. This, too, passed. Ironed saltwater taffy, however… ---
**Author:** ![Linty\_Fresh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Linty\_Fresh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linty_Fresh)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2006, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-this-thought/355469/8 "2006-05-05T02:46:46Z")
> [@Rysdad](#): > > Put the taffy in your pants, iron them, then go to work. OK, wait, I’m confused. Do you mean put the taffy in your pants, then put your pants on, and then iron, or iron the pants and _then_ put them on? Or should we wait until we’re at work to put the pants on? ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2006, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-this-thought/355469/9 "2006-05-05T04:09:21Z")
> [@Cagey Drifter](#): > > Maybe I should get a bunch of pieces of saltwater taffy and iron them at the highest setting. This is one of those “you know, this will probably end badly” ideas. ---
**Author:** ![Cagey\_Drifter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@Cagey\_Drifter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cagey_Drifter)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2006, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-this-thought/355469/10 "2006-05-05T19:15:23Z")
at first, i thought about how satisfying it would be to feel that hard, firm lump of taffy melt under the scorching heat of the iron. I could feel, in my mind, the mass easing into a soft liquid under the steam. but then i thought about how gooey and sticky it would be, oozing out all over the place, and how hard it’s going to be to clean up, and then the taffy starting to stick to everything like my hands and clothes, and there’s no way to get it off the iron because it’s so damn hot, but it’s still sticking to the surface of it, getting hotter and hotter, and stickier and stickier, as I stand by helpless, watching the sugar caramelize and that putrid burning odor come belching out. meanwhile, melted taffy is flowing onto the floor, getting embedded in the carpet. and there’s no turning back. ---
**Author:** ![Sal\_Ammoniac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Sal\_Ammoniac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sal_Ammoniac)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2006, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-this-thought/355469/11 "2006-05-05T19:31:30Z")
Well, don’t say we didn’t tell you so. At least, I think we did. Did we? Okay, okay, it’s all our fault! We’re so sorry! We’ll be right over to clean up the mess! ---
**Author:** ![velvetjones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5f9b8f/32.png) [@velvetjones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velvetjones)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2006, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-this-thought/355469/12 "2006-05-05T20:31:28Z")
when I was a child, in the days before hair straightening irons (think early 70s) my older sister used to ask me to iron her hair. she had naturally curly hair that she wanted to be straight as was the style back then. She’d lay her head down on the ironing board. I’d brush her hair flat against the ironing board and then apply the hot iron. (I don’t recall the heat setting and whether or not there was steam involved) If only you’d told me the taffy idea sooner. Good Times. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2006, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-this-thought/355469/13 "2006-05-05T20:59:06Z")
I hear that there’s a way to make coasters with taffy and an iron. It’s a lot like those potholders you make with the little loops of colored twine and the little loom-like thing where you sort of weave them and then take the ends off the loom and make a neat border by sticking one end through the next one and going all around until you have them all interlocked. With the taffy, it’s more like plaiting several of them together before you iron them, then putting them in the freezer for a few days. You hardly ever see these things at craft shows, though. ---
**Author:** ![Cagey\_Drifter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@Cagey\_Drifter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cagey_Drifter)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2006, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-this-thought/355469/14 "2006-05-05T21:01:16Z")
now that’s a good bar snack, if I’ve ever heard of one. ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2006, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-this-thought/355469/15 "2006-05-05T21:10:24Z")
You should try to put these thoughts out of your mind. I can only speculate it will end badly. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2006, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-this-thought/355469/16 "2006-05-05T21:23:38Z")
Don’t listen to any of these clean-floor-having-non-fire-department-visited Nancy boys. I also suggest your experiment on a full bottle of Log Cabin maple syrup. Yeah…… that would be great. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2006, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-this-thought/355469/17 "2006-05-05T21:52:05Z")
I’d like to suggest a taffy cake or taffy pie with lots of prunes and avocado slices, baked for 30 minutes at 500 degrees and sliced real thin and served with lots of lime sherbet. ---
**Author:** ![Linty\_Fresh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Linty\_Fresh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linty_Fresh)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2006, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-this-thought/355469/18 "2006-05-05T22:47:41Z")
> [@Cagey Drifter](#): > > at first, i thought about how satisfying it would be to feel that hard, firm lump of taffy melt under the scorching heat of the iron. I could feel, in my mind, the mass easing into a soft liquid under the steam. but then i thought about how gooey and sticky it would be, oozing out all over the place, and how hard it’s going to be to clean up, and then the taffy starting to stick to everything like my hands and clothes, and there’s no way to get it off the iron because it’s so damn hot, but it’s still sticking to the surface of it, getting hotter and hotter, and stickier and stickier, as I stand by helpless, watching the sugar caramelize and that putrid burning odor come belching out. meanwhile, melted taffy is flowing onto the floor, getting embedded in the carpet. and there’s no turning back. Does this paragraph make me hungry or horny? I can’t decide. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2006, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-this-thought/355469/19 "2006-05-05T22:54:40Z")
> [@Cagey Drifter](#): > > at first, i thought about how satisfying it would be to feel that hard, firm lump of taffy melt under the scorching heat of the iron. I could feel, in my mind, the mass easing into a soft liquid under the steam. but then i thought about how gooey and sticky it would be, oozing out all over the place, and how hard it’s going to be to clean up, and then the taffy starting to stick to everything like my hands and clothes, and there’s no way to get it off the iron because it’s so damn hot, but it’s still sticking to the surface of it, getting hotter and hotter, and stickier and stickier, as I stand by helpless, watching the sugar caramelize and that putrid burning odor come belching out. meanwhile, melted taffy is flowing onto the floor, getting embedded in the carpet. and there’s no turning back. Clearly, you’re a worrier. Consequences are for someone else to deal with. Just do it! ---
**Author:** ![Cagey\_Drifter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@Cagey\_Drifter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cagey_Drifter)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2006, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-this-thought/355469/20 "2006-05-05T23:09:26Z")
> [@Linty Fresh](#): > > Does this paragraph make me hungry or horny? I can’t decide. judging from the bit about a “putrid burning odor belching out”, I’d guess the latter. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-had-this-thought/355469.md?page=2)