# I hate bad dates. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 11, 2006, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-bad-dates/347915 "2006-03-11T05:39:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-bad-dates/347915/21 "2006-03-12T01:24:46Z")
Wow, someone beat me to it. I went on a dating blitz in February, meeting six women and going on seven dates. I told myself early on that I’m doing this mainly to _meet_ people, not necessarily to meet the love of my life. I thought that if I did that, then I wouldn’t come off as desperate or weird to other women. Four of the women I had varying degrees of interest in, but they didn’t feel the same way ☹ The last two dates were actually nice for perspective, it was a mutual ‘meh’. So at least I didn’t feel like my feelings on everyone I meet are one-sided. This month I am kind of taking a break on it. I’m not quitting altogether, but maybe just trying not to feel as ‘determined’ about meeting people as i used to. The problem for me was that I equated dating with other aspects in life- I believed the harder I worked on it, the more I would get out of the effort. But unlike working hard to earn a promotion, or studying hard for an exam, you can’t win people over by sheer effort, and sometimes trying _too_ hard is just as counterproductive as not trying hard enough. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-bad-dates/347915/22 "2006-03-12T01:57:19Z")
> [@Stranger On A Train](#): > > I alternate between not being able to get any dates to having a small spurt… Does your date know while you’re having a small spurt? That could be your problem right there. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-bad-dates/347915/23 "2006-03-12T02:36:48Z")
I hate that dating is relatively easy but finding that _right_ person is so unbelievably difficult. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-bad-dates/347915/24 "2006-03-12T04:30:17Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > I hate that dating is relatively easy but finding that _right_ person is so unbelievably difficult. Yeah. Its also disappointing when you really feel like you ‘click’ with someone, you feel that the chemistry is there, but they have absolutely _zero_ interest in you. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-bad-dates/347915/25 "2006-03-12T04:35:21Z")
I have been on a total of five actual dates in my lifetime. What’s my prize? Oh, right. Loneliness… ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-bad-dates/347915/26 "2006-03-12T06:05:30Z")
I empathize, **bouv**. **Incubus:** > [@](#): > > Yeah. Its also disappointing when you really feel like you ‘click’ with someone, you feel that the chemistry is there, but they have absolutely zero interest in you. And we’ve come full circle to the OP. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-bad-dates/347915/27 "2006-03-12T06:12:35Z")
Eh, I’m looking forward to dating again. Just coming out of a five-year, off-and-on, dysfunctional, creepily co-dependant relationship. The whole time I’ve had no interest in looking around at anyone else, because the thing coincided with something of a low point in every other area of my life. Now I’m more secure everywhere else, making proper money again – time to go back to the gym, find some amusing things to do, and some nice, relatively sane people to try to charm. :bats eyelashes over big cow eyes: I guess I’ll be back to grumble about it in a couple of months when it starts to get old. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-bad-dates/347915/28 "2006-03-12T06:16:24Z")
It’s so cliche, but it really will just happen one day. Love is incredible that way. Everyone says it, but honestly, that’s because it’s true. I am absolutely blessed with the woman I’m currently dating and I would’ve never in my wildest dreams imagined going out with such a beautiful, intelligent and mature woman with an awesome personality to boot. Hang in there, and, oh yeah, be sure to let your built-up tension loose every once in a while… ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-bad-dates/347915/29 "2006-03-12T06:28:23Z")
I had an “encounter” with an exqisitely beautiful redhead at Jungle gardens last week. She held the door open for me in the giftshop. I thanked her and she gave me a knockout smile. I browsed that gift shop for a full 20 minutes and everywhere I went she was no more than a few feet away. She seemingly sgadowed me through every move in the giftshop. I wanted so badly to just make conversaion, “Isn’t that the coolest paperweight you’ve ever seen?” or something like that. I missed my opportunity, I said nothing. Now I just got a dreamy regret. ---
**Author:** ![mrald](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3da27b/32.png) [@mrald](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrald)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-bad-dates/347915/30 "2006-03-12T08:41:02Z")
I got married at 19. Some days no dates and no prospects sounds so good… ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-bad-dates/347915/31 "2006-03-12T08:42:20Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > I hate that dating is relatively easy… You freak. 😉 Stranger ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-bad-dates/347915/32 "2006-03-12T09:22:11Z")
> [@fetus](#): > > It’s so cliche, but it really will just happen one day. Love is incredible that way. Unless, of course, it doesn’t. Of course, you never hear how the story ends for those people, because their cats ate them after they died alone and unloved (except the cats, who probably found them quite tasty). Anyway, the point is, that I know plenty of perfectly nice, lovely people for whom it never happened. They just don’t talk about it. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-bad-dates/347915/33 "2006-03-12T12:49:40Z")
> [@FilmGeek](#): > > You beat me to it. > > Bastards. My day is made! ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-bad-dates/347915/34 "2006-03-12T14:16:09Z")
> [@Stranger On A Train](#): > > You freak. 😉 > > Stranger You… ummm… rocket scietinst! 😛 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-bad-dates/347915/35 "2006-03-12T14:27:26Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > Don’t be. No matter _what_ your gripe, there’s always someone with a worse gripe of a similar sort. Doesn’t undermine the validity of yours. At the office, we call that a competition on D\*ck size. You think YOU’VE got it bad! \ Lookit MY situation. It really really really bugs me. ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-bad-dates/347915/36 "2006-03-12T16:39:43Z")
**amarinth:** > [@](#): > > Unless, of course, it doesn’t. Of course, you never hear how the story ends for those people, because their cats ate them after they died alone and unloved (except the cats, who probably found them quite tasty). > > Anyway, the point is, that I know plenty of perfectly nice, lovely people for whom it never happened. They just don’t talk about it. Yup. I often wonder what percentage of the American population above the age of, say, 35 are unhappily and perpetually single. I think it’s higher than people think. ---
**Author:** ![anu-la1979](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/47e85d/32.png) [@anu-la1979](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anu-la1979)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-bad-dates/347915/37 "2006-03-12T17:25:43Z")
I’ve got to agree with Quicksilver, though. Dating is easy, it’s finding someone you don’t want to stab with a spork that’s hard. Oh, that spork thing might just be me…but I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-bad-dates/347915/38 "2006-03-12T17:48:26Z")
> [@fetus](#): > > It’s so cliche, but it really will just happen one day. Love is incredible that way. Everyone says it, but honestly, that’s because it’s true. I hate it when people say things like this. No, it really won’t “just happen” one day. If someone waits around for love to come to them, most likely it won’t. And even if they tackle it head on, it might not. Would anyone say that about, say, a job? “You’ll get your dream job. It will just happen one day!” How about the lottery? “You’ll win the lottery. It will just happen!” Gah. Sorry to be so grumpy, but I see this attitude all the time and it’s unfair and unkind to tell people that they just have to be patient and wait around and everything will be okay. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-bad-dates/347915/39 "2006-03-12T18:13:44Z")
> [@anu-la1979](#): > > I’ve got to agree with Quicksilver, though. Dating is easy, it’s finding someone you don’t want to stab with a spork that’s hard. Oh, that spork thing might just be me…but I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about. I’ll third that emotion. 🙂 > [@jsgoddess](#): > > I hate it when people say things like this. Me, too! I also hate when people say things like “just live your life doing what interests you and you’ll meet men” or “join some clubs and you’ll meet men.” I work full-time, I go to grad school (in an actual classroom), I’m very active in Toastmasters, I do volunteer work, I play poker once a week, and I’ve been in a few bands. I couldn’t fit another activity or interest into my life if I wanted to, yet I haven’t had a date with someone I didn’t meet online – via either a dating site or a message board – since 1997! (To be fair, it’s not that I haven’t met _any_ men IRL, it’s just that so far there’s been no mutual interest.) ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-bad-dates/347915/40 "2006-03-12T18:57:11Z")
Hey **Misnomer** : we could always use another player in our bi-weekly, low-stakes poker game. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-bad-dates/347915.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-bad-dates/347915.md?page=3)