# I hate capitalism (toilet related) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 20, 2009, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-capitalism-toilet-related/482175 "2009-01-20T18:42:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-capitalism-toilet-related/482175/41 "2009-01-21T16:42:50Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > How do you feel about copper clappers? Tell us more about the copper clapper caper! ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-capitalism-toilet-related/482175/42 "2009-01-21T16:46:20Z")
> [@Carson\_O\_Genic](#): > > More the reason for urgent offshoring. And guilt-free, provided we give the dusky little savages a slightly better wage than they’d enjoy whilst farming their own excrement… ---
**Author:** ![UncleNito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7cd45c/32.png) [@UncleNito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleNito)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-capitalism-toilet-related/482175/43 "2009-01-21T16:50:15Z")
> [@Carson\_O\_Genic](#): > > More the reason for urgent offshoring. But think of the transaction and transportation costs! I’m not going all the way to Pakistan just to drop a deuce. ---
**Author:** ![Llama\_Llogophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-capitalism-toilet-related/482175/44 "2009-01-21T19:08:31Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > If it’s not too personal, and you can get the proper angularity without exposing yourself to too much of your bathroom floor, why don’t you post a pic of your toilet (a good front and side shot would be helpful), and let’s see if we can’t narrow this down a bit, and get you, uh, back in business. Thanks, I may take you up on that. When I get home later tonight I’ll see about a photo. Watch for a PM. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Moto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-capitalism-toilet-related/482175/45 "2009-01-21T20:15:12Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > **Seriously:** [Locke Plumbing](http://www.lockplumbing.com/toiletguide.htm) Huh. A more direct answer, I suppose, than Lockean plumbing, which would say that you had a natural right to your toilet derived from your labor. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-capitalism-toilet-related/482175/46 "2009-01-21T20:23:47Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > You rang? If you’re an expert on toilet flappers, this gives your username a whole new meaning. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-capitalism-toilet-related/482175/47 "2009-01-21T20:38:56Z")
> [@Acid\_Lamp](#): > > I was going to post this. It’s really easy. Having done this myself, you forgot some critical steps. a. Snap off rusty bolts holding tank on. b. Drive to hardware store for new bolts. c. Get home and notice that weird goo around rusty bolt is a long-corroded rubber gasket d. Drive back for new gaskets. e. While fumbling inserting bolts into tank, drop your socket into the bowl. Reach in hand and fish out socket. f. Stand up cursing, and back into the pedestal sink behind you, snapping the mounting bolt on the wall. g. Take a break for a bottle of wine, and reassess your weekend plans. ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-capitalism-toilet-related/482175/48 "2009-01-21T22:29:44Z")
> [@scout1222](#): > > If you’re an expert on toilet flappers, this gives your username a whole new meaning. Nah, just handy around the house. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Moto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-capitalism-toilet-related/482175/49 "2009-01-21T22:40:24Z")
> [@GargoyleWB](#): > > g. Take a break for a bottle of wine, and reassess your weekend plans. What the hell are you, a French plumber or something? I find good old American rye helps the home improvement projects along, but I’m kind of old school that way. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-capitalism-toilet-related/482175/50 "2009-01-21T22:51:26Z")
> [@Mach Tuck](#): > > This has killed my entire buzz about Obama becoming president because I no longer believe in our way of life. And I can’t flush my toilet, which is bound to become a problem in a week or two. Well, look at it this way-not only can yellow be mellow, but brown can now stick around, just like the good reverand said. ---
**Author:** ![TommyTutone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c4cdca/32.png) [@TommyTutone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TommyTutone)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-capitalism-toilet-related/482175/51 "2009-01-22T14:38:56Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > Here’s what you do- more work than just removing the flapper, but much cheaper than hiring a plumber. > > 1. Turn off the water at the valve under the tank. > 2. Flush the toilet. > 3. Hi, Opal! > 4. Use a sponge or paper towel to remove the rest of the water from the tank. > 5. Unscrew the brass bolts holding the tank to the bowl flange. > 6. Remove tank. > 7. Remove the rubber bushing from underneath the tank surrounding the hole to the toilet. > 8. Unscrew the ring holding the whole pipe assembly inside the tank, to which the flapper is attached. > 9. Buy any standard tank fill assembly. > 10. Follow instructions inside box. > 11. Turn on water. > 12. Begin flushing with nary a worry about a leaky flapper. > > Total cost- about $11 and one hour of your time. I was going to recommend the same thing. I am very NOT handy, but I have replaced all of the innards for all four toilets in my house, and have been successful each time. Oh, you did misspell number 3 though, it’s supposed to be ‘lick my hairy nutsack you crazy ass bitch.’ ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-capitalism-toilet-related/482175/52 "2009-01-22T16:55:29Z")
> [@Mr.Moto](#): > > This is a particularly nasty practical joke I saw guys play on each other in the Navy - they called it an “upper deck.” The [Greaseman](http://www.greaseman.org/) has been calling that an upper decker for as long as I can remember. Has he ever made it back on the air? ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-capitalism-toilet-related/482175/53 "2009-01-22T17:39:22Z")
Replacing the entire tank assembly runs the risk of overtightening and cracking the plastic bolt where the inlet tube meets the tank. If that happens, then the OP really has a headache. If the flapper’s the problem, I say just replace the flapper. Googling “Eljer flapper” yields numerous possible sources of a proper new flapper. ---
**Author:** ![Llama\_Llogophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-capitalism-toilet-related/482175/54 "2009-01-22T18:16:39Z")
Locke Plumbing has responded to my email, which included photos to aid in identifying my toilet model. Turns out I have an Eljer “Emblem”. A new flapper will run me about $15 with shipping. Was thinking I’d replace the seat too, and I now find I have to go measure because there is a standard and an elongated version of the Emblem. If this takes up much more of my time, I will begin considering the socialist squat-over-the-(standard sized)-hole-in-the-floor method. ---
**Author:** ![Flipshod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f19dbf/32.png) [@Flipshod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flipshod)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-capitalism-toilet-related/482175/55 "2009-01-22T20:51:28Z")
You do know that Obama is going to appoint a Toilet Czar. That’ll fix everything and leave capitalism intact. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-capitalism-toilet-related/482175.md?page=2)