# I hate dating resaon no. 900

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-dating-resaon-no-900/717074>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [April 7, 2015, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-dating-resaon-no-900/717074 "2015-04-07T21:32:34Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 9\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\
**Post date:** [April 8, 2015, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-dating-resaon-no-900/717074/21 "2015-04-08T02:42:57Z")

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> [@John\_Mace](#):
>
> There’s a pill you can take for that now.

Ow! My head.

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**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\
**Post date:** [April 8, 2015, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-dating-resaon-no-900/717074/22 "2015-04-08T02:52:34Z")

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Well my last 3 gfs were all childless women in their 30s who wanted kids. I think I am getting better at selection, so maybe I’ll stick with the 3rd, we’ll see. She’s pretty cool.

1 and 2 I met online. I really wanted to get away from e-dating, thinking maybe online dating is somehow lacking and that is why I wanted out of these incomplete relationships. I wanted to want someone in person, so I imposed discipline to that end until I got what I wanted. So far, so good. Try it.

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**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\
**Post date:** [April 8, 2015, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-dating-resaon-no-900/717074/23 "2015-04-08T03:19:41Z")

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> [@Stuffy](#):
>
> If you have a fulltime job, a kid under 10\* and you’re a student, IMHO YOU DON’T HAVE TIME TO DATE!!! at least not in a serious way. That is all.

Hey, that’s really nice of you, deciding that the women don’t have time to date so they don’t have to bother to make decisions like that for themselves. You sound like a really nifty guy.

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**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\
**Post date:** [April 8, 2015, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-dating-resaon-no-900/717074/24 "2015-04-08T03:21:43Z")

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> [@John\_Mace](#):
>
> There’s a pill you can take for that now.

And its name is not Viagra but meth.

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**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\
**Post date:** [April 8, 2015, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-dating-resaon-no-900/717074/25 "2015-04-08T03:57:33Z")

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> [@Green\_Bean](#):
>
> Hey, that’s really nice of you, deciding that the women don’t have time to date so they don’t have to bother to make decisions like that for themselves. You sound like a really nifty guy.

That’s a fair enough opinion I probably deserved that. You did however fail to note that I already discovered that. See post 18. I realized after rethinking one position it occurred to me to rethink the others as well.

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**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\
**Post date:** [April 8, 2015, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-dating-resaon-no-900/717074/26 "2015-04-08T13:50:14Z")

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Grad students are poor and busy (at least in astronomy, the field with which I am most familiar, they are), so a woman grad student probably wouldn’t want to have a kid. The average person who gets a Ph.D. is around 33 years old.

I don’t understand how anyone with kids and a full-time job (or the equivalent, like being in grad school) manages to date. But, then again, I can’t figure out how any working married person with young kids finds the time or energy to have an affair, either, and there’s evidence that plenty of them do.

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**Author:** ![CinnamonBabka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bbce88/32.png) [@CinnamonBabka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CinnamonBabka)\
**Post date:** [April 8, 2015, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-dating-resaon-no-900/717074/27 "2015-04-08T17:06:47Z")

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If you’re going to write your profile to cater to professional adults with many important things to do, you shouldn’t be surprised when they have to work to fit you into their schedule.

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**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\
**Post date:** [April 8, 2015, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-dating-resaon-no-900/717074/28 "2015-04-08T18:35:09Z")

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Having done the online dating thing, I understand what the OP is saying, I too received a ton of matches with the same problem: busy careers, busy families, numerous hobbies and activities. I often wondered when these people would find time to devote to a budding relationship.In my experience it turned out the matches were either  
A). Not really that busy, they just listed every activity they had ever done in their life as hobbies or…  
B). Not really wanting a relationship, just a text buddy to briefly communicate with every once in a while, mostly Sunday nights.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\
**Post date:** [April 8, 2015, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-dating-resaon-no-900/717074/29 "2015-04-08T18:45:58Z")

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> [@CinnamonBabka](#):
>
> If you’re going to write your profile to cater to professional adults with many important things to do, you shouldn’t be surprised when they have to work to fit you into their schedule.

I didn’t write my profile to cater to anyone, I merely answered the questions. It skews that way because apparently whatever algorithm they use says I’m a match for these women. Look, I’ve already said I think the problem is more in the way I was thinking about it. But really your post acknowledges the very complaint I made in the opening. If anything I’m more annoyed with myself right now, because I’ve turned down a few matches because _I_ was thinking about it wrong.

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