# I hate dating:( **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 8, 2003, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-dating/173813 "2003-05-08T02:03:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 2\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-dating/173813/81 "2003-05-12T05:34:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BeatenMan \* > The average man is a pig and a jerk. And yes I do mean it. The desire for a man to mate is very strong. A man will lie and do anything he has to because getting off on a woman is better than a shot of herion. Men have to do it. It is in our nature. We are slaves to our harmones. Speak for yourself.:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-dating/173813/82 "2003-05-12T06:28:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CanvasShoes \* > Blowero: Well don’t date those kind of guys. > > * * * > > A.) I don’t Yeah, sorry - I didn’t mean to imply that YOU do any of the things I was talking about. I was actually going to post again to tell you that, but the post wouldn’t go through. > [@](#): > > * * * > > ## 3.) If you “give in” too soon, many men don’t respect you, and won’t date you past that point. Or if you don’t give in at all, they dump you too, so you’re damned if you do, and damned if you don’t. > > Bloweo: I wonder if that’s really the case. If the guy really cares about you, there’s no way in hell he’s gonna dump you because you had sex with him. I’m sorry to say this, but it’s far more likely that he just wasn’t that into you in the first place. Believe me - if a guy is really into you, and you have sex with him, all he’s gonna think about is having MORE sex with you. Ditto for if you don’t have sex right away - if he really cares about you, he will wait. If he doesn’t want to wait at all then he’s a jerk anyway. Remember, you can NEVER substitute sex for love. > > * * * > > I don’t know, but I was one of the “don’ts” and I got dumped a LOT after the 3rd date when I wasn’t “putting out”. Well I’m sorry, but I seriously doubt any of those guys were really in love with you if they did that. You keep saying you’re “not talking about guys like me”, but seriously, I’m no saint, and most of my male friends have the same attitude that I do. I’m just not seeing as how the “average” guy is such a pig like people seem to think. You keep complaining about the “players”, and I’m saying well don’t date the players, then. > [@](#): > > But again, my post wasn’t about looking for mr right but about casual sex. Now you lost me. If you are only talking about casual sex, then why do you care if the guy wants to do it on the 3rd date? > [@](#): > > But how are you supposed to KNOW that until you get to that 3rd date and he dumps you, some of these player types are VERY good actors. They can seem just as sweet and sincere as the next guy, we’re not mind readers, it’s not like players have a sign on their forehead that says “just out for sex” so that we can simply not date them in the first place. Really? So even after you spent some time with a guy, you can’t get any kind of handle on his character? I can spot an overconfident, smooth-talking “player” type a mile away, but of course they’re probably not trying to fool other guys like me. I guess if he’s a really great actor he could pull off pretending to be sincere; that would really suck. On the bright side, you only wasted 3 dates in that case. At least you didn’t spend a year with him and _then_ find out he was an asshole. > [@](#): > > Granted, now that I’m in my 40s, I can spot them more easily. But I still dislike the sleazy come ons by men just looking to get laid. If you’re out dancing or whatnot, how does a woman avoid that sort of thing? I don’t think dance clubs are a good place to meet quality men. It’s probably fine if you just want to get laid, but otherwise, I’d bet you’d get pound-for-pound a lot more players hanging out in places like that. > [@](#): > > And the insulted, hurt act when you turn them down “but baby, I can have any woman I want, I’m hot for you…etc blah blah bs”, PUH lease!!! I’m with you on that. I can’t stand those sleazy types. > [@](#): > > Um yeah, SUUUuuuuRRRRe, the second you say something like “I’d like to know you a little better before getting physical” too many (NOTE! I am NOT saying ALL guys here) men hear that as “Not until after we’re married”. Hmmm…not sure if I’m with you on this. Personally, I’m really big into being honest. If you don’t speak your mind because of a pre-conceived notion of how a man is going to react, then you’re already into the head games before you’ve even gotten a relationship off the ground. I don’t think a reasonable guy is going to think that, but so what if he _did_ think you meant “not until we’re married”? Then he would say something like, “Well I don’t mind waiting, but I don’t want to wait until we’re married”. Then you would say something like “But I didn’t mean that - I just need to wait a _little_ while.” Boom - problem solved in 2 sentences. If the guy freaks out and dumps you right on the spot, that’s good too, because you weeded out a loser. Better than not saying anything and hoping he can read minds. > [@](#): > > What? You’ve never had a woman make homemade cookies? Leave notes on your car? etc etc? You don’t consider sweet gestures, or just plain “You’re a great guy” as proof she’s interested? You have to have some sort of sexual gesture or it’s no go??? Saying “you’re a great guy” could work, depending how you said it, but when the woman starts saying “you’re my buddy” or “you’re my pal”, then you know you’ve been relegated to “friend” purgatory.😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-dating/173813.md?page=4)