# I hate little kids. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 27, 2009, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-little-kids/487660 "2009-02-27T14:54:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-little-kids/487660/81 "2009-03-04T02:45:33Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > Your average 3 year old does not do too well if put out in the street with $20 tucked into his underoos and told to fend for himself. Worked okay for me when I was 3. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Dave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/46a35a/32.png) [@Great\_Dave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Dave)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-little-kids/487660/82 "2009-03-04T05:25:40Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > But little kids are so much fun to talk to on the phone! > > “Hi, keighleigh, how are you?” > > “Good.” > > “How is school?” > > “Good.” > > “What was the most fun thing you did today?” > > “Dunno.” > > “Can you say anything longer than one word?” > > “Dunno.” > > “Alrighty then… can you put your mom back on the phone?” > > “Good.” you must be an uncle from the other side of the family. ---
**Author:** ![Myrrajh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/87869e/32.png) [@Myrrajh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrrajh)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-little-kids/487660/83 "2009-03-04T05:44:16Z")
Yes, there are the times they drive you crazy, but they’re only little for a short time, then they become sullen teenagers. I’ll take the bottomless-pit-of-hugs-and-sticky-kisses little kids any day. They make me happy. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-little-kids/487660/84 "2009-03-04T07:17:07Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > Isn’t to hate little kids to be a tad hypocritical, as we were all annoying, inconvenient, obnoxious kids once. I hated most little kids when I was a little kid, what’s your problem? ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-little-kids/487660/85 "2009-03-04T16:59:04Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > I realized something the other day - the older I get, the more I, personally, cease to care about holidays like Christmas and birthday parties. After all, if I want a present, I can just go out and buy more or less what I want (within reason); if I want to see my friends, I can any time, etc. > > With a kid, all of that stuff is fun again. The kid loves birthdays and holidays - getting a present, singing songs, a cake with candles is to his little three year old mind _the greatest thing ever_. That’s an example of the gift kids give to you, above and beyond appreciating 'em in their own right - the excitement and interest of discovering stuff for the very first time; going to the museum or the zoo is an _event_, seeing a fire engine going by is memorable, etc. An antidote to snarky jaded cynicism. > > Not that I expect such to be appreciated _here_ - after all, the Pit is the very home of snarky jaded cynicism. 😃 Oh, no. I _love_ when my nephews get presents. Christmas was a blast, since they know well enough that Uncle Lightray is the one to come to for putting together new toys without freaking out. And they’re deleriously happy over the simplest things – 6yo Number One Nephew was shouting “awesome!” every time I got part of his Thomas the Train monstrosity assembled, and 3yo Number Two Nephew picked up on it and every time he tried his stomp-rocket he’d pipe out “Awethome!” and run over to hug me. Meanwhile, my mom is evaluating the _meaning_ of every present and its worth in evaluating your love for her… while she, in turn, gives presents with no regard to what the recipient might want. Kids, I love buying presents for. Adults? entitled bastards can go buy their own stuff for all I care; I’m getting them gift cards, and under protest at that. Other than my nephews (and my niece, once she’s past the drooling blob stage), I’ll avoid kids, thank you very much. My brother has kindly excused me from kiddiewrangling duty at their b-day and Easter madhouses – much to my mother’s horror, I just show up for the family portion and the traditional assembling-of-the-gifts. ---
**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-little-kids/487660/86 "2009-03-04T17:37:53Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > I hated most little kids when I was a little kid, what’s your problem? That was me, too - I wanted to hang out with the adults. Now that I am an adult, I still want to hang out with the adults. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-little-kids/487660/87 "2009-03-05T01:04:17Z")
> [@MannyL](#): > > Oh my god I thought it was just me. After reading this sentence, I am left to wonder how you posted close to 2000 times on this message board with your eyes closed. These threads pop up every couple of months, it seems. ---
**Author:** ![Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f08c70/32.png) [@Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncle_Brother_Walker)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-little-kids/487660/88 "2009-03-05T08:00:30Z")
> [@Elza\_B](#): > > …little kids are fun. And you can use them for evil. That’s a positive right there. I like them. Minions are best when recruited young. I woke up early because my roommate’s Minion came into my bedroom. Mommy was still asleep and wouldn’t wake up. I decided to let her sleep a bit more and taught him (3 yo) how to play the opening line to Beethoven’s 9th on his little xylophone. (The famous Ode to Joy, 4th movement… We cheated, we counted it out, but it still sounded good.) He got it, though. Only took about fifteen minutes. Their minds are like sponges at that age. When mommy woke up and was unimpressed, we moved over to breakfast. Now don’t get me wrong…These folks were friends, and helped me out when I was in a bad way, but they were… dirty. One of the worst things IMO was that they would let all of their 3 cats walk nap play sleep whatever on the kitchen counters, the cooking island, and almost any flat surface to include the dining room table. Ick. Minion would always spill things, as they are oft to do. Mother was usually away from the room, as she wanted him to learn how to pour and drink on his own. (Yeah, she thought he was ‘gifted’ so he could do it without training. Go fig.) Every time he would spill something, I taught him to say “kitty”. Not loud, but not specifically his indoor voice. Invariably one of the cats would jump up on the surface he spilled upon because it thought he was giving them a treat. (Yeah, I think cats are stupid too, but I manipulated them as well. I think I was teaching them the ‘SPILL=free meal’ message. Enjoy your place on the food chain.) By the time Mother got into the room, she usually assumed the cats were interfering with the kid’s ability to practice his skills. So the cats became the victims. Minion picked up on this quickly, and every time something went wrong, you would hear a small crash followed by 3-4 seconds of silence. Then, “kitty”. By the time I moved out I don’t think Mother ever caught on. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-little-kids/487660/89 "2009-03-05T16:20:18Z")
> [@Katriona](#): > > That was me, too - I wanted to hang out with the adults. Now that I am an adult, I still want to hang out with the adults. Ditto. My beautiful, brilliant six-month-old niece gave me a cold this weekend. Some of the shine has worn off that princess. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-little-kids/487660/90 "2009-03-05T16:37:11Z")
**Uncle Brother Walker** , you are the only person (other than my husband and myself) that I’ve heard call them “minions”. How cool! And it’s ALWAYS good to have minions, isn’t it? We also called him “chore monkey” but he got tired of that real quick. ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2009, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-little-kids/487660/91 "2009-03-07T02:46:12Z")
> [@Missy2U](#): > > **Uncle Brother Walker** , you are the only person (other than my husband and myself) that I’ve heard call them “minions”. How cool! > > And it’s ALWAYS good to have minions, isn’t it? > > We also called him “chore monkey” but he got tired of that real quick. I love the word ‘minions’. I shall steal it and use it for my own. My son heard me tell my husband to ‘suck it, honey’ yesterday. (I meant it lovingly, and I didn’t realize he was within earshot.). So last night, I was informed that he told my mother to ‘suck it, Yia-Yia!’. We have decided we have REALLY got to start watching our mouths, or we will be the parents who get the call from school that starts “DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR SON SAID?”. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2009, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-little-kids/487660/92 "2009-03-07T05:08:11Z")
You really need to try the vinegar based BBQ sauce. That makes all the difference. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-little-kids/487660.md?page=4)