# I Hate Onions! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 7, 1999, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-onions/10841 "1999-11-07T17:53:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![meredith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/43a26b/32.png) [@meredith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meredith)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 1999, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-onions/10841/41 "1999-11-09T08:20:00Z")
Wow! I didn’t know that onions were such a love 'em or hate 'em kind of thing! I, personally, could take them or leave them. Interestingly enough, if you cook them long enough, they will carmelize and become sweet. I once saw the Moosewood Cookbook lady make onion jelly on PBS. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 1999, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-onions/10841/42 "1999-11-09T15:52:00Z")
Ooooooch. Sorry about that, dwtno. [drops your wrists quickly] God damn gender-neutral screen names! You ever hear the old, old tale "Onions and Garlic’ ? The merchant’s (obligatory) stupid third son sails off with a huge sack of onions, which is all his Pop will give him to trade. He’s shipwrecked on an island that’s lousy with diamonds, diamonds as big as eggs, but where the cooks’ve never heard of onions. He trades his onions to the (epicurian) king, who’s delighted by the flavor, for a hundred sacks of jewels and a ship to take him home. His two older and cleverer brothers say to themselves, if this king likes onions so much, imagaine what he’d pay for GARLIC. They sail off for the island with a shipload of the stuff. Sure enough, the king is ecstatic. He refuses to give them diamonds, though, as such a marvelous thing as garlic must be paid for with the MOST VALUBLE THING IN HIS KINGDOM. So the two brothers head home, weeks and weeks of heavy sailing, spring open the chests to find them filled with… [you saw this coming, didn’t you?) …ONIONS. – Uke, the Vegetable Minstrel ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 1999, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-onions/10841/43 "1999-11-09T17:48:00Z")
A fajita isn’t a fajita without onions, mon. * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-onions/10841/44 "1999-11-10T06:09:00Z")
My mom recently discovered a brand of pickled pearl onions. (Forgot the name, must remember to ask). The last time I was at her house, I was just munching those things like popcorn. I now have a new favorite snack food… dwtno? Hello? Still there? I think we lost him again… * * * God is dead. -Nietzsche Nietzsche is dead. -God Neitzsche is God. -Dead ---
**Author:** ![dwtno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@dwtno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwtno)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-onions/10841/45 "1999-11-10T06:47:00Z")
[dwtno doing his best Brando/Col. Kurtz voice] The tragedy… the tragedy… I’m still here. I’m just ill. To Byz - Yeah, I’ve made meatloaf without the nasty vegatable. You’re right. It wasn’t the same. It was edible! True story: Not more than half an hour ago I was standing on the steps of the main administration building (I work at a university) speaking to a woman about an upcoming project when an _extremely_ foul odor wafted by. Stopped me cold. Onions! It was awful! Couldn’t have been worse if you were cutting them under my nose. I thought I was going to vomit on the very spot (no exageration). The woman I was with started making what I can only assume was the same face I was making. “You hate onions too?” she asked. “Yes!” I replied. I think I’ve found my true love! (Fortunately, I didn’t puke and neither did she.) Funny thing was, there’s no kitchen or other food prep area near where we were standing and nobody else was around. Wierd. Back to the regular programming, you buncha perverted, onion-lovin’ sickos! ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-onions/10841/46 "1999-11-10T06:49:00Z")
Chicken livers fried with soy sauce and onions . . . . [insert Homer Simpson “mmmm” noise here] ---
**Author:** ![putrid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e5b9ba/32.png) [@putrid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/putrid)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 1999, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-onions/10841/47 "1999-11-09T21:02:00Z")
Gosh, Flora, are you psychic? You guessed what I was gonna make for supper tonight. Except for the soy sauce. Though I do have a bunch of little packets of soy sauce lying around here to use up so – Thanks for the suggestion. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 1999, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-onions/10841/48 "1999-11-09T21:09:00Z")
Well, Putrid, be warned, I like my food like I like my men: Hot ‘n’ Spicy, Texas Style! So if your taste buds are easily scared, you might want to go easy on the soy sauce. But I think it’s yummy. Might throw a little Worcestershire on there, too. ---
**Author:** ![torq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@torq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torq)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 1999, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-onions/10841/49 "1999-11-09T21:53:00Z")
Flora: What mutant variety of soy sauce do you use if you think it’s “hot and spicy”? Worcestershire sauce is a little spicy, but I think soy sauce tastes approximately like salt water (in fact, I usually call it “salt sauce”). Oh yeah, onions. I hated onions when I was a kid; I liked onion rings, but I’d take a bite, pull out the onion, and leave it on the plate while eating the breading. (Incidentally, I know very few kids who can stand onions. My brother-in-law wants to open a restaurant for kids called “No Onions”. But I digress.) Now I love them. Some are a little too strong to eat raw, but most aren’t and all of them are good cooked. I don’t understand how anyone could not like cooked onions, even if they don’t care for raw ones. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 1999, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-onions/10841/50 "1999-11-09T22:16:00Z")
[www.vidaliaonion.com](http://www.vidaliaonion.com) * * * **Dopeler effect:** The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-onions/10841/51 "1999-11-10T15:08:00Z")
Oh, man, was Flora in the kitchen again? Pots and pans everywhere, crusted over…yep, here’s the good knives, in the DISHWASHER. Pute, torq, you want chicken livers and onions? c’mon over here, I’ll show you how to make chicken livers and onions. All right, whadda we got here? A half-pound of livers? Okay, first we clean 'em, get that membrane off, then halve 'em. Now, onions. Gimme one of those medium yellow onions. Hell, give me TWO, just in case dwtmo wanders in. Okay. Peel 'em, chop em fine. Get a good-sized skillet, drop a couple tablespoons of butter in, melt it down over medium-high heat, get the onions started. Good. Nice sizzle. Sprinkle a little flour on 'em…you want the sauce to thicken a bit. A teaspoon, two teaspoons is plenty. About five, six minutes of sizzle, till the onions’re soft and transparent. Stir 'em once in a while. Now, toss those livers in. Quick with the salt and pepper! You only want do do these for a minute or two, till they get some color. Toss 'em around with that wooden spoon! Next, a shot of Worcestershire. A tablespoon’s enough. Pute, wouldja go over to the bar…in the corner, there…and get me the dry vermouth? Should be behind the gin. Thanks. While you’re in there, you might as well start a pitcher of Bloody Marys for us, okay? V-8’s in the icebox…don’t forget the horseradish. Okay, about two tablespoons of vermouth…half a cup of chicken stock. Should be some in the fridge, I just made a batch over the weekend. Now we cover the pan, turn the heat down to low, and leave it go for about five minutes. Nothing worse than an overcooked chicken liver. That’ll give me just enough time to scramble a half-dozen eggs…how’re those Bloody Marys coming? Okay…eggs are up, livers up, toast up, drinks up…everyone sit down and get it while it’s hot. No better Sunday breakfast. Dibs on the funny pages. * * * Uke ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-onions/10841/52 "1999-11-10T15:13:00Z")
I’ve never had eggs any way but scrambled,or hard-boiled. Me mum wasn’t much of a cook. Any sugs on the best,and anyone wanna cook em fer me? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-onions/10841/53 "1999-11-10T15:46:00Z")
Mmm, sounds heavenly, Ike . . . I’ll bring the Sunday Times–but I get dibs on the Streetscapes column! ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-onions/10841/54 "1999-11-10T15:49:00Z")
Ya want an omelet or mabye a quiche. The quiche takes a bit longer. Let’s stuff that omelet with **onions** , mushrooms, ham and some muenster cheese. Fry it up and throw some Paul Newman’s salsa on top. Now if ya want quiche, we can put bacon, **onions** , cheddar cheese and some fried new potatoes in it. * * * **Dopeler effect:** The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-onions/10841/55 "1999-11-10T15:56:00Z")
Orangecakes, Unk’s suggestions are excellent, and shouldn’t seem frightening if you’re used to scrambled eggs. Another suggestion would be a fritatta, an Italian-style omelette (the Spaniards call it a tortilla) with the ingredients mixed into the eggs rather than folded inside. ONIONS, of course, plus any leftover meat or veggies, and leftover pasta or potatoes. Cooked very slowly over low heat. Check a general cookbook for a recipe. You can make it in the morning, have it for lunch at room temp. Flora: the STREETSCAPES section? What the hail is that? ---
**Author:** ![dwtno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@dwtno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwtno)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-onions/10841/56 "1999-11-10T16:21:00Z")
_hurumph_ I think I’ve been hijacked. Pardon me while I sit in my onion-free corner and sulk. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-onions/10841/57 "1999-11-10T16:29:00Z")
You weren’t just hijacked. You were tossed out of the plane with no parachute. * * * **Dopeler effect:** The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-onions/10841/58 "1999-11-10T16:37:00Z")
We’re still mentioning ONIONS, aren’t we? * * * Uke ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-onions/10841/59 "1999-11-10T17:34:00Z")
Arnold, how about a raw red onion sandwich with cream cheese on rye? One of my faves. ---
**Author:** ![Yankee\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/7ea924/32.png) [@Yankee\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yankee_Blue)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 1999, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-onions/10841/60 "1999-11-11T06:01:00Z")
You know, it’s just weird what topics, people will just pick up and run with on this board…ever try roasted onions? Mmm-mmm. They’re yummy served with lots of butter. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-onions/10841.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hate-onions/10841.md?page=4)