Uggh. My boss does this. She has a habit of sending me email with all the content in the subject line and completely ambiguous. Then she looks at me like I’m an idiot when I ask for clarification. A classic from yesterday is:
“After lunch I need you to help me with this.”
That’s it. The complete message. Not to mention she sits at the other end of the office, so even if I wanted to see what she is looking at, I can’t from where my desk is.
Sometimes I hate my job.
Then I remember I’m getting paid a bucketload for what is a glorified data entry job.
My performance is pretty much solely related to “Take data from form a, enter it into system b, send it to state office c”
There is no room for ambiguity. Thank y’all for reminding me I’ve got it pretty good 
But you have people skills!
C’mon, that is a true Dilbert performance review. In fact, send it in to Scott Adams. Can’t handle unclear instructions is priceless. Post it on your wall. At home. He won’t like it at work.
Aww hell naw The whole reason I got into this job was so I never had to talk to another customer again. And with the way they’ve set up our workstations now, I can go a whole 8 hours without speaking to a single one of my teammates. It’s bliss
My husband’s previous employer is a corporation whose name rhymes with “Cramjen”. Since he left this place, a middle manager friend of his there told him that he had been instructed to “meet a quota” of reporting at least 1/4 of his underlings as “not meeting expectations” at their reviews. Since all of his underlings did damned good jobs, he refused to do so. However, I heard of this duplicitous crap and sent it in to Scott Adams, and he did indeed use it in a strip.
I think the corporation in question had to eventually fall back on plain ol’ layoffs to rid themselves of staff just like everyone else. They had cultivated an image of “we don’t lay people off like those other evil corporations do”, and were trying to preserve it.
Add me to the list of people who hate the whole, farcical corporate performance review process. Just went through this with my direct reports. People get graded on a scale of 1 to 5 for various agreed-upon goals, but my boss directed us that someone who’s doing “a really good job on something” should only get a 3 out of 5 for that goal. In effect, it’s a sort of reverse grade inflation.
We also had the whole “grading on a bell curve” thing inflicted on us…so, as described above, a certain number of people have to be given lower grades. And my boss insists that I rate people based on corporate “cheer leader” type behavior – attitude rather than aptitude. He specifically said “we aren’t grading people based on talent or ability”.
I think I’ve walked into a Dilbert cartoon.
At a previous job, we were rated on strange criteria like “negotiating ability”. For that particular one, my boss gave me a low to average grade, rather than the much higher grades I got on the other criteria. His reason? With a dead straight face, he told me, “Well, you didn’t manage to negotiate a very good raise from us last year.”
So, I got promoted halfway through the year after stellar performance. So what happens at my year-end review?
Boss: “You’ve done an excellent job and are doing fantastic. However, since you’ve just been promoted, I have to rate you relative to your new promoted level. Since you’ve only been at this level for a couple of months, it would be unfair to rate you higher than your peers who have been here longer at this level, you see.”
End result, I’ve been promoted for excellent performance, but my review for the year on record says: “Did not meet performance expectations, improvement needed.”
:mad::rolleyes:
I take it a step further.
I have a good relation with my bosses. If I don’t know what they want, I tell them. Sometimes, they don’t know either, they are simply trying to find out what questions to ask, or just trying to get a general feel. Sometimes, they have something very specific in mind. Either way, it’s best to know before I waste time going after the wrong thing. It saves time for both of us.
I remember a video of our former President and CEO expounding on the virtues of performance reviews. He had joined the company as a junior production engineer and got promoted, over time, to the highest position in the company. From memory:, “In all my years with the company, I’ve never had a performance review, but you should appreciated the feedback that I never got and wish I had”.:rolleyes:
What? You’d have made CEO in less time if you’d gotten feedback from bosses who now work for you? Frankly, it is probably better that you didn’t listen to them, otherwise you’d still be working for them. It was the stupidest corporate video I’ve ever seen.
Especially if he were to leverage his core competencies going forward.
Me, too.
I try my best to do a good job, but I don’t get enough info to work with most of the time. If I don’t understand something, I usually paraphrase the boss’ request as to what he wants me to do, or even ‘how do you want me to ask this question?’
I’ve only been at this job for four years, and I **still **don’t know all the aspects of my job that I need. We have no training systems in place. All learning is done from peer-to-peer interaction. From day one it was just ‘sit down and get ready to catch what people throw at you.’
We’ve recently laid off 5% of our company. I’m afraid for my job. But because I made the first cut, I think I have some security.
But they *do *pay me well. So I suffer and toil in anonymity.