# I have a confession to make. When I see an attractive woman, in any context, my concentration shifts **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 9, 2019, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395 "2019-08-09T06:12:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/21 "2019-08-09T14:47:51Z")
> [@nate](#): > > I’d bet my life it’s like this for 98% of males. Because that would mean it was o.k. to be that way and you wouldn’t have to change a thing? Sorry bucky, but even _if_ that were true( and it most certainly isn’t) it still wouldn’t provide you with the excuse you seek. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/22 "2019-08-09T15:08:18Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > That is sooo hot. Only better if she ripped a big fart. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/23 "2019-08-09T15:20:39Z")
Not only that but **nate** spelled burka wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/24 "2019-08-09T15:40:38Z")
When I see an attractive woman, she often diverts my attention away from whatever I was doing. But I don’t see this as a problem that needs to be fixed. ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/25 "2019-08-09T15:44:44Z")
> [@nate](#): > > You women might not realize this struggle. Sometimes I think to myself how I understand the berka taking effect in the middle east, I think it would help me, but damn even women’s eyes with everything else covered can shift my mood into a more animalistic mode rather than a more civilized demeanor. This is exactly why men should make more than women, we have to work so hard just to keep from getting distracted. On a serious note: Yes there is a lot of automatic processing that goes on constantly related to seeing females. But, for me, it’s not disruptive or uncontrollable. When I talked to my wife about how much is going on in the typical guys head on this topic (based on myself and other guys I know) she was shocked and preferred to pretend I had never told her that (I thought everyone knew). ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/26 "2019-08-09T15:48:04Z")
Shame the OP isn’t a celebrity. Otherwise they’d just let him do it. He could do anything… ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/27 "2019-08-09T16:04:10Z")
> [@RaftPeople](#): > > When I talked to my wife about how much is going on in the typical guys head on this topic (based on myself and other guys I know) she was shocked and preferred to pretend I had never told her that (I thought everyone knew). Could you go on about what she found shocking? ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/28 "2019-08-09T16:09:49Z")
Partway through the OP, with the “women just don’t understand” part, I expected this to become parody. But I guess not. Anyways, yes, I can get distracted by physical beauty and sexual attractiveness. But my mind does not go towards fucking them, and any distraction is momentary as I can both enjoy the feeling and listen to the person. I’ve never had the issue where I couldn’t think around an attractive woman except due to social anxiety stuff, like worrying about the right thing to say. That said, I’ve heard of other guys saying stuff like how, when they notice someone’s attractiveness, their mind jumps straight to sex. And these don’t appear to be bad people, or even misogynists. It might be a difference in how people are wired, or cultural differences. Throw in being easily distracted, and I could see it being bad. But, yeah, it’s something you need to work on–unless you have ADHD or something, in which case the “shiny” of an attractive person may cause you to lose attention. In that case, you might want to get that checked out. I’m not going to jump to condemnation. Still, please leave out the “women don’t know what it’s like” talk that makes it seem like some great burden, and don’t assume it’s all men. Stick with the stuff where you acknowledge it’s an issue with your brain, and not remotely the woman’s responsibility. That was good stuff. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/29 "2019-08-09T16:17:15Z")
I can easily find myself distracted by a beautiful woman, I don’t see anything wrong with that, it’s the fault of evolution I guess. ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/30 "2019-08-09T16:20:22Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > Could you go on about what she found shocking? The number and extent of sexual thoughts that males have about the females around them. She thought there was very little of that. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/31 "2019-08-09T16:50:54Z")
> [@RaftPeople](#): > > The number and extent of sexual thoughts that males have about the females around them. She thought there was very little of that. Was she raised real religious or something? ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/32 "2019-08-09T17:26:51Z")
> [@Larry Miller](#): > > If women knew what men were really thinking, they would never stop slapping us. Therefore, the trick is only to let them know in circumstances where they won’t. If they can tell that you are distracted, you aren’t doing it right. My first thought upon reading the OP was “that must not have been a very good documentary”, but then again, I am not as young as I once was. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/33 "2019-08-09T17:33:54Z")
The language in your OP is appalling, dehumanizing and gross. This part is particularly egregious: > [@nate](#): > > how can you help your brain not automatically think “damn, I’d like to fuck the hell out of that”. Especially if they are dressed in some sort of risque, butt-cheeks hanging out, skinny tanned legs outfit. Get a grip and grow up. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/34 "2019-08-09T17:35:08Z")
I was at the pharmacy yesterday getting my father’s prescription filled. As I was waiting in line, I noticed the woman ahead of me who was at the counter. She was wearing a pair of short shorts and I was looking at her ass and legs. Now I did check her out. And this did divert my attention away from what I was doing. But what I was doing was standing in line in a drugstore. What I didn’t do: I didn’t get so distracted, I lost my ability to stand in line. I didn’t rip off my clothes and attack her. I didn’t make catcalls. I didn’t try to pick her up. I didn’t nudge other men in the area and say “Check out the ass on her.” I didn’t leer and make her uncomfortable. We can’t control what happens in our head. But we can control how we act. I don’t need women to wear a burka so I can behave. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/35 "2019-08-09T17:38:11Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > That is sooo hot. > [@Gatopescado](#): > > Only better if she ripped a big fart. Y’all’s so funny:) ---
**Author:** ![BeeGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5a626/32.png) [@BeeGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeeGee)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/36 "2019-08-09T17:58:19Z")
> [@nate](#): > > You women might not realize this struggle. Sometimes I think to myself how I understand the berka taking effect in the middle east, I think it would help me, but damn even women’s eyes with everything else covered can shift my mood into a more animalistic mode rather than a more civilized demeanor. > > I’d bet my life it’s like this for 98% of males. I mean, I’m kind of curious about if you were really honest, walking down the street and you see any attractive women, how can you help your brain not automatically think “damn, I’d like to fuck the hell out of that”. Especially if they are dressed in some sort of risque, butt-cheeks hanging out, skinny tanned legs outfit. > > Sorry in advance. Sometimes I just feel like posting what is on my mind. Yada, yada, same as before, rinse and repeat. I’ve been hearing this same ol’ "men can’t help it, so girls gotta be careful nonsense since the 70’s. Time to get your ass into the 21st century, son. You need to be able to control that shit. What if you have an attractive co-worker or married neighbor or other woman who (God help us all) you have to interact with? Sorry, Hamlet, but Ophelia’s not going to any nunnery. Maybe it’s time to get thee to a priory if you want to avoid calumny. Or grow the hell up. That might work, too. ---
**Author:** ![BeeGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5a626/32.png) [@BeeGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeeGee)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/37 "2019-08-09T18:04:48Z")
Oh, and we just love it when some random dude refers to us as a “that”. You’d hit that, would you? Guess again, junior. ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/38 "2019-08-09T18:06:35Z")
Admiring beauty and being distracted by it are two completely different things. > [@](#): > > I mean, I’m kind of curious about if you were really honest, walking down the street and you see any attractive women, how can you help your brain not automatically think “damn, I’d like to fuck the hell out of that”. Probably because a normal person’s brain registers that attractive women as a person, and not an object. At the very least, a normal person’s brain might briefly fantasize about having sex with _her_, but “that”? Sorry, you have issues. And the fact that your objectification and sexual daydreaming causes attention deficit and a crippling lack of concentration suggests you should probably seek professional help. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/39 "2019-08-09T18:19:32Z")
Beauty and sexuality will only briefly distract me. A few times in my life I found a women so attractive that is was difficult to keep my mind on what I was doing but it was usually because of some quality that I found very appealing and seldom came across. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/40 "2019-08-09T18:28:03Z")
It’s definitely not normal. I mean, in person I could kind of see it but if you aren’t desensitized to gorgeous women on your TV screen then it’s pretty weird. Also, it shows a rather large lack of mental discipline. It sounds like you would be incapable of a coherent conversation with an attractive woman. If you think that’s normal for 98% of men, I’m glad I’m not normal. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395.md?page=3)