# I have a confession to make. When I see an attractive woman, in any context, my concentration shifts **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 9, 2019, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395 "2019-08-09T06:12:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/41 "2019-08-09T18:30:33Z")
I think we’ve made the point to the OP that “not all men”, which should be instructive. But, I will say, people are different, and I can accept that some men have higher levels of “raging hormones” than others. Case in point - I am a standard skinny brainy guy. I have always been attracted to the opposite sex, and enjoy attractive members of the opposite sex. But I never understood the drooling neanderthal reaction that I would see in some guys. That is until one point in my life when I was prescribed a hormone therapy. OMG! I can tell you it changed me. I started to react in many ways more like what I perceived to be a regular guy-guy. And my drooling neanderthal horniness level went way up. The treatment was only temporary, and when I went off it I returned to my normal beta-cuck self. But I truly felt that, for a period of time, I had walked in another mans shoes, as it were. So, to \*\*nate \*\*- no, not all males are like you, but some are, and IMHO some of it has to do with natural hormone levels. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/42 "2019-08-09T18:34:50Z")
Have whatever dirty and nasty thoughts you please – and this goes for everyone. There are no evil thoughts, only evil actions. But you don’t need to share your dirty and nasty thoughts with others (outside, say, your therapist or significant other) – that can be a little teeny-tiny bit evil and almost always wholly unnecessary. Be gross in your mind all you want… but you don’t need to be gross in a way in which others are affected (this can include leering, ogling, etc., in addition to unnecessarily sharing your dirty, creepy thoughts). ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/43 "2019-08-09T18:42:27Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Have whatever dirty and nasty thoughts you please – and this goes for everyone. There are no evil thoughts, only evil actions. But you don’t need to share your dirty and nasty thoughts with others (outside, say, your therapist or significant other) – that can be a little teeny-tiny bit evil and almost always wholly unnecessary. Be gross in your mind all you want… but you don’t need to be gross in a way in which others are affected (this can include leering, ogling, etc., in addition to unnecessarily sharing your dirty, creepy thoughts). “Word implies Action” -anonymous. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/44 "2019-08-09T18:47:31Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Have whatever dirty and nasty thoughts you please – and this goes for everyone. There are no evil thoughts, only evil actions. But you don’t need to share your dirty and nasty thoughts with others (outside, say, your therapist or significant other) – that can be a little teeny-tiny bit evil and almost always wholly unnecessary. Be gross in your mind all you want… but you don’t need to be gross in a way in which others are affected (this can include leering, ogling, etc., in addition to unnecessarily sharing your dirty, creepy thoughts). This isn’t a #metoo thread, dude. It’s only about what’s going on in his head. And no, you probably should discourage yourself from dwelling on dirty and/or evil thoughts , certainly while you are dealing with real live people. ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/45 "2019-08-09T18:47:37Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > Was she raised real religious or something? No, pretty typical childhood and family, not prudish and wasn’t sheltered. ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/46 "2019-08-09T18:48:43Z")
> [@CarnalK](#): > > …you probably should discourage yourself from dwelling on dirty… Why? ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/47 "2019-08-09T18:49:28Z")
As a man I can say my hormones/horniness/etc vary by day/week/month. Sometimes they aren’t a factor at all, sometimes attractive women or the thought of them can be quite distracting. Not necessarily specific women, just a general distraction. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/48 "2019-08-09T19:03:00Z")
> [@RaftPeople](#): > > Why? If you are sitting at home masturbating or contemplating how you are going to welcome your girlfriend, knock yourself out. But if you’re doing it whenever you are in the proximity of a good looking woman, you are bordering on an addiction like problem. But really, the important part in that sentence is “dwelling on it”. Working yourself up on something that has no outlet isn’t healthy imho. If you are on a diet, it does you no good to spend a lot of time fantasizing about bacon wrapped doughnuts. I suspect the OP is on a “diet”, of a sort. ---
**Author:** ![RobDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@RobDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobDog)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/49 "2019-08-09T19:04:50Z")
I must confess I used to have the same reaction as **nate**. This would be about a year or so after I’d got over the compunction to pick up any nearby stick and go “Pew… pewpew… pewpew pewpew pewpew. Pew.” ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/50 "2019-08-09T19:09:18Z")
> [@RaftPeople](#): > > Why? I am not a psychologist - but there is a school of thought and theory of treatment that focuses on ones “inner monologue”. The thoughts we carry around impact how we feel, and behave and interact with others, and we do have some control over them. If we are constantly thinking “I am a loser” it is a good idea to learn how to talk your brain out of thinking that, etc. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/51 "2019-08-09T19:19:20Z")
> [@Icarus](#): > > I am not a psychologist - but there is a school of thought and theory of treatment that focuses on ones “inner monologue”. The thoughts we carry around impact how we feel, and behave and interact with others, and we do have some control over them. If we are constantly thinking “I am a loser” it is a good idea to learn how to talk your brain out of thinking that, etc. Yes. If you allow yourself to constantly dwell on dirty evil thoughts every time you’re near a beautiful woman, it only reinforces itself and can only help to make it a core part of your world view. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/52 "2019-08-09T19:57:24Z")
> [@CarnalK](#): > > This isn’t a #metoo thread, dude. It’s only about what’s going on in his head. And no, you probably should discourage yourself from dwelling on dirty and/or evil thoughts , certainly while you are dealing with real live people. He chose to share the thoughts in his head, in considerable detail. Not a big deal, and not a big deal for me to gently suggest that folks might want to refrain from sharing gross thoughts with strangers. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/53 "2019-08-09T20:08:52Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > He chose to share the thoughts in his head, in considerable detail. Not a big deal, and not a big deal for me to gently suggest that folks might want to refrain from sharing gross thoughts with strangers. So you weren’t giving him advice on irl activities, you were saying this thread was wrong? ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/54 "2019-08-09T20:22:21Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > The language in your OP is appalling, dehumanizing and gross. > > This part is particularly egregious: > > Get a grip and grow up. Agreed. I reported it last night. Crickets. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/55 "2019-08-09T20:23:13Z")
> [@RaftPeople](#): > > The number and extent of sexual thoughts that males have about the females around them. She thought there was very little of that. When I was in college there was some news blurb about young men thinking about sex 5 or 6 times a day. After much initial confusion and a several-hours-long debate, the only partially tongue-in-cheek conclusion of my all-female dorm was that this might be related to the concept of “men can only do one thing at one time”: instead of thinking about sex only once a day like we did, guys had to interrupt the sex-thinking for meals and sleep. Thing is… people are supposed to eventually get over that level of permanent horniness. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/56 "2019-08-09T20:44:41Z")
> [@CarnalK](#): > > So you weren’t giving him advice on irl activities, you were saying this thread was wrong? That’s how I read that post. And starting a thread is an IRL activity. I don’t agree, I think it’s interesting to read about other people’s inner dialogues, even when they are sometimes disturbing. And this is the Straight Dope, not my workplace, say, where those comments would be considered “creating a hostile environment”. But I can certainly see how some would prefer not to be confronted with evidence that other posters routinely objectify them. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/57 "2019-08-09T21:13:21Z")
That doesn’t bother me as much as him saying/implying that women should hide themselves because HE can’t control himself. Hey, here’s a solution - instead of trying to get women to wear burkhas, men should wear blindfolds. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/58 "2019-08-09T21:30:35Z")
Something I have noticed on the dope and other message boards when it comes to subjects that our potentially objectionable. There is a predictable over reaction to admitting any kind of connection with the OP’s feelings. It tends to render threads like this valueless. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/59 "2019-08-09T21:40:06Z")
I’ve been distracted by attractive women at work many times. It goes away after a couple days. Before long it’s just another annoying co-worker that my job forces me to accommodate. I could care less what they look like. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2019, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395/60 "2019-08-09T22:02:03Z")
> [@CarnalK](#): > > So you weren’t giving him advice on irl activities, you were saying this thread was wrong? Just the details, IMO (and posting a thread on a public board is “IRL”). Saying “Sometimes I have inappropriate thoughts…” would be fine, but not necessarily the details of the inappropriate thoughts. Not that it’s a big deal, but I think such details don’t need to be shared if they might creep people out. They’re certainly not necessary in order to discuss the broad concept of inappropriate thoughts, and how pretty much every human sometimes has them. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-confession-to-make-when-i-see-an-attractive-woman-in-any-context-my-concentration-shifts/838395.md?page=4)