# I have a cunning plan....let's start a Blackadder thread! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 16, 2004, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720 "2004-06-16T19:38:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Ms\_Boods](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5e9695/32.png) [@Ms\_Boods](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Boods)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/81 "2004-06-18T14:51:24Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > well, that’s Ok, as long as you don’t stick a couple of pencils up your nose and put your underwear on your head. That’s what they used to do in the Sudan you know. Had to shoot an entire regiment once for that. Hmmm…in Genoa, 'tis now the fashion to pin a live frog to the shoulder braid, stand in a bucket and go ‘bibble’ at passersby… Now must be off to say bye bye to Ponsonby. Would you care to stroll with me a while just if you’ve got time, if you’re _ **not too busy** _. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/82 "2004-06-18T15:12:59Z")
Captain Cook was excellent too: … “Impossible sir. I know from long experience that my men have all the artistic talent of a cluster of colourblind hedgehogs… in a bag” “Hm, well that’s a bit of a blow. We needed a man to leave the trenches immediately.” “Leave the trenches?” “Yes.” “Yes, I wonder if you’ve enjoyed, as I have, sir, that marvellous painting in the National Portrait Gallery, _Bag Interior_, by the Colourblind Hedgehog Workshop of Siena…?” … “And might I suggest sir that having left the trenches, it might be a good idea to post our man to Paris [points on Melchett’s map], in order to soak up a little of the artistic atmosphere. Perhaps even Tahiti [waves airily at another part of the map], so as to produce a real masterpiece.” … “… Or alternatively, the greatest work of fiction since vows of fidelity were included in the French marriage service.” ---
**Author:** ![Katisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@Katisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katisha)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/83 "2004-06-18T16:30:21Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > I used to use this for a sig line. > > Blackadder makes _great_ sigline material. I used this one for a while: “It is said that the civilized man seeks out good and intelligent company, so that by learned discourse, he may rise above the savage, and be closer to God. Personally, however, I like to start the day with a total dickhead to remind me that I’m best.” And this one: “To you, Baldrick, the Renaissance is just something that happened to other people, wasn’t it?” ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/84 "2004-06-18T16:37:55Z")
> [@Ms Boods](#): > > Hmmm…in Genoa, 'tis now the fashion to pin a live frog to the shoulder braid, stand in a bucket and go ‘bibble’ at passersby… > Now must be off to say bye bye to Ponsonby. Would you care to stroll with me a while just if you’ve got time, if you’re _ **not too busy** _. You know, over these last few posts, I’ve come to think of you as a sort of son. Not a favourite son, of course – lord, no! – more a sort of illegitimate backstairs sort of sprog, you know: a sort of spotty squit that nobody really likes. But, nonetheless, still fruit of my overactive loins. * * * [hand-painted sign] **Get it here** [/hand-painted sign] ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/85 "2004-06-18T17:08:02Z")
By the way, for you trivia buffs: The words quoted whenever the Scottish play is mentioned are: \*\*“Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends.” \*\* from the contrafibbulistic site: [Blackadder Hall](http://www.blackadderhall.com/series/three.shtml) Sorry about the smudge, Hope you aren’t too miffed. Byeeee ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Boods](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5e9695/32.png) [@Ms\_Boods](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Boods)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/86 "2004-06-18T17:20:37Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > You know, over these last few posts, I’ve come to think of you as a sort of son. Not a favourite son, of course – lord, no! – more a sort of illegitimate backstairs sort of sprog, you know: a sort of spotty squit that nobody really likes. But, nonetheless, still fruit of my overactive loins. A _son_?! :eek: How little he knows and how much I would have him know! A boy without a winkle? God be praised, it is a miracle. A boy without a winkle! And then Sir Thomas More pointed out that a boy without a winkle is a girl. ---
**Author:** ![Feit\_C\_Taj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ee59a6/32.png) [@Feit\_C\_Taj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feit_C_Taj)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/87 "2004-06-18T17:47:56Z")
> [@InvidiousCourgette](#): > > A Cunning Thread > > Edmund: Tell me Young crone, is this Putney? > > Young Crone: That it be, that it be. > > Edmund: “Yes it is”. Not “that it be”. You don’t have to talk in that stupid voice to me. I’m not a tourist. I seek information about a Wisewoman. > > Young Crone: Ah, the Wisewoman… the Wisewoman. > > Edmund: Yes, the Wisewoman. > > Young Crone: Two things, my lord, must thee know of the Wisewoman. First, she is … a woman, and second, she is … > > Edmund: … wise? > > Young Crone: You do know her then? Edmund: No, just a wild stab in the dark, which is incidentally what you’ll be getting if you don’t start being a bit more helpful. and of course… Edmund: Here is a purse of money… which I’m not going to give you. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/88 "2004-06-18T18:40:04Z")
> [@Ms Boods](#): > > A _son_?! :eek: > > How little he knows and how much I would have him know! > A boy without a winkle? God be praised, it is a miracle. A boy without a winkle! And then Sir Thomas More pointed out that a boy without a winkle is a girl. Mouthie’s open Nursie should be shut. ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Boods](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5e9695/32.png) [@Ms\_Boods](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Boods)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/89 "2004-06-18T18:50:34Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > Mouthie’s open Nursie should be shut. All right, right, right, right. My turn again. What begins with `Come here' and ends with `Ow’? ---
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/90 "2004-06-18T19:20:40Z")
> [@Captain Cook](#): > > George: Well, it’s difficult to say, we appear to have crawled > into an area marked with mushrooms. > > Blackadder: [patiently] What do those symbols denote? > > George: Pfff. That we’re in a field of mushrooms? > > Blackadder: Lieutenant, that is a military map, it is unlikely to list > interesting flora and fungi. Look at the key and you’ll > discover that those mushrooms aren’t for picking. > > George: Good Lord, you’re quite right sir, it says “mine”. So, > these mushrooms must belong to the man who made the map. > > Blackadder: Either that, or we’re in the middle of a mine-field. > > Baldrick: Oh dear. > > George: So, he owns the field as well? and of course > [@](#): > > George: Oh sir, just one thing. If we should happen to tread on a > mine, what do we do? > > Blackadder: Well, normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet > into the air and scatter yourself over a wide area. these are my two favourite Captain Cook quotes. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/91 "2004-06-18T20:36:20Z")
> [@Ms Boods](#): > > All right, right, right, right. My turn again. What begins with `Come here' and ends with `Ow’? Don’t be disgusting Darling, I wouldn’t lick a German if he was glazed in honey. ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Boods](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5e9695/32.png) [@Ms\_Boods](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Boods)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/92 "2004-06-18T21:05:00Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > Don’t be disgusting Darling, I wouldn’t lick a German if he was glazed in honey. :eek: I may translate a lot of German for a music website, but I assure you, I’m as British as Queen Victoria. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/93 "2004-06-18T22:51:45Z")
Blackadder: You agreed to marry General Melchett?! Percy: Well, he’s my commanding officer, Sir. I didn’t feel I could refuse. Blackadder: Well, he’s going to give you the bloody Victoria Cross when he lifts up your skirt on the wedding night and sees the last turkey in the shop! ---
**Author:** ![ouisey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9fc29f/32.png) [@ouisey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouisey)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/94 "2004-06-18T22:59:31Z")
I always enjoyed Nursie’s line in the second series: “No! Ointment! That’s what you need when your head’s been cut off! That’s what I gave your cousin Mary when they done her. ‘There, there’ I said, ‘you’ll soon grow a new one.’” And then the very brief appearance of the infant Pitt the Younger in the third series is good:) ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/95 "2004-06-18T23:10:39Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Percy: Well, he’s my commanding officer, Sir. I didn’t feel I could refuse. McInnery’s character in Goes Forth was Capt. Kevin Darling. I wish they’d named him Percy, either as a first name or a last name, but they seem to have retired Percy Percy after II (McInnery’s not in BA the Third, Christmas Carol or Cavalier Years, and he’s Darling in Goes Forth & Back & Forth) ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2004, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/96 "2004-06-19T03:04:36Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > McInnery’s character in Goes Forth was Capt. Kevin Darling. I wish they’d named him Percy, either as a first name or a last name, but they seem to have retired Percy Percy after II (McInnery’s not in BA the Third, Christmas Carol or Cavalier Years, and he’s Darling in Goes Forth & Back & Forth) Well, the line quoted was spoken by George, not Percy/Darling. Ahh, if I can just squeeze through this admiring rabble … ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2004, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/97 "2004-06-19T18:48:06Z")
Yes, you’re right, Captain Blackadder’s lieutenant is George, not Percy. Percy was the name of his doppleganger in Season 1 and Season 2. And then in Season 3 the roles were reversed – Blackadder became the servant and the gormless idiot (George the Prince Regent) became the master. Clever twist, that. But Baldrick always remains Baldrick, the “monkey who’s been strategically shaved.” ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2004, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/98 "2004-06-19T18:50:26Z")
You know what I’d really like to see? A season 2-1/2! Blackadder during the rule of Cromwell! Imagine what they could do with that! Would he be a cavalier or a roundhead? You know, the upheavals of the Civil War might explain how the Blackadder family lost its noble rank. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2004, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/99 "2004-06-19T19:11:47Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > You know what I’d really like to see? A season 2-1/2! Blackadder during the rule of Cromwell! Imagine what they could do with that! Would he be a cavalier or a roundhead? You know, the upheavals of the Civil War might explain how the Blackadder family lost its noble rank. Waddaya mean “or”? Any _true_ Blackadder would be playing both sides against the middle, probably through the use of funny wigs. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2004, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/100 "2004-06-19T19:19:50Z")
> [@Nonsuch](#): > > Well, the line quoted was spoken by George, not Percy/Darling. Hmm. That puts a whole different spin on the exchange. Frankly, I think it was funnier when I imagined Darling in it. (I have much better recollection of the characters than specific scenes.) Ah, well. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720.md?page=6)