# I have a cunning plan....let's start a Blackadder thread! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 16, 2004, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720 "2004-06-16T19:38:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2004, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/101 "2004-06-19T19:25:54Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > Waddaya mean “or”? > > Any _true_ Blackadder would be playing both sides against the middle, probably through the use of funny wigs. I agree. The first thing I thought was - he’d be a turncoat of course! ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2004, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/102 "2004-06-19T20:07:48Z")
And now I’m trying to think of a plausible scenario for a _Blackadder/Red Dwarf_ crossover . . . ---
**Author:** ![choie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/choie/32/7829_2.png) [@choie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/choie)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2004, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/103 "2004-06-19T20:16:07Z")
Seasons in order of appreciation: 2, 3, 1, 4. For some reason I just don’t enjoy 4 much at all – not to be a heretic, but it seemed as if there were too many retreads from earlier seasons and repeated jokes (Baldric’s bad cooking, the return of Bob and Flashheart, Darling, Blackadder’s analogies ‘it’s as (something) as a (something) in a (something)-ing contest’). In general the humor was too slapsticky/gross-out for my liking. But enough negativity! Some of the quotes here have reminded me how brilliant this series was at the top of its form, which (for me anyway) was in s2 and s3. My favorite eps are _Bells_ and _Head_, but I’d actually like to quote from _Chains_: > [@](#): > > Guard (playing charades to get Edmund to understand his threat): _tus testiculos._ > > Edmund: My, er, yes, _those_, yes … > > Guard: _sobre un fuego grande._ > > Edmund: – over a large … > > Guard: _Fuego, fuego._ (makes flame-like gesture with his hands) > > Edmund: Oh, _fire_. Good, so let’s recap. Er … if I admit that I’m in love– > > Guard: No! No! (rolls over on his back) > > Edmund: Sorry, _head-over-heels_ in love (as the guard prompts him by acting out all the following) with Satan and all his little wizards, then you’ll remove my testicles with a blunt instrument – > > Guard: _Una polana, una polana!_ > > Edmund (nodding): … resembling some kind of gardening tool but we can’t quite establish … Um, and roast them over a large fire. > > Guard: _Si, si!_ > > Edmund: Whereas, if I _don’t_ admit that I’m in love with Satan and – (the guard again prompts him via charades) all his – his little wizards, you’ll hold me upside down in a vat of warm marmalade. > > Guard (gesturing that there’s still more): _y_ …? > > Edmund: _And_ remove my testicles with a blunt … oh, I _see_. Well, in that case: I love Satan. > > Guard: (elated) Oh ho ho! (produces instrument) > > Edmund (light dawning): Oh, it’s a _scythe!_ Finally, we learn how Blackadder/Melchett knew the difference between assassin Ludwig, dressed as a cow, and Nursie in her cow suit: > [@](#): > > Edmund: Because, my Lady, Ludwig was a master of disguise, whereas Nursie is a sad, insane old woman with a udder fixation. Speaking of nursie, I love Flashheart’s greeting to her: “Nursie! I like it firm and fruity!” Good to see ol’ Flash’s got a thing for full-figured gals too. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2004, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/104 "2004-06-19T20:28:43Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > And now I’m trying to think of a plausible scenario for a _Blackadder/Red Dwarf_ crossover . . . It involves a time machine. That’s about as far as I’ve got… ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2004, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/105 "2004-06-19T21:08:18Z")
_Capt. Darling_ Ahhh, Cappuccino! * * * _Crone_ So you know her then? _Edmund_ No, just a wild stab-in-the-dark, which, incidently, is what you’ll be getting if you don’t start being a bit more helpful. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2004, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/106 "2004-06-20T04:21:04Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > (McInnery’s not in BA the Third, Christmas Carol or Cavalier Years, and he’s Darling in Goes Forth & Back & Forth) In _Blackadder The Third_, Tim McInnerny plays one of the Scarlet Pimpernels, aka Lord Topper. ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Boods](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5e9695/32.png) [@Ms\_Boods](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Boods)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2004, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/107 "2004-06-20T05:26:17Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > In _Blackadder The Third_, Tim McInnerny plays one of the Scarlet Pimpernels, aka Lord Topper. You mean, ‘The biggest show-off in London.’ I mean, what’s the bloody point of being the Scarlet Pimpernel if you’re going to fall for the old poisoned-cup routine? Scarlet Pimpernel, my foot! Scarlet Git, more like it! He also portrayed the Compte de Frou Frou, a very down on his luck Frenchie in Mrs Miggins’ shop…Oh – if only he’d brought his mongoose costume! ---
**Author:** ![Mehitabel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mehitabel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mehitabel)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2004, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/108 "2004-06-20T05:29:12Z")
“This large sausage is VERY suspicious.” ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2004, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/109 "2004-06-20T05:42:04Z")
AngelicGemma - I don’t know if the crossover could be done without meltdown, but it’s sure a nice thought. ---
**Author:** ![choie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/choie/32/7829_2.png) [@choie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/choie)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2004, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/110 "2004-06-20T07:36:44Z")
> [@](#): > > And now I’m trying to think of a plausible scenario for a Blackadder/Red Dwarf crossover . . . Can’t be too difficult! We already know that Rimmer was able to TimeSlip back to the Regency period at least once to make things difficult for ol’ Bladder. 😉 (Chris Barrie played a guest role in _Nob and Nobility_) Ooh BTW, **BranGlutton** , re: the Cromwell era, as hinted above in the reference to the “Cavalier Years,” there was a one-off version set in this time period. It was written and performed for _Comic Relief_. 🙂 Here’s a [transcript](http://www.blackadderhall.com/specials/cavalier_years.shtml). ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2004, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/111 "2004-06-20T20:08:47Z")
Ah, yes. > [@](#): > > **EDMUND** > Baldrick, your brain is like the four-headed man-eating haddock fish-beast of Aberdeen. > > **BALDRICK** > In what way? > > **EDMUND** > It doesn’t exist. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2004, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/112 "2004-06-21T12:20:34Z")
> [@Ms Boods](#): > > :eek: > > I may translate a lot of German for a music website, but I assure you, I’m as British as Queen Victoria. and the Sheep-squeezers of Slatycon-5, have they been suck-creamed as a crown-beast’s knobbo? ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Boods](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5e9695/32.png) [@Ms\_Boods](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Boods)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2004, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/113 "2004-06-21T13:08:51Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > and the Sheep-squeezers of Slatycon-5, have they been suck-creamed as a crown-beast’s knobbo? Oh, Albert, you naughty little hobgoblin. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2004, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/114 "2004-06-21T14:20:32Z")
> [@Ms Boods](#): > > Oh, Albert, you naughty little hobgoblin. Have you ever been to Wales? Well don’t, it’s a ghastly place. Huge gangs of tough sinewy men roam the valleys terrifying people with their close harmony singing. You need half a pint of phlegm in your throat just to pronounce the placenames. Never ask for directions in Wales MsBoods, you’ll be washing spit out of your hair for a fortnight. ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Boods](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5e9695/32.png) [@Ms\_Boods](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Boods)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2004, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/115 "2004-06-21T22:43:21Z")
Sorry about the delay, your highness, your highness; was at the library trying to clear up a bit of a bother from an associate – remember, if you want something done properly, kill Baldrick before you start. > [@BMalion](#): > > Have you ever been to Wales? > > Well don’t, it’s a ghastly place. Huge gangs of tough sinewy men > > roam the valleys terrifying people with their close harmony singing. > > You need half a pint of phlegm in your throat just to pronounce the > > placenames. Never ask for directions in Wales MsBoods, you’ll be > > washing spit out of your hair for a fortnight. Actually as, it happens, I _have_ been to Wales – and it’s all true! :eek: 😃🆒 Instead I divide my UK time between London, and north Scotland where I stop with my auntie and uncle – he’s a a top kipper salesman with a reputable firm of Aberdeen fishmongers, and possibly the most dangerous man ever to wear a skirt. ---
**Author:** ![Rodd\_Hill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3ab097/32.png) [@Rodd\_Hill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodd_Hill)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2004, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/116 "2004-06-21T23:19:58Z")
The first series only seems less stellar because of what came after (when Ben Elton joined Richard Curtis as co-writer). You’re no doubt aware that the Spanish Infanta’s translator was named “Don Speekengleesh”? Sean the Irish Bastard: “Let’s kill those meek bastards now!” “See, my Lords, how the Duck of Taunton lives within him!” “I’ve done five bottles!” “Licorice allsort?” “Please accept my apple-ogies.” As a military historian type, I’ll have to give _Goes Forth_ the edge as to my favourite overall. Even the uniforms were great: Baldrick’s is shabby, as if gnawn by rats; the cap badges and insignia are all very cleverly made up–they are spurious, a non-existant regiment. And did you ever notice the (real) British soldiers marching behind them in the opening credit sequence? When Baldrick hits the triangle, there is one lad behind him barely keeping it together. I think it was the Anglian Regiment who performed with the boys. And oh yes, the end credits with the fake old film finish–brilliant, as is the military method of naming in the credits: “C/Dgr - 368807 Hardinge, A.” This is just the way the Great War medals were named. ---
**Author:** ![Rodd\_Hill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3ab097/32.png) [@Rodd\_Hill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodd_Hill)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2004, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/117 "2004-06-21T23:22:44Z")
Oh–and the Flashheart line “Any bird who wants to chain herself to _my_ railings and suffer-a-jet-movement gets _my_ vote!” is quite simply brilliant. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/118 "2004-06-22T00:46:48Z")
“I was on the other side of town when we burned the witch.” ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/119 "2004-06-22T11:58:36Z")
> [@Ms Boods](#): > > and possibly the most dangerous man ever to wear a skirt. that’s funny, I wear a skirt on occaision. :eek: But, I digress. I’ll also have you know that there’s nothing cushy about life in the Women’s Auxillary Ballloon Corps! ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Boods](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5e9695/32.png) [@Ms\_Boods](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Boods)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720/120 "2004-06-22T14:40:50Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > that’s funny, I wear a skirt on occaision. :eek: > > But, I digress. > > I’ll also have you know that there’s nothing cushy about life in the Women’s Auxillary Ballloon Corps! Thanks, Tamex, for starting this thread! As a consequence I am not doing my work, but have instead hauled out all my vids. Nothing is getting done around here, and if you saw my schedule for the next 3 months :eek: doesn’t begin to cover it. So suffice to say, I shall be brief, as I have, rather unfortunately, become Prime Minister right in the middle of my exams. So in gratitude, I would like to treat you all at Mrs Miggans’ pie shop, where, I understand, she is baking an enormous commemorative pie, in the shape of a pie! I now put upon the leader of the Opposition to test me on my Latin vocab. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-cunning-plan-lets-start-a-blackadder-thread/250720.md?page=7)