# I have a date on Wednesday **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 11, 2017, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-date-on-wednesday/790997 "2017-07-11T14:27:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-date-on-wednesday/790997/21 "2017-07-11T20:06:23Z")
Go into it just wanting to be yourself and have an enjoyable time, meeting someone new. Go in knowing, no matter how it goes, (even sideways from Sunday), you’ll be okay with that, remain happy and just move on to whatever comes next. Because you will, in fact do exactly that! For a mantra I would lean towards, “I’m giving myself permission to just relax and be cool!” This is pretty effective for people who tend to ‘get in their own way’, just give yourself permission, in advance, to not screw it up. (You may be surprised to discover this actually works!) Wishing you great Good Luck! (I think you’ll do just fine!) ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-date-on-wednesday/790997/22 "2017-07-11T20:08:50Z")
> [@Icarus](#): > > To expand on this, be actively curious, ask questions, delve, (but don’t interrogate!). > > Don’t strive to be interesting, strive to be interested! You know, this sounds like good advice. But I have a some issues with it in practice. It seems to either fall into “behave in a certain way to make her like you, i.e, get her into the sack” territory. Or, otherwise, it’s advice for obnoxious people who only like to talk about themselves, and frankly, I don’t want to give those people advice to help them reproduce. Frankly, I’ve come to the conclusion, although YMMV, that my date is exactly as interesting to me as she is. If we have a good conversation, we have a good conversation. Otherwise, maybe we shouldn’t be dating. Conversation quality is a great gauge of chemistry. If you’re trying to fake it, you’re missing out on information. Besides, if I do want to get the lady into the sack, I tend to find that the things she say automatically become interesting. So it usually takes care of itself. In fact, if I’m not sure if I’m interested in someone, I can reverse-engineer the whole dilemma this way. Do I want to take things further with this lady? Well, do I find her interesting? If no, then no. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-date-on-wednesday/790997/23 "2017-07-11T20:09:51Z")
BTW, I’m happy to see that everyone is taking the penis thing so literally. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-date-on-wednesday/790997/24 "2017-07-11T20:12:48Z")
For rule #4 I’d definitely go with the listening and not the huge penis version. Nothing says creepy quite so much as your date leaning forward, gazing into your eyes, and whispering “I have a yuuuuuge schlong.” I’m guessing you already know that though. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-date-on-wednesday/790997/25 "2017-07-11T20:17:37Z")
Rule, #4, new version: If your date tells you that she has a huge schlong, listen and pay attention. ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-date-on-wednesday/790997/26 "2017-07-11T20:28:06Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > BTW, I’m happy to see that everyone is taking the penis thing so literally. Sadly, I’ve been on many first (and only) dates where the guy did find it necessary to discuss his penis – or show photos of it – or whip out the real thing. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-date-on-wednesday/790997/27 "2017-07-11T20:40:13Z")
BTW, I don’t think it’s a good idea \*not \*to strive to be interesting. There’s nothing wrong with being interesting. Sitting in your parents’ basement playing computer games isn’t a great strategy for life. But there’s \*being \*interesting, and then there’s talking about how interesting you are. Maybe I’m being persnickety, but I really think this is super important. Being interesting is the training pitch, not the match. You climb Mount Everest, have a career, or find yourself in the possession of some very large male-specific anatomy, on the training pitch. Then you go to the match, and don’t think about any of it. It’ll come out eventually. No penis pun intended. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-date-on-wednesday/790997/28 "2017-07-11T22:03:42Z")
> [@ioioio](#): > > Sadly, I’ve been on many first (and only) dates where the guy did find it necessary to discuss his penis – or show photos of it – or whip out the real thing. :eek: _Many?_ No offense or anything, but you might want to start screening your potential dates better. ---
**Author:** ![Marci\_Al](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47c2d/32.png) [@Marci\_Al](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marci_Al)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-date-on-wednesday/790997/29 "2017-07-11T23:24:11Z")
Wear cologne so that she’ll remember the smell. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-date-on-wednesday/790997/30 "2017-07-11T23:46:18Z")
> [@ioioio](#): > > or whip out the real thing. :eek: You’ve had guys whip out their dicks on a first date? Really?! I think part of the problem is the type of guys you are attracted to. Because that is not normal behavior at all. ---
**Author:** ![Hurk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecc23a/32.png) [@Hurk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hurk)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2017, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-date-on-wednesday/790997/31 "2017-07-12T00:10:47Z")
> [@Quasimodal](#): > > I really haven’t dated seriously in about 2ish years. Met some women, but really never pursued. Mostly cause I was burnt out. So I’m wading back in. Wish me luck, whatever that means.A lady I met on Tinder. We are going for Ice Cream. But I’m trying to set myself up for success…maybe with some important mantras for the encounter. What do you think? > > 1. Just be yourself. > 2. Relax, it’s just a meeting > 3. If I get to spend one enjoyable hour with a lady, that’s a gift in itself. Anything more is a bonus. > 4. Listen and be respectful > 5. Breathe and just go with the flow. > > I don’t know. Sound ok? I really am feeling weird about trying this whole thing again. > > Well wishes accepted. I’m glad I have a date this week in summer. I’m a teacher, and I’ve been dreading the alone time i have this week. Next week I’m on a trip…this one is the tough one right now. You’re lucky; I’m jealous. ☹ Those days are gone for me, but I made the best of them at the time. There is NOTHING that can replace a woman’s company. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2017, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-date-on-wednesday/790997/32 "2017-07-12T00:39:42Z")
> [@Marci\_Al](#): > > Wear cologne so that she’ll remember the smell. Well, I’m sure she’ll remember the sight well enough. Wait, are we still talking about whipping out your penis? ---
**Author:** ![Marci\_Al](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47c2d/32.png) [@Marci\_Al](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marci_Al)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2017, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-date-on-wednesday/790997/33 "2017-07-12T02:58:57Z")
It’s called hedging. She’ll remember your appearance if you’re a looker. If you’re ugly, then maybe she’ll remember that you’re funny, and that you smell good. As to the dick whipping part, never heard it done. Now, if the first date is meant for the sole purpose of having sex, my own experience tells me to come clean-looking and relaxed, but cut the crap about anything else. Invite her to go with you to your apartment or hotel within 10 minutes of meeting up. Talking about yourself or whipping anything out is just a waste of time. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2017, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-date-on-wednesday/790997/34 "2017-07-12T03:17:44Z")
I was 41 when I got back into the dating scene. I made one big change from when I was younger. I decided it was at least as important that I liked them as it was that they liked me. My goal for each date was to have a nice time with good company. I really enjoyed the process of getting to know each other with no facades. A little bit of self deprecation at the right times, be a good listener. No bragging. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2017, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-date-on-wednesday/790997/35 "2017-07-12T03:45:47Z")
> [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > Nothing says creepy quite so much as your date leaning forward, gazing into your eyes, and whispering “I have a yuuuuuge schlong.” I’m guessing you already know that though. 😛 I see what you did there. Well, what can I say? Live and learn. ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2017, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-date-on-wednesday/790997/36 "2017-07-12T05:12:32Z")
> [@ioioio](#): > > Sadly, I’ve been on many first (and only) dates where the guy did find it necessary to discuss his penis – or show photos of it – or whip out the real thing. :eek: > [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > _Many?_ No offense or anything, but you might want to start screening your potential dates better. > [@Ambivalid](#): > > You’ve had guys whip out their dicks on a first date? Really?! I think part of the problem is the type of guys you are attracted to. Because that is not normal behavior at all. I just added U.S. Presidents and congressmen to my “Do Not Date” list. That should help. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2017, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-date-on-wednesday/790997/37 "2017-07-12T20:04:15Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > 1. Don’t lie about your penis size. **Martian Bigfoot** , what kind of people do you date? In all my years of dating and hooking up with women, that’s a question that never ever came up. What would there be to lie about? Eventually they were going to see it and could judge for themselves. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2017, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-date-on-wednesday/790997/38 "2017-07-12T20:30:21Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > **Martian Bigfoot** , what kind of people do you date? Urologists. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2017, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-date-on-wednesday/790997/39 "2017-07-12T20:42:52Z")
Congrats and have fun. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2017, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-date-on-wednesday/790997/40 "2017-07-12T20:55:15Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > **Martian Bigfoot** , what kind of people do you date? > > In all my years of dating and hooking up with women, that’s a question that never ever came up. What would there be to lie about? Eventually they were going to see it and could judge for themselves. It happened all the time with me. “Wait are you REALLY as big as they say?” Sigh…it was a toll, but what are ya gonna do? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-date-on-wednesday/790997.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-date-on-wednesday/790997.md?page=3)