# I have a fear of going to bed. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 28, 2010, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-fear-of-going-to-bed/541052 "2010-05-28T07:29:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-fear-of-going-to-bed/541052/41 "2010-05-29T06:23:21Z")
So it’s almost 11:30 and the heart palpitations are starting… ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-fear-of-going-to-bed/541052/42 "2010-05-29T06:49:56Z")
Weird, it’s an actual fear: [Clinophobia](http://healthmad.com/mental-health/clinophobia-the-fear-of-going-to-bed/) ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-fear-of-going-to-bed/541052/43 "2010-05-29T09:11:16Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Actually, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is the therapy of choice for anxiety/panic disorders, and talking yourself out of it is kind of what you do. > > My credentials - I’m recovered from an anxiety disorder myself, and I’m a co-leader of an anxiety support group in real life. I’d argue that the behavioral component does a lot more than you are giving credit for here. Some even argue that the only reason for the cognitive is to get you to be able to do the behavioral, which is what actually effects long-lasting change. The only way I was able to beat it was to stay up for a few days, and then wait until I passed out. I then went to bed at the exact same time the next day, and, although I got really anxious, I actually fell asleep again. I just had to make going to sleep a habit. When I get off now, I usually take a little something to reestablish the sleep cycle, and then go off that medicine. I also had a bit of help from a therapist, but, seeing as I’ve been in therapy for years, I mostly wound up handling it by myself. The therapist mostly just provided reassurance and support. (I couldn’t get to see him often enough due to my agoraphobia, and it was too far away for him to come here.) ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2010, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-fear-of-going-to-bed/541052/44 "2010-05-30T01:22:32Z")
Thinking about you tonight, Floaty. Hope you get through another night okay. {{{Hugs}}} Can you leave all the lights in your house on and draw the blinds/shades and pretend it’s daytime outside? Sometimes that works for me. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2010, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-fear-of-going-to-bed/541052/45 "2010-05-30T02:06:36Z")
I had a bad case of this several years ago and my solution was: don’t go to bed. When I have a night like that I sleep on the sofa or in a chair, in my clothes. In my case it began when someone tried to break into my apartment in the middle of the night, and got a lot worse when my dad died. Now, I just don’t even try to fight it. Go to bed, get up, put clothes back on, tuck myself in on the sofa, and often go right to sleep. ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2010, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-fear-of-going-to-bed/541052/46 "2010-05-30T02:20:30Z")
Well now that I’ve acknowledged it and it’s bothering me, I think I’m going to do what I did years ago with OCD. When I was 10 I started having these compulsions that I couldn’t seem to ignore. Most it was if I was walking outside I’d have to touch the license plates of parked cars and certain marks on wooden telephone poles. Eventually I was crossing the street, back and forth, touching cars and telephone poles. Then I’d see something in my room that wasn’t “right”, like a shirt sleeve hanging weird, or an ornament that wasn’t symmetrical. I’d have to get up out of bed over and over to fix things. It started getting really ridiculous and I realized that if I didn’t stop, it was going to start consuming my life. So I forced myself to quit. I think I’m just going to have to ignore it and go to bed rather than give in to it. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2010, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-fear-of-going-to-bed/541052/47 "2010-05-30T04:34:39Z")
> [@FloatyGimpy](#): > > Well now that I’ve acknowledged it and it’s bothering me, I think I’m going to do what I did years ago with OCD.\ > It started getting really ridiculous and I realized that if I didn’t stop, it was going to start consuming my life. So I forced myself to quit. > > I think I’m just going to have to ignore it and go to bed rather than give in to it. That is kind of where we try to get our group members to go, eventually. Most of them are only willing to try baby steps; if you want to just say, “Enough” and face down your fears, more power to you. Don’t forget - anxiety won’t hurt you. It’s just an emotion. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2010, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-fear-of-going-to-bed/541052/48 "2010-05-30T15:35:31Z")
> [@](#): > > **Cat Whisperer** : …anxiety won’t hurt you. It’s just an emotion. You and I don’t disagree often, **Cat** , but this is one of them. I would never describe anything as “just” an emotion anyway. But fear is an emotion. Anxiety is a physical reaction for me. And it gets worse for other people who feel like they are having a heart attack. I’ve had it make me unable to continue to walk down a hallway; I had to lie down in the floor. Anxiety attacks have awakened me for sleep! They’ve even fogged up my glasses. And, of course, they make me feel that I can’t breathe and have to have fresh air. I used to wake up in the morning with waves of nausea just rolling over me from anxiety. I wasn’t fearful of anything. The anxiety was the problem itself. In the 1960s I had many rounds of electro-shock-treatment. I didn’t know what was happening because I was put to sleep each time. Once I found out, I became afraid of going to sleep. That stayed with me for a long time and I would fight going to sleep. That stayed with me for a long time. It helps me tremendously to have lots of comfy pillows, a comforter, pretty sheets, a backrub from **Zeldar** (when I’m really anxious) and something to listen to as I go to sleep. When Zeldar and I first married, we had a tape that began with the Doors “Riders on the Storm” that was then followed with almost 90 minutes of a rain storm. That was great! (We made the cassette tape ourselves.) At the moment I have a tape that has wind chimes on it – but not so often as to be disturbing. My favorite was an Alpine Blizzard. I would play the tape while running a video tape of a fireplace. Ooooh. I need a new cassette tape player and they are hard to find. And I take 3 xanax every niight. They knock me out. I’ve done this for over twenty years. I don’t recommend getting started unless you are truly out of your mind with anxiety. (I was.) It is very, very difficult to withdraw.) I began with four a night plus a sleeping pill. Now when you see me up late, it’s because I’m having a good time or because it’s the only time I can get the computer! If your mind just won’t quit racing, I suggest that you talk with a physician. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2010, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-fear-of-going-to-bed/541052/49 "2010-05-31T05:33:39Z")
Sorry, **Zoe** , I’m still not going to agree that anxiety will actually hurt people and is worthy of the fear and awe that anxiety and panic disorder sufferers give it. Happiness is an emotion, too, but no one fears it and takes medication for it - why treat anxiety so specially? It’s just another emotion in our human toolkit, and some people have it inappropriately (i.e. in situations where there is nothing that needs to be fought or run away from). I’m sorry too, that you don’t seem to ever have gotten good treatment for your anxiety disorder. That’s not unusual, though, unfortunately. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2010, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-fear-of-going-to-bed/541052/50 "2010-05-31T06:09:07Z")
> [@ajb867](#): > > [www.rainymood.com](http://www.rainymood.com) Thanks! Don’t get to hear this much in Las Vegas - perhaps 3-4 times a year. Actually, last time it rained during the day my college class all got up and went to look out the window to see the rain - that should be an indication. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-fear-of-going-to-bed/541052/51 "2010-06-06T00:30:11Z")
Floaty, how are you doing? ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-fear-of-going-to-bed/541052/52 "2010-06-06T01:15:38Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Floaty, how are you doing? It’s been a bit difficult, the heart palpitations have been bad. I’ve been forcing myself to go to bed at 11:30 or 12:00 but then I just end up laying there, awake, till about 2:00. Last night I broke down and took a sleeping aid and it helped a lot. ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-fear-of-going-to-bed/541052/53 "2010-06-06T01:27:46Z")
I haven’t seen anyone mention this yet, so I’ll throw it out. Just another thing to try. It’s from a book called _The Emotional Energy Factor_ by Mira Kirshenbaum. It’s one of my favorite books. She writes: > [@](#): > > Night thoughts > When you’re emotionally tired, the demons come out at night. > You put your head on the pillow, but instead of the blessing of sleep the curse of painful thoughts afflicts your poor brain. Worries sprout like weeds. Sadness spreads like red wine spilled on a white tablecloth. If you’re lucky enough to fall asleep, maybe you wake up in the middle of the night, and then the night thoughts come out. That sounds like a bit of what you’ve described. She notes that night thoughts often seem so real and so “right” but often they’re just distortions scaring us. Her solution is to keep good sleep hygiene, sleep at the same time every night, no caffeine and a bit of complex carbohydrates sometime before bed with a soothing routine like taking a bath or reading a book. She also recommends having a list of other things to think about when these thoughts arise. Some examples include: -play tennis or golf games in your head -remember all the people you’ve ever known -list all the books you’ve ever read -try to remember in detail the last movie you saw In other words, her recommendation is to concentrate on anything that immerses your attention away from the night thoughts. And if you have a list of things to think about (preferable written down where it’s easily accessible at night), you can shift your focus away from worry. I hope you find something that works for you. Sleep well! ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-fear-of-going-to-bed/541052/54 "2010-06-06T01:45:39Z")
> [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](#): > > It’s from a book called _The Emotional Energy Factor_ by Mira Kirshenbaum. It’s one of my favorite books. She writes: > > Night thoughts > When you’re emotionally tired, the demons come out at night. > You put your head on the pillow, but instead of the blessing of sleep the curse of painful thoughts afflicts your poor brain. Worries sprout like weeds. Sadness spreads like red wine spilled on a white tablecloth. If you’re lucky enough to fall asleep, maybe you wake up in the middle of the night, and then the night thoughts come out. Yeah that’s what happens alright. I often end up laying there crying because of the things I end up thinking about. I end up thinking of all the bad things going on in the world, bad things that have happened to me, that are happening to others, suffering animals ( I don’t dare watch the news right now ) and my future and the feelings of overwhelming despair are sometimes more than I can take. Then I’ll start counting but I have to count super fast so that I can only think of the counting. It’s pretty pathetic really, laying there, crying, heart beating out of my chest, furiously counting. Lol, no wonder I don’t like to go to bed! ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-fear-of-going-to-bed/541052/55 "2010-06-06T01:48:24Z")
> [@](#): > > When you’re emotionally tired, the demons come out at night. > You put your head on the pillow, but instead of the blessing of sleep the curse of painful thoughts afflicts your poor brain. Worries sprout like weeds. Sadness spreads like red wine spilled on a white tablecloth. If you’re lucky enough to fall asleep, maybe you wake up in the middle of the night, and then the night thoughts come out. Wow! This is SO true. NOTHING looks good at 3:00 AM. I’m going to look for that book. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-fear-of-going-to-bed/541052/56 "2010-06-06T02:10:58Z")
I know nothing about this sort of thing, but it seems like this amount of anxiety keeping you up this much has to be something that can be helped with anti-anxiety meds. Maybe people with more experience/knowledge about this can offer information here. I don’t know the difference between anxiety attacks and panic attacks, or if they’re the same thing, even, but I know many people who’ve gotten medicine for them. ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-fear-of-going-to-bed/541052/57 "2010-06-06T02:17:29Z")
I’ve been on anti-anxiety and anti-depression meds. They worked really well for me but I gained so much weight when I was on them. I’ve also gone to therapists on and off for 23 years and it works also. My depression/anxiety symptoms are situational and I’m pretty sure that what’s bothering me right now is my living situation. But I’ve got a big change coming soon! I’m hopeful that it will alleviate some of my night-time issues. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-fear-of-going-to-bed/541052/58 "2010-06-06T02:26:03Z")
When my husband travels for work I have trouble sleeping and I would stay up until the wee hours of the night. Using the automatic sleep timer on our bedroom TV helped break the habit. I would set the timer to 90 minutes, put on boring tv (like shopping network) and turn out all the lights. On nights that I would stay up until three or four I was asleep by 11:30 or midnight. I broke the panic habit and now can sleep without him without needing the tv. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-fear-of-going-to-bed/541052/59 "2010-06-06T03:19:03Z")
Why shouldn’t one fall asleep while meditating? Is your soul unmoored or something and might drift away? :eek: Great, something ELSE to worry about! … Suffering from an anxiety disorder myself, I totally sympathize. I’ve given up trying to actually go to sleep in a bed, the minute I turn out the light I’m wide awake, fidgeting, and only annoying Mr. Sali, who hits the hay at 10 p.m. and sleeps like a log for a solid 8 hours, the bastard! So, I just veg out on the couch, nodding out right there if I’m lucky. Doze, wake, doze, wake, doze…I don’t eat much during the day, so if I eat something late in the evening, the digestion process is calming. And ice cream… Morbid thoughts? I try the breathing in-two-three-four, hold two-three-four, exhale two-three-four…Read boring stuff on the computer I’ve been meaning to look at…The surefire cure for sleeplessness? Getting in to those overdue library books I have to bring back - you’ll find me passed out never getting past page four…Why is going to bed such a chore? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-fear-of-going-to-bed/541052/60 "2010-06-06T03:51:35Z")
> [@FloatyGimpy](#): > > I’ve been on anti-anxiety and anti-depression meds. They worked really well for me but I gained so much weight when I was on them. I’ve also gone to therapists on and off for 23 years and it works also. My depression/anxiety symptoms are situational and I’m pretty sure that what’s bothering me right now is my living situation. But I’ve got a big change coming soon! I’m hopeful that it will alleviate some of my night-time issues. Hold on, girl! If your stresses are situational, just hold on and tough it out. This won’t last forever. > [@salinqmind](#): > > Why shouldn’t one fall asleep while meditating? Is your soul unmoored or something and might drift away? :eek: Great, something ELSE to worry about! \ It’s not supposed to be the “right” way to meditate. My response to that is a big fat raspberry - meditation would make me so blissfully relaxed, and I welcomed it with both arms. Maybe the difference is what you’re trying to achieve; I wasn’t looking for enlightenment or anything, just a method to slow down my racing thoughts, and it works just fine for that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-fear-of-going-to-bed/541052.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-fear-of-going-to-bed/541052.md?page=4)