# I have a mastication problem **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 4, 2001, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-mastication-problem/64306 "2001-05-04T03:42:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Airbeck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/airbeck/32/6574_2.png) [@Airbeck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airbeck)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-mastication-problem/64306/1 "2001-05-04T03:42:41Z")
I have a problem with mastication. I can’t seem to stop. I do it at least three times a day. I seem to get urges to masticate as soon as I get up and at regular times throughout the rest of the day. Sometimes I masticate for a long time, up to thirty minutes or so at a time, and sometimes I just masticate for a few minutes. I’ve been told that it’s normal to masticate, that everyone does it. But, do they do it several times a day, every day? I try to resist the urges to masticate, but they get too strong to ignore. Especially when they have all sorts of commercials on TV that are designed to stimulate the desire to masticate. Maybe I need help with my mastication problem. I’ve even tried to cut down on my mastication, but in the end I always succumb to the primal masticatory urges. Maybe I am normal, maybe everyone masticates, maybe mastication is just a normal bodily function. In fact, maybe it’s unhealthy to _not_ masticate. So, do you guys masticate? Do you feel that you masticate too much? just so there’s no confusion: **masticate** (verb) - to chew ones food :D:D:D:D ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-mastication-problem/64306/2 "2001-05-04T03:48:04Z")
So, what’s the deal? You got word of the day toilet paper or something? ---
**Author:** ![Earthling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/90db22/32.png) [@Earthling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthling)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-mastication-problem/64306/3 "2001-05-04T03:58:04Z")
When I masticate, it is often accompanied by eructions. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-mastication-problem/64306/4 "2001-05-04T04:05:36Z")
I cast my vote for “Thread Most Likely to Die”. ---
**Author:** ![Airbeck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/airbeck/32/6574_2.png) [@Airbeck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airbeck)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-mastication-problem/64306/5 "2001-05-04T04:10:59Z")
thanks for the support ---
**Author:** ![5CentCigar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/ea5d25/32.png) [@5CentCigar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5CentCigar)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-mastication-problem/64306/6 "2001-05-04T05:18:12Z")
Your epidermis is showing. ---
**Author:** ![VitrolicBump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a587f6/32.png) [@VitrolicBump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VitrolicBump)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-mastication-problem/64306/7 "2001-05-04T06:18:45Z")
Oh, quit being an elocutionist. Someone can “wrap me up in sweet attrition”, though.😉 I **am** kidding. You know that, right? _ **Right** _? Oh, yeah, and I masticate too, but you don’t see me freaking out over it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-mastication-problem/64306/8 "2001-05-04T11:51:06Z")
I think the real question here is: When you masticate, does it taste good? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Airbeck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/airbeck/32/6574_2.png) [@Airbeck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airbeck)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-mastication-problem/64306/9 "2001-05-04T14:44:17Z")
When I masticate, I have a tendancy to get crumb all over the place. 😃