# I have a month to make a very big decision :( **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 19, 2009, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-month-to-make-a-very-big-decision/490074 "2009-03-19T21:23:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Slainte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Slainte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slainte)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-month-to-make-a-very-big-decision/490074/41 "2009-03-23T21:26:36Z")
> [@I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](#): > > Hearing that others have been through difficult struggles with mental health problems and have come out the other side is so extremely encouraging. I’m glad that I (and the rest of the people in this thread) am able to encourage you. The biggest thing I learned from that time in my life is this: mental health issues (whether it is depression or an eating disorder) are as worthy of empathy and compassion as cancer or diabetes is. Best wishes to you. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-month-to-make-a-very-big-decision/490074/42 "2009-03-23T22:12:01Z")
> [@I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](#): > > I know I haven’t been using the dope for very long and so haven’t made much of an impact here I don’t know if it’s your wonderful username or what, but I definitely recognize you and know that you have made a positive impact. I’m so impressed that you are getting yourself the help you need. Best wishes/ ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-month-to-make-a-very-big-decision/490074/43 "2009-03-23T22:17:51Z")
It’s been a few days since I sent you a supportive post, so I just wanted to stop in and see how things were going. There’s some good advice and lots of love in this thread! Don’t put too much on yourself. One thing at a time is ok. You’re young, so get yourself worked out, and then work on something else. When that’s done, work on something else. You’re going to be ok! You sound ready. Big hugs, girl. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-month-to-make-a-very-big-decision/490074/44 "2009-03-24T02:03:06Z")
It’s one day closer to a treatment which will change your life for the better. Woo hoo!!! You’re being given a chance to be emancipated from a disease that has turned you against yourself. That’s not how you want to live, is it? Go! Go! Go! ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-month-to-make-a-very-big-decision/490074/45 "2009-03-24T02:52:33Z")
> [@Faruiza](#): > > You have to go, hippos. If you don’t, you’ll never learn that this quote is the disease lulling you into complacency. It does **NOT** keep you safe and happy. It is killing you. That’s the disorder’s only goal. It does not love you or help you love yourself. It wants to kill you. Do not indulge it. Go and do what you have to to get better. Three months gone is nothing compared to how gone you’ll be if you don’t give up those three months. > > Sending you supportive thoughts! **GO**! **Faruiza** said it better than I could. It’s your life. Literally. GO! ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-month-to-make-a-very-big-decision/490074/46 "2009-03-24T03:07:10Z")
So, did anyone mention that you should go? 🙂 I’ve been lurking without knowing what to say. Guess I’ll just let you know that there’s one more person out here cheering you on. Hope you can update us about your treatment. If not, I hope your dad can let us know how things are going. Lots of good wishes for a healing time that leads you to a brand-new life. GT ---
**Author:** ![I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4491bb/32.png) [@I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Have_Hippos_In_My_Garden)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-month-to-make-a-very-big-decision/490074/47 "2009-03-24T08:29:30Z")
> [@](#): > > 1. Live > 2. Make every step you take, take you one step closer to your goals. I love that advice thank you, it sounds so simple and so easy but it is actually very true! I feel as though I kind of have two weeks ‘‘off’’ from everything at the moment, treatment wise that is. My CPN is away for two weeks and my appointment about going into hospital isn’t for a while so I’m just focusing on trying to get through each day at the moment. On the good side things feel less pressured, on the bad side the eating disorder voice has reared its ugly head and gone a bit mad because I don’t feel ‘watched’. And probably it is because I know I’ll have to start eating soon. > [@](#): > > So, did anyone mention that you should go? Uh-huh, yes! I’ve got that impression, you all think I should go right?! There hasn’t been any wavering in that opinion!It has definitely made me feel stronger in my own mind about going, so thank you so much. > [@](#): > > I definitely recognize you and know that you have made a positive impact I’m so touched, thank you. > [@](#): > > If you go and become better friends with yourself, that is as worthwhile. I love that thank you!I never think about becoming better friends with myself. I really hate myself so the idea of being my own friend is a little alien but perfectly possible right? I haven’t really mentioned it here but I do have friends who have eating disorders. Two of my best friends have or have had anorexia and bulimia and so we constantly support each other through the crap and have a mutual understanding that I don’t have with many other friends. However I didn’t meet these friends through our problems. We went to uni or school together or live near each other and I guess have just been brought closer by our problems. I guess a bit of me is scared that if I go away and start to get better I will leave them behind and our friendship won’t be the same anymore. I not thinking about myself at the moment (she says after writing gallons all about herself). My sister and her boyfriend are travelling in Thailand at the moment and they have been in a motorbike accident (they are okay just scared, cut and bruised I think) so I feel a little preoccupied by that, which means my stuff sits in the background for now, I’ll deal with it later. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-month-to-make-a-very-big-decision/490074/48 "2009-03-24T09:17:04Z")
> [@I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](#): > > I haven’t really mentioned it here but I do have friends who have eating disorders. Two of my best friends have or have had anorexia and bulimia and so we constantly support each other through the crap and have a mutual understanding that I don’t have with many other friends. However I didn’t meet these friends through our problems. We went to uni or school together or live near each other and I guess have just been brought closer by our problems. I guess a bit of me is scared that if I go away and start to get better I will leave them behind and our friendship won’t be the same anymore. I would think your friendships would be greatly improved if you could be a strong positive role model for your friends. Imagine the difference you could make to their lives by modeling healthy, normal behaviours in all aspects of your life. You could be the one person that really makes a difference to their lives. And that would be kinda cool, dontcha think? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4491bb/32.png) [@I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Have_Hippos_In_My_Garden)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-month-to-make-a-very-big-decision/490074/49 "2009-03-24T09:19:21Z")
> [@](#): > > And that would be kinda cool, dontcha think? Yeah, I guess it would 😉 ---
**Author:** ![newcrasher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b3f665/32.png) [@newcrasher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/newcrasher)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-month-to-make-a-very-big-decision/490074/50 "2009-03-24T10:26:25Z")
Hey **Hippos**. I realize I am a little late to this thread, but here is my input. I had (have) compulsive eating disorder. You mentioned comfort. Massive overeating made me comfortable. I was out of control. Because I was not emotionally well, I had no idea how much harm I was doing to muself. I know you are not over eating, but you get the gist. After many attempts at self-treatment and out-patient treatment, I was persuded to go to an in-patient facility at Duke University for 3 weeks. It was wonderful. It is like hitting a big “RESET” button on life. You probably will not have internet access, at least initially. You probably will not have phone access either. You probably have built routines around your eating that you are not aware of, and honestly the internet often factors into those routines. In a clinic you will be unencumbered by the old routines, and will have the opportunity to restart, with new, health ones! This is the chance of a lifetime! I am glad to hear you are going. My prayers are with you. I will be watching with great interest to see how you are doing. Peace, Jayson ---
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-month-to-make-a-very-big-decision/490074/51 "2009-03-24T11:44:01Z")
Hi **Hippos!** There is nothing I can say that hasn’t already been said. I honestly think you should go. And you do make a positive impact in other people’s lives. Every time I see your username, it makes me smile. In addition to that, you have always come across as friendly and caring. I hope everything works out for you, especially that your boyfriend agrees on your baby-name choices - they’re beautiful! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-month-to-make-a-very-big-decision/490074.md?page=2)