# I Have A New Girlfriend! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 12, 2000, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-girlfriend/29073 "2000-08-12T04:29:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2000, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-girlfriend/29073/1 "2000-08-12T04:29:47Z")
Okay, a TV girlfriend, but I’m in love. Okay, maybe it’s just a crush. But she’s great! She’s tough, she’s vulnerable, she’s smart, and she’s H-O-T hot! Did I mention she’s a redhead? (Not that that matters to me, but … okay, so it’s intriguing.) Her name is Jordana Spiro. She’s on the new USA show “The Huntress”, playing Brandi Thorsen. The show’s sorta based on the true-life exploits of a mother-daughter bounty hunting team. Makes me want to commit a crime, just so I can skip bail. (Come to think of it, Annette O’Toole is pretty hot, too. But I digress.) _Sigh_ I’m officially staking claim, so you other bozos take notice - hands off! (Yeah right.) Not that I have given up anything for Sarah Michelle Gellar, I’m just hedging my bets. (So how pathetic am I? Don’t answer that.) And yes, I’m sure someone’s going to pick up on that “other” part above. ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2000, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-girlfriend/29073/2 "2000-08-12T05:41:13Z")
Well, just so you know, the girl on _Dark Angel_’s going out with me. She doesn’t know it yet, but that’s okay. Does this make me sound like a pig? Well, that’s okay, because for the right girl I will be. Male pigs have 24 hour orgasms, you know. I’m not sure if this is a good thing or not, but it sure sounds like fun, don’t it? ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2000, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-girlfriend/29073/3 "2000-08-12T06:59:40Z")
Links? Pictures? ---
**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2000, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-girlfriend/29073/4 "2000-08-12T07:08:25Z")
Lucky you. Of course, I’m getting set up with a new girl coming into our school this year thanks to a friend of mine, so I do get the added benefit of human contact… and for some reason, this girl imagines me to be a really good kisser (that’s what she told my friend, anyway). And about that 24-hour orgasm for pigs thing… I’m almost certain that’s a myth and Cecil wrote about it. Off to search for his column… Ah, here we go. [Do female pigs have six-minute orgasms?](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_064b.html) ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2000, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-girlfriend/29073/5 "2000-08-12T07:14:01Z")
Hm, I got a few thousand points for it playing sex trivia on the Megatouch (sounds dirty, don’t it?) machines at a local arcade. Somebody should write them… ::shrugs:: Poor piggies… ---
**Author:** ![Michi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@Michi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michi)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2000, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-girlfriend/29073/6 "2000-08-12T10:47:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SanibelMan \* > \*\*Lucky you. Of course, I’m getting set up with a new girl coming into our school this year thanks to a friend of mine, so I do get the added benefit of human contact… and for some reason, this girl imagines me to be a really good kisser (that’s what she told my friend, anyway). > \*\* Does this mean I don’t get to go to the prom with you? ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2000, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-girlfriend/29073/7 "2000-08-12T11:32:16Z")
Yeah, well, I have dibs on Tom Paris and Harry Kim from Voyager. ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2000, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-girlfriend/29073/8 "2000-08-12T13:13:20Z")
Am I the only one who read Irishman’s first sentence and thought he meant “a transvestite girlfriend”? ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2000, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-girlfriend/29073/9 "2000-08-12T19:00:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pldennison \* > \*\*Am I the only one who read Irishman’s first sentence and thought he meant “a transvestite girlfriend”? \*\* ROFLMSAO! 🙂 😛 😃 😉 ---
**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2000, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-girlfriend/29073/10 "2000-08-12T19:14:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Michi \* > \*\*Does this mean I don’t get to go to the prom with you? \*\* Sure you can go! It’s not like I’ve talked to this girl yet… and I’ll tell her you have dibs. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by pldennison_ > **Am I the only one who read Irishman’s first sentence and thought he meant “a transvestite girlfriend”?** Yeah, I think you might be. Give me another 3 months and I’ll join you. I mean, I’m already at the point where I can’t hear the word “snowball” without wincing… ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2000, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-girlfriend/29073/11 "2000-08-15T04:51:19Z")
DRY, I went looking. I just found out she was on an episode of Buffy! [http://elusio.simplenet.com/elysium/az/j.htm](http://elusio.simplenet.com/elysium/az/j.htm) Jordana Spiro Actress - played Callie, in Reptile Boy. Can only find a couple of other things she’s starred in: From Dusk Till Dawn 3: The Hangman’s Daughter (which also features Ara Celi), Her Last Chance and If These Walls Could Talk. Here’s the only pic I could dig up. It doesn’t do her justice. [http://www.jeffgoode.com/tv/undressed/mareth.gif](http://www.jeffgoode.com/tv/undressed/mareth.gif) She was also apparently on a Beverly Hills 90210 episode. Michi said: > [@](#): > > Does this mean I don’t get to go to the prom with you? No, I’d be delighted to go to prom with you, I just don’t know who’s prom that would be. Oh, you weren’t talking to me. ☹😉 pldennison remarked viciously: > [@](#): > > Am I the only one who read Irishman’s first sentence and thought he meant “a transvestite girlfriend”? OW! Abbreviations suck! Hey wait, she’s a girl that wears pants a lot, does that count? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2000, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-girlfriend/29073/12 "2000-08-15T05:06:02Z")
Here I was, coming to congratulate you…well, I’ll just say…um…yay for you?? ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2000, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-girlfriend/29073/13 "2000-08-15T13:23:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pldennison \* > \*\*Am I the only one who read Irishman’s first sentence and thought he meant “a transvestite girlfriend”? \*\* Not at all. My first thought after reading the title was, “I could post a thread with the same title, except that Mrs. SS wouldn’t see the humor”. Then I read the first sentence of the OP and instantaneously knew that I’d _not_ post a “me too”. 😉 TV girlfriend huh? Perhaps a young “Tom Hanks”? That way we don’t have to guess at the meaning of TV! ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2000, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-girlfriend/29073/14 "2000-08-15T13:30:33Z")
I wish to lay Claim to Lita from the WWF. view her at [http://www.amydumas.net](http://www.amydumas.net) ---
**Author:** ![Bubble\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c0e974/32.png) [@Bubble\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bubble_Girl)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2000, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-girlfriend/29073/15 "2000-08-15T14:21:49Z")
Irishman you really need to turn the TV off and get out more. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2000, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-girlfriend/29073/16 "2000-08-16T04:31:19Z")
Shanin, I’ve tried, but they will only give one day pass a week. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2000, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-girlfriend/29073/17 "2000-08-16T04:44:29Z")
Could anyone point me to an actress with red hair whose character is really shy? I know there’s that girl on “Opposite sex” who made googly eyes at that drug teacher guy. And there’s the lesbian who is DAMN hot. Oh, and these need to be ladies who do not have hugely curvaceous figures. See “The A-B cup club” for why. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2000, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-girlfriend/29073/18 "2000-08-16T05:01:27Z")
Crap. I post that, then I remember my new-found fascination with Jessica Biehl and my old-found fascination for Alicia Silverstone. However, Biehl is my age, whereas Silverstone is NOT. And I prefer Biehl’s hair. ---
**Author:** ![Anniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/cc9497/32.png) [@Anniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anniz)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2000, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-girlfriend/29073/19 "2000-08-16T08:37:15Z")
You fooled me. I was going to say lucky you and congratulations, well, maybe next time then… ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2000, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-girlfriend/29073/20 "2000-08-18T04:40:17Z")
iampunha, you want a shy _redhead_? Aren’t you forgetting your stereotypes? Thanks Anniz.