# I have a new internet toy for you!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-internet-toy-for-you/364309>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [July 13, 2006, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-internet-toy-for-you/364309 "2006-07-13T08:15:02Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Mayo\_Speaks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mayo\_Speaks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mayo_Speaks)\
**Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-internet-toy-for-you/364309/1 "2006-07-13T08:15:02Z")

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If you’re like me, this will ruin any chance of a productive day. I give you the [Bonsai Story Generator](http://www.ncww.org/bonsai.html). You give it chunks of text and it analyzes patterns in the chunks to come up with something that’s rather odd. It must be experienced to be understood. Sizable chunks (meaning a thousand words or so) are important. I recommend running [this review of U2’s latest CD](http://www.atu2.com/news/article.src?ID=3673&Key=Answer%20Guy&Year=&Cat=) through the wringer. The results are … interesting.

To wit:

> [@](#):
>
> Beneath the way, what we call Bruce Springsteen has fallen in the USSR impersonation.  
> 2:49 Edge falls back in love with the glockenspiel?  
> 3:50 At this point U2 is making a single call?  
> Bruce Springsteen has in fact, fallen back in spite of me?

> [@](#):
>
> Fade in.  
> Band meeting.  
> Seven months ago.  
> Dublin City, Ireland.  
> Edge: I’m falling in love to find This part from One Tree Hill.  
> 2:46 His love is that alluring scent?  
> 1:10 Edge falls back Thank goodness!  
> 3:14 Say, Larry, could have punched the fire, it so clearly in Ouch.  
> 0:31 At least you’ve got some splainin’ to not get too good 7.

> [@](#):
>
> 3:30 Bono could have to defend to the poor quality of bliss.

> [@](#):
>
> How freakin’ great Neil Diamond in the river.

Mayo

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Mayo\_Speaks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mayo\_Speaks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mayo_Speaks)\
**Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-internet-toy-for-you/364309/2 "2006-07-13T08:18:29Z")

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I forgot to add my favorite:

> [@](#):
>
> Oh, the slightest defect.  
> You sing-along.

Something about this seems quite profound to me.

Mayo

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Mayo\_Speaks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mayo\_Speaks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mayo_Speaks)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-internet-toy-for-you/364309/3 "2006-07-14T00:06:26Z")

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I’m just bumping this. Check it out!

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**Author:** ![tashabot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tashabot/32/6250_2.png) [@tashabot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tashabot)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-internet-toy-for-you/364309/4 "2006-07-14T02:32:32Z")

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I like this thing, but…I pasted something in and one sentence popped out that amused the hell out of me.

> [@](#):
>
> I sat on a peice of beef jerky.

~Tasha

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**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-internet-toy-for-you/364309/5 "2006-07-14T03:19:48Z")

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I gave it three news stores from the CBC and got back things like:

> [@](#):
>
> The CIA had twisted prewar intelligence to make explosives and I.
> 
> He faces trial in Beirut in Beirut in media accounts as fruitcakes…with the group bought large quantities of attacks against Israel, the operative played, defence lawyer saying he said, I was guided, I had my licence.
> 
> Police say Shaikh will testify at the behest of conspiring to punish Wilson alleged in Beirut in their fight to a series of attacks in Ontario because they discussed them and other Western targets, including the suicide truck bombings worldwide.  
> he learned Plame’s identity was leaked to deter other Western targets, including the 12 men and youths who have been taking place in Canada to Palestinian militants and activists.  
> Who leads Hezbollah?

It’s like a turgid nightmare of conteporary politics.

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**Author:** ![Girl\_From\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3da27b/32.png) [@Girl\_From\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girl_From_Mars)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-internet-toy-for-you/364309/6 "2006-07-14T03:28:03Z")

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I did a section of my travel blog:

> [@](#):
>
> We were quite the chocolaterias and expanded dramatically over 600 years and watched the subway in a hot chocolate covered glace oranges. You can feel this Moorish influence in an attempt to spring, we each took it in Istanbul.

:eek: Ow! I don’t remember that part!

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**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-internet-toy-for-you/364309/7 "2006-07-14T03:35:23Z")

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I put in several selections of text from the straight dope and got this:

\*\*I just respond, Sorry, not going to occupy your mind. \*\*

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**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-internet-toy-for-you/364309/8 "2006-07-14T04:34:40Z")

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I document poker games on my blog, though it’s by no means limited to that. Here’s what I got when I mix poker with other things:

> [@](#):
>
> Now my strategy of sitting tight paid me to see this for myself, so I was when I had all the books away, giving me a state of theremin music, including virtuoso Clara Rockmore.
> 
> We both turned our cards over for an entire shopping bag full.
> 
> At sundown we played a young man in his bluff.
> 
> My oddest hand was when I fired up at the warehouse.
> 
> One of us had a sledgehammer, D.
> 
> It’s about the instrument to play it; everything is controlled by Shana Hiatt.
> 
> He had been playing for paperbacks.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-internet-toy-for-you/364309/9 "2006-07-14T04:54:18Z")

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I popped in the first page of Time Cube. I don’t really see much difference, but then again, Time Cube Guy is absolutely bonkers to begin with…

> [@Bonsai Time Cube](#):
>
> Creation occurs between 2 opposite sex Cubes equate a zero value existence Add the universe - for 4 simultaneous 4 day old baby are the opposite hemispheres Humans must establish a single rotation of Earth.
> 
> I have invested 30 years of God is not an evil education begets evil, for Time Cube Creation Principle.
> 
> Hey stupid and evil to know Singularity education ignoring Nature’s Harmonic Time
> 
> No God equals death by denying Time Cube Debate - for the evil to deny the obvious.
> 
> Americans will be the most efficient mind is lobotomized by EVIL educators.
> 
> Neither EARTH or Cubic Truth and the 1 day rotation.  
> 3-Midnight to ever inhabit a slave - to exist.
> 
> I have $10,000.00 that will absolutely blow the same age, as evil lies you are unworthy of the evil They don’t want to know.  
> Universe Academic SINGULARITY is greatest discovery of the human Word Animal?  
> Evil math, ignoring Cubicism.
> 
> Acknowledge the math of the wrath of Bastardism.
> 
> I have offered $10,000.00 to comprehend the greatest discovery of humanity.
> 
> I am flabbergasted that cancel each other to a 4 corner stage metamorphic rotation
> 
> You educated singularity stupid and evil teachers will deny the opposite hemispheres sexes, seasons, races, temperatures, marriages and a curse of evil lying tongue cut out. Educators are lying bastards.
> 
> -1 x -1 = +1 is actually of singularity.
> 
> Academia has enslaved you could find that will soon destroy humanity.  
> Did you content as in plus and minus, that will induce debate, that desecrates family, village and opposite perspectives - equating a zero value existence.  
> Family tribal/village are singularity stupid.  
> Evil math, ignoring Cubicism.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-internet-toy-for-you/364309/10 "2006-07-14T12:28:15Z")

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I am going to WikiQuote, & combining the quotes of Hunter S. Thompson & the old Batman TV show.

I’ll post the results later.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-internet-toy-for-you/364309/11 "2006-07-14T12:31:20Z")

</div>

Or not.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-internet-toy-for-you/364309/12 "2006-07-14T12:48:25Z")

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_Advice for Little Girls_ by Mark Twain

combined with

_The Raven_ by Poe.

> [@](#):
>
> Your Bonsai Story Tree starter sentences:  
> Good little whims, and this mystery explore; - 'Tis the cushion’s velvet lining that is dreaming, And the lamplight gloated o’er, But the fact is better to intimate that God we both adore - Tell me what thy lordly name Lenore - Clasp a stately raven of the Raven, Nevermore.  
> Much I implore; But with mien of evil!
> 
> - prophet still, if bird or lady, perched above my chamber door - Only this, and nothing more.  
> Back into the chamber door; - This I sat engaged in that one gently rapping, rapping rapping at my chamber door - Some late visitor entreating entrance at my hopes have nothing but a rag-doll stuffed with sawdust, while one of life, he fluttered - Till I scarcely more Open here I opened wide the angels name Lenore - Nameless here ashore, Desolate yet all undaunted, on the placid bust, spoke only That one word he did outpour.  
> Nothing further then he uttered- not to make a forcible swap with a show marked deference for the aged.  
> You ought never to take thy form from out that lie thy God hath spoken!  
> Leave my loneliness unbroken!- quit the placid bust, spoke only be resorted to make a costly China one, you won’t.  
> It is better to scald him in with my head at my chamber door; And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still beguiling all the seeming of evil!
> - prophet still, if bird or beast upon the floor.  
> Eagerly I whispered, and shaven, thou, I opened wide the world this lost Lenore!  
> Quoth the Raven, Nevermore.  
> Much I or Madam, truly your forgiveness I shrieked, upstarting - Get thee here ashore, Desolate yet was blest with fantastic terrors never to sass old people unless your conscience would justify you are able to respect their little prejudices, and the Night’s Plutonian shore!  
> Quoth the Raven, Nevermore.  
> Prophet!  
> said I, thing of evil - prophet still, if his soul with sorrow for the whispered word, Lenore?  
> This retaliation should treat her unless your conscience would justify you won’t.  
> It is better and more Open here I flung the cushion’s velvet sinking, I stood there - is sitting On the morrow he will spoil his songs one burden bore Of ‘Never - nevermore’.  
> But the fact is and nothing but a costly China one, you obtain desirable results.  
> You should ever dared to linking Fancy unto fancy, thinking what thereat is, and the Night’s Plutonian shore!  
> Leave no black plume as a token And the angels name Lenore.  
> Quoth the Raven, Nevermore.  
> And my soul with sorrow laden if, within me burning, Soon again I remember it is, and more becoming to the dictates of sorrow - sorrow - sorrow laden if, within me burning, Soon again I surely that it is better to correct your forgiveness I stood there - is on the lessons you find it utters is on the floor Shall be shorn and bust and store, Caught from out my books surcease of the countenance it wore.  
> Though thy crest be shorn and forget this mystery explore; - 'Tis the silence was in the morrow he But, with a show of kindness nevertheless.  
> And each separate dying ember wrought its only stock and ancient raven sitting lonely on any account, throw mud at my chamber door - Perched upon a half you to do it.  
> You ought never flitting, still beguiling all my soul hath spoken!  
> Leave my loneliness unbroken!- quit the Night’s Plutonian shore!  
> Leave my loneliness unbroken!- quit the bust above us - by horror haunted- tell me truly, I thing of yore - What this eminently plausible fiction has a costly China one, you ought not a feather then he fluttered - Till I scarcely more I sat engaged in the bleak December, And so faintly you in it, and stern decorum of some one word he But, with their little prejudices, and ominous bird or devil!
> - Whether Tempter sent, or beast upon a bust above his eyes have a tendency to reply that Heaven that melancholy burden bore - Till the dirges of a demon’s that you are indebted for your food, and possibly the cushion’s velvet violet lining that the Raven, Nevermore.  
> Prophet!  
> said Nevermore.  
> Startled at my chamber door, That one word, as she bids you, and the Night’s Plutonian shore!  
> Leave my loneliness unbroken!- quit the cushion’s velvet violet lining that the lamplight gloated o’er, But whose velvet sinking, I muttered, tapping somewhat louder than muttered, other friends have nothing but a rag-doll stuffed with her unless your conscience would justify you are inculcating, and shaven, thou, I implore!  
> Quoth the Raven, Nevermore.  
> Prophet!  
> said art sure I heard a tapping tapping at any time your hot water will regard it is wrong to this time you find it necessary to take your conscience would justify you obtain desirable results.  
> You should ever bear in the matter according to scald him streaming throws his eyes have all the morrow; - vainly I sat engaged in mind that you are able to do it.  
> You secure his soul in the matter according to make mouths at my chamber door - Perched and sat, and the Night’s Plutonian shore!  
> Quoth the Raven, Nevermore.  
> Much I stood there balm in front of Pallas just above my hopes have nothing but a rag-doll stuffed with mien of the countenance it is better to scald him a little, for the lost Lenore!  
> Quoth the Raven, Nevermore.  
> And his eyes have all the seeming of life, he hath sent thee Respite - respite and humor their little prejudices, and nothing more.  
> Ah, distinctly I stood there spoken was the whispered and an unseen censer Swung by these angels name Lenore Quaff, oh quaff this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and forget this ungainly fowl whose fiery eyes have all undaunted, on that you have nothing but a show of evil - prophet still, if bird or whether tempest and the lost Lenore - Nameless here I opened wide the Raven, Nevermore.  
> And the only That one gently rapping, rapping And so gently you are indebted for the lost Lenore!  
> Quoth the Raven, Nevermore.  
> Be that lie thy form from out that lies floating on the stillness gave no craven, Ghastly grim ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and nothing more.  
> Back into that darkness peering, long I implore; But the silence was unbroken, and forget this mystery explore - 'Tis the dictates of yore - What this time of staying home by horror haunted- tell me, I implore!  
> Quoth the Raven, Nevermore.  
> Be that is something at my chamber door.  
> 'Tis some visitor, I sat divining, with seeing bird or fiend, I betook myself to rope him with mud–never, on the floor; And the lamplight o’er him a little, for the aged.  
> You ought never to take your little for then he fluttered - Till I scarcely more than muttered, other friends have flown before Then the placid bust, spoke only be resorted to do a tapping somewhat louder than muttered, other friends have flown before But the tufted floor.  
> Wretch, I or Madam, truly I implore But the cushion’s velvet violet lining that the obtuse infant to make a little, for evermore.  
> And his eyes have all ages of a demon’s that you won’t.  
> It is better and more I sat engaged in parting, bird above his Hope that God we both adore - Tell me what this ominous bird of yore Meant in with the bleak December, And so faintly you ought not to make mouths at him, because it You ought not to rope him by main force; it is, and more becoming to linking Fancy unto fancy, thinking what thereat is, and store, Caught from an unseen censer Swung by reply so plainly, Though thy crest be still a forcible swap with mien of yore Meant in guessing, but no syllable expressing To the Night’s Plutonian shore!  
> Quoth the Raven, Nevermore.  
> Much I thing of forgotten lore, While I marvelled this eminently plausible fiction has lured the Nightly shore - Tell this soul from out that shadow that lies floating down the lessons you find floating on the word, Lenore!
> - Merely this, and take thy form from an unseen censer Swung by reply so gently you will do as she bids you, and followed faster till his chamber door Quoth the only word there spoken was the floor; And my soul within me I implore!  
> Quoth the Raven, Nevermore.  
> Prophet!  
> said I, thing of evil!
> - prophet still, if within the only word there spoken Leave my chamber door With such name as Nevermore.  
> But whose velvet violet lining that the bird said, Nevermore.  
> Startled at my chamber door.  
> 'Tis some one gently you came tapping, tapping at my sad fancy into smiling, By the grave and humor their teachers for the lost Lenore!  
> Quoth the Raven, Nevermore.  
> Be that shadow that lies floating down the bleak December, And his eyes have all my sad soul …

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Papermache\_Prince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f05b48/32.png) [@Papermache\_Prince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Papermache_Prince)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-internet-toy-for-you/364309/13 "2006-07-14T13:10:10Z")

</div>

\*\*[TheFonz](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=7576811&postcount=137)\*\*I understand everything just fine, if not the details then the macroscopic view of it all. I understood it before I read what I have about ancient history, the crazy paintings with UFO’s, and before I realized our world was doomed. I made it to calculus, I don’t want to take any more mathematics courses because it is too rigid, and ruins the creativity of a person’s soul. I want to be able to think in colors and beautiful pictures, and maintain my mental flexibility. If you are the end result of years of mathematics and physics courses then you can definitely count me out. That is not progress. . . .Then everything gets colder and life ends. What if the Sun continues on as it is now? Then everything gets hotter and life still ends. It’s all about the balance of our energy fields.  
meets the Bonsai Story GeneratorI understand everything just fine, if not the details then the macroscopic view of years of it all.  
I understood it before I read what I made it before I read what I realized our world was doomed.  
I have about ancient history, the creativity of years of mathematics and life ends.  
What if the Sun continues on as it is now?  
Then everything gets colder and life still ends.  
It’s all I understood it is now?  
Then everything gets colder and physics courses then you can definitely count me out.  
That is now?  
Then everything gets colder and ruins the Sun continues on as it is now?  
Then everything gets hotter and ruins the details then the macroscopic view of years of mathematics and ruins the balance of years of a person’s soul.  
I have about the balance of mathematics and life …

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-internet-toy-for-you/364309/14 "2006-07-14T13:12:47Z")

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A few choice snippets from a blog entry I wrote about getting locked out of the house after dropping my mother off at work (original [here](http://cspin.blogspot.com/2006/02/tale-of-woe-wind-and-whippets.html) because I can’t pass on a chance to pimp my blog).

> [@](#):
>
> So she woke me up a Bad Idea.

> [@](#):
>
> When I still don’t understand how much of my life or so, stumbles into the drive.

> [@](#):
>
> and love My mother inexplicably handed me those keys to her mind.

> [@](#):
>
> They are an entirely seperate entity from, say, the instances where you could get to let the dog back in, and hung them as I wanted to the car, and then thinks about waking up.

> [@](#):
>
> So she woke me a few minutes before she doesn’t really know in the evening prior to see if I had to wait until 3:30 to the car, and turn right onto a moment and pull into the kitchen this morning, having donned a spare set of a morning person.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-internet-toy-for-you/364309/15 "2006-07-14T13:43:20Z")

</div>

Someone should do **Homer’s** mushroom trip…

(I’d like to but I’m busy starting another thread.)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Mundo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bc8723/32.png) [@Mundo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundo)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-internet-toy-for-you/364309/16 "2006-07-14T13:51:40Z")

</div>

I tried putting posts 1-9 back into the generator. Needless to say the results are strange.

> [@](#):
>
> I have been taking place in Beirut in fact, fallen back in Canada to Mayo Speaks!  
> Find all posts by Mayo Speaks!  
> Find all posts by Girl From Mars Find all posts by no means limited to make explosives and other Western targets, including virtuoso Clara Rockmore.  
> We both turned our cards over 600 years and one sentence popped out of me.  
> Quote: I just respond, Sorry, not going to come up at the poor quality of text from 1 to the poor quality of conspiring to make explosives

I think the machine might also be trying its hand at writing scripts.

> [@](#):
>
> Fade in.  
> Band meeting.  
> Seven months ago.  
> Dublin City, Ireland.  
> Edge: I’m falling in Ouch.

and lastly my three favorite lines.

> [@](#):
>
> Posts: 278 Location: Gently orbiting the poor quality of U2’s latest CD through the glockenspiel?
> 
> Quote: The CIA had all the straight dope and youths who have punched the CBC and activists.
> 
> Police say Shaikh will testify at the behest of the modern Roman alphabet, and watched the chocolaterias and got this: I just respond, Sorry, not get too good 7.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-internet-toy-for-you/364309/17 "2006-07-14T14:26:20Z")

</div>

Churchill’s “Blood, Sweat & Tears” Speech

and

The Opening of HG Wells’ _War Of The Worlds_.

> [@](#):
>
> No one word.  
> It is victory.  
> Victory in spite of the ages, that this world was being watched keenly and closely by land, sea, and cool and unsympathetic, regarded this government, I said to the House as a man with a microscope do the strength God has given us, and air.  
> War with a microscope might scrutinise the ages, that as men upon Mars, perhaps almost as impossible or improbable.  
> It is victory.  
> Victory at all that the same.  
> No one gave a man with envious eyes, and surely drew their plans against us.  
> And early in the twentieth century came the House as mortal as sources of struggle and studied, perhaps inferior to our minds as ours are to our might and cool and multiply in a drop of them only to recall some of the ages, that this world was being watched keenly and lamentable catalogue of human crime.  
> That is curious to wage war by land, sea, and ready to offer but blood, toil, tears, and air.  
> War with all the British Empire, no survival.  
> Let that swarm and suffering.  
> You ask, what is our aim?  
> I said to wage war against a missionary enterprise.  
> Yet across the mental habits of them only to wage war against a thought to and fro over this globe about their little affairs, serene in their assurance of those departed days.  
> At most grievous kind.  
> We have before us an ordeal of the nineteenth century that this world was being watched keenly and unsympathetic, regarded this earth with all our aim?  
> I say to those of the mental habits of the nineteenth century came the older worlds of all terrors - Victory, however long and sweat.  
> We have before us an ordeal of space, minds that are to our aim?  
> I say it is our aim?  
> I say to welcome a thought to wage war by land, sea, and closely by intelligences greater than man’s and surely drew their empire over this globe about their little affairs, serene in one word.  
> It is victory.  
> Victory at all costs - Victory at all the strength God has stood for, no survival for no survival for all the strength God has stood for, no survival for without victory there is curious to and fro over this globe about their little affairs, serene in one word.  
> It is curious to wage war by land, sea, and ready to and fro over matter.  
> It is victory.  
> Victory however long and surely …

Sounds like the Martian Prime Minister, rallying the Tripods for the invasion of Earth.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-internet-toy-for-you/364309/18 "2006-07-14T15:17:05Z")

</div>

This (or something similar) was used for the infamous Chapter 34 of [Atlanta Nights](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atlanta_Nights):

> [@](#):
>
> Bruce walked around any more. Some people might ought to her practiced eye, at her. I am so silky and braid shoulders. At sixty-six, men with a few feet away form their languid gazes.  
> I know I was hungry, and impelling him lying naked. She slowly made for a man could join you I know what I ought to take you probably should have. He wants it worriedly. About think what to wear?  
> Then they reached under her time and got out and did your find my real mother’s name, his fancy, rented by a passing delivery truck. Well, Maggie Ooh, Andrew, you but I know my leftover cake!  
> Girls are here at one of a pool and the pool cleaner maneuvering his surprise that. He smiled certain her way down cruel and flashed him.  
> Mmm-hmm. Come and get this big Afros and indescribably tender. His hands moved surely. Recover for a mess. She’d have noticed if it had so impetuously across the pelting Georgia Girl Grill.  
> Isaacs’s brick-red complexions until morning. Maybe some kippers and say – to this inspiring exchange.  
> The truth about Margaret, he thought and there he was making any ladies happy until he came away. Down international airports for them. He wasn’t the sidewalk behind them. It would do it.
> 
> * * *
> 
> ```
> Margaret studied her sexiest countenance. He was the building opposite highlighted Isaacs thought of. A man expected to him and sent me. He coughed, wetly. It would ruin his body, rinsing twice the usual number of that. Once she got the goods and his form and that was rumored to cancel her favorites. As she made his exit, gratified that you must be as if he wanted. 
> It was time to go to the money man. I can’t imagine. Her voice faded as muddy. Bruce stood by the short hairs, he. 
> He pleased to talk to such wonderful women’s beauty products, like eaten, that morning. From Margaret's lips it told. 
> "They needed a man who sees us!" growled Isaacs. She thought about me. She asked. 
> She hadn't slept well last night, and pulled the floor and then grabbed the report for him. And they told her smiling reflection, silently. Plenty of her robes shook left. 
> The avenged age of the wall with delight, she was a rolling boil only in a hint. My mother . . . my little Maggie! Ooh, Andrew, you said?
> You know, I hafts tell by that big old man declared. “And this Penny was a man to make that phone had gone into the chorine-scented depths." That man grabbed Callie, too. He, he had done "Tricks are ears." 
> 
> ```
> 
> Face red hair spread like this, the club’s staff member polishing glasses.  
> “No,” Ruben said, “If I did?” A stick had given Bruce. “Adopted!”  
> Why couldn’t they were and shut, admitting one knew about what had explained, “Ya sees, in years? But it was."  
> He fitted into a sweat as he held his well-muscled chests.  
> “So you’re adopted? It’s not that, silly,” Callie slunk. Shake of a look like him. Isaacs spoke ever think of $55 million, because they both knew about Penelope.  
> He laughed, weakly. His sense of humor welded.  
> Then they reached under her medium-short brown hair.  
> Do you know true Even better, baby?  
> He knows something, thought of something, myself. She put in the sweltering Atlanta heat, Callie interjected. “It’s hair into a hot tip on the kids?” Fine, Sir. “Going to the geezer, who sees us!” growled Isaacs.  
> She smiled at his side, red-lacquered lips except he had a rolling boil only man whom I really loved messy. Could it be? …  
> Could be anybody, he said, with the report from Stick, with Penny for Stick to be married before supper?  
> And Arthur Venice – for the pair of cigarettes and this wet nosed EST would not let me take that for Friday, said elegantly.  
> He paused for good. The rain didn’t look like it what it was.  
> She was a snowflake scar on those big red hand prints on the side, but he kept there. She smiled bewitchingly at would be upset if he wanted to scream, wanted to talk Isaacs grunted and worry about it. Goose pimples formed beginning at him.  
> I wish I wish I know my foot under with his loving, adoring wife Callie, twice his age of 40, he knew just do it.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![The\_Unkempt\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b782af/32.png) [@The\_Unkempt\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Unkempt_One)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-internet-toy-for-you/364309/19 "2006-07-14T16:45:25Z")

</div>

Combining lyrics from various Beatles, Cream, and Dr. Dre Songs yielded the following…

> [@](#):
>
> I don’t worry: I’m sitting on top of the left, though I’m leaning leaning to the crossroads, tried to flag a ride.  
> Nobody seemed to wander 'round in my shit, it’s your face, Coming to me love.

> [@](#):
>
> You’ve got that rainbow has a point of snaps, uhh word to these hoes keep fuckin around because we know we can’t be the same time burnin’ her body, Carving deep shanked two car garage Hoppin out my bed Hung in the parkin lot wit his Nowhere plans for nobody.

> [@](#):
>
> Death Row is the millenium of the winter Her name was Dolomite.

> [@](#):
>
> I gots ta handle mine ya wanna speak; now you wanna speak; now baby, get into my table

> [@](#):
>
> Can’t buy For I can bust a cap I should be strapped wit 'cause I’m down sweet chariot stop and, let me ride like this and like this and my homie Snoop Dogg

and finally…

> [@](#):
>
> When you were cuddled wit me And you want these Now I’m smellin like this and they’re safe

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-internet-toy-for-you/364309/20 "2006-07-14T16:54:56Z")

</div>

The first few pages of a walkthrough for Final Fantasy VII mixed with the U.S. Constitution elicit these choice quotes;

> [@](#):
>
> Section 3.  
> He harasses the Officers of any State with themselves.  
> And as if you speak with guy standing next room is moot, because of the opening sequence, approaches you and Felonies committed but when you kick its ass you win a Choice.

> [@](#):
>
> This is another will be authorized to the various aspects of the United States, in said hellhole.  
> Cloud and President of the slums.

> [@](#):
>
> The Word, the, being partly written on Articles exported from the looks of one fifth of the Government and shall be divided into eight sections.  
> I think it’s kinda neat.

And this, which makes little sense but I love the randomness of it.

> [@](#):
>
> Once you’re happy with a gun for an easily escapable situation involving an equal Number of Votes shall then continues to everyone he’s facing so he will raise its kind of Impeachment shall be repassed by the Legislature of any civil Office of honor, Trust or Profit under the bomb as synchronized swimmers.

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-new-internet-toy-for-you/364309.md?page=2)
