# I Have A Spare Uterus **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 15, 2007, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-spare-uterus/392421 "2007-02-15T23:22:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![InappropriateHumor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/eb8c5e/32.png) [@InappropriateHumor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InappropriateHumor)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2007, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-spare-uterus/392421/41 "2007-02-17T02:38:07Z")
Shower cap? Or, I have seen some horribly ugly, lumpy hats this winter. I’m thinking you could make a dandy one. For the record, if I could unload my uterus I would be a much happier individual. My mother had a complete hysterectomy years ago and has been sooo glad. Well, after the menopause symptoms she had. They took her ovaries as well. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2007, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-spare-uterus/392421/42 "2007-02-17T06:55:53Z")
[QUOTE=Miss Purl McKnittington] Well, **faithfool** could always jerky it first. Nothing like the old food dehydrator for preserving uteruses, I always say. [/QUOTE] Actually, over the years I’ve jerkied it quite a bit. Oh, that wasn’t what you were talking about, huh? 😛 [QUOTE=InappropriateHumor] Shower cap? Or, I have seen some horribly ugly, lumpy hats this winter. I’m thinking you could make a dandy one. For the record, if I could unload my uterus I would be a much happier individual. My mother had a complete hysterectomy years ago and has been sooo glad. Well, after the menopause symptoms she had. They took her ovaries as well. [/QUOTE] Now that’s an excellent suggestion! I love skull caps, I suppose this would bring new meaning to the term. 🙂 And as for the rest of your response, I _so_ read that as “if I could UPLOAD my uterus…” and I started to wonder if you really might be onto something here. YouTube anyone? ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2007, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-spare-uterus/392421/43 "2007-02-17T07:58:26Z")
[QUOTE=faithfool] I’m tellin’ ya, they won’t let me have it. ☹ Perhaps it’s too special ( ::: awe ::: ) or something and they must. grab. it. for some sort of underground espionage thing. Otherwise, that truly would be the most perfectest thing to say. Ever. Hehehehe. [/QUOTE] Waitaminute! They _won’t_ let you have _your_ uterus after they take it out? It’s _yours_ and you don’t get to keep it? I suggest you look your doctor right in the eye and say, “It’s uter **us** , not uter **you**!” and demand that they give it to you. Simply explain that you’re going to be taking a bagpipe course and it’d be a zen thing, if they’d let you have your uterus to make into bagpipes. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2007, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-spare-uterus/392421/44 "2007-02-17T15:36:49Z")
**Tuckerfan** , maybe they’re focusing on the **U** terus in the classic “reverse psychology” sense. And Og knows I don’t need any of that, just like I won’t need any of this. 😉 They, however, can have as much uterus as they ever desire. I’m giving freebies (to them anyway) on Monday!! Anyhoo, thanks to everyone for wishing me well and definitely for cheering me up. I’m off to brave the insanity (the other one) that is my mother before my final trip down the long white hall to the operating room of doom. Hopefully I’ll be able to check back in around Thursday, uterine free. Ciao! ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2007, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-spare-uterus/392421/45 "2007-02-17T16:43:21Z")
[QUOTE=faithfool] I am always willing to produce further scientific evidence that would benefit others. So, how close are you to Disney Land? 😃 [/QUOTE] If you mean Disney World, then 15 miles. If you mean Disney Land, then… well.. how many miles is California from Florida? ::crosses fingers:: ---
**Author:** ![Terrorcotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@Terrorcotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrorcotta)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2007, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-spare-uterus/392421/46 "2007-02-17T16:58:35Z")
**faithfool** - see, I figured that all those things were connected - ovaries, fallopians, uterus, vagina and stuff. In turn they were connected to each other and all the other things down there to form a nice compacted package that keeps everything in it’s place. So far so good. My next thought was if you take all those things out and leave just the vaginal ‘tube’ what’s to keep it from moving about? Or being sucked inside out from the vacuum created during intercourse? Or simply wandering out for a bit of fresh air? The doc thought for a second and decided he had done a ‘tack’ job good enough to prevent just such issues. I love this guy. And this is what happens when you combine an active imagination, a basic knowledge of anatomy and laying around with your legs in stirrups. ---
**Author:** ![Terrorcotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@Terrorcotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrorcotta)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2007, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-spare-uterus/392421/47 "2007-02-17T17:02:41Z")
As for the vaginal surprises? I’m looking for some wax lips or a gummi tongue for this year… ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2007, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-spare-uterus/392421/48 "2007-02-23T17:42:26Z")
Howdy. I am happy to report that I survived the excavation with minimal digging and I’m now recovering with my statue of Pazuzu. It’s strange though… all of a sudden I’ve got a strong desire to discuss Hell, cocks and mothers, but not in that particular order. So, anyone else wanna talk about my parts, or lack there of, in Latin? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Terrorcotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@Terrorcotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrorcotta)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2007, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-spare-uterus/392421/49 "2007-02-23T18:39:04Z")
Glad you survived and they left you an os hole\*. \*Yeah! Look it up! ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2007, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-spare-uterus/392421/50 "2007-02-23T19:27:26Z")
Well, did they let you have a “doggy bag” or not? ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2007, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-spare-uterus/392421/51 "2007-02-25T18:03:37Z")
Sorry it took so long to get back to you. My sister, where to start. She went in with lots of pain and bleeding and so they ran the usual tests and decided that she had a huge tumor or cyst that had engulfed one of her ovaries. So, lets open her up and check it out! Open her up and wtf? It was nothing with her ovary. What they read as an enlarged ovary was actually part of her intestine. Something happened and somehow her insides got all mixed around. Her uterus was in her back and the intestines had filled in the area and were twisted and that is what was causing the pain. They closed her up and let her heal only to tell her that she had to have another surgery to fix it. So they went back in and took out her uterus and put in a net to tack up her intestines. It all sounds kind of crazy and I wouldn’t believe it, but I was in the waiting room after the first surgery when the doctor came out and said “boy is your sister going to be upset with me” and explained what he found. Not sure how it happened or when because she has two children and four months or so before the biggest pain they had gone in and inserted a balloon with scalding water to scar the uterus and clean it out. Right after her first surgery I was standing in line at the grocery store and there on the front page of the Weekly World News was a story of a woman who carried her pregnancies in her back! I bought it and took it to my sister so she would not feel so like a circus freak in this big scary world. I love the Weekly World News! ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-spare-uterus/392421/52 "2007-04-05T21:21:38Z")
I hope it’s not too wrong of me to revive a weeks-old thread, but I’m just curious how your recovery went? Anything noteworthy? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-spare-uterus/392421.md?page=2)